Esther Perel

Because they're actually fighting not about certain things, but they're fighting for certain things. Ooh. If you think you're fighting about, then you think that you're arguing about, you know, why did you put the straw in this glass? You know, and now we're going to have a whole argument about the straw.

Because they're actually fighting not about certain things, but they're fighting for certain things. Ooh. If you think you're fighting about, then you think that you're arguing about, you know, why did you put the straw in this glass? You know, and now we're going to have a whole argument about the straw.

No. What people typically fight for, I think, can be summarized in three basic things. It's based on the work of Howard Markman, but people fight over power and control. Whose decisions matter more? Who has the priorities? You know, you hear it in sentences on the podcast all the time. People say, you know, you don't value my contributions with the children. You constantly undermine me.

No. What people typically fight for, I think, can be summarized in three basic things. It's based on the work of Howard Markman, but people fight over power and control. Whose decisions matter more? Who has the priorities? You know, you hear it in sentences on the podcast all the time. People say, you know, you don't value my contributions with the children. You constantly undermine me.

No. What people typically fight for, I think, can be summarized in three basic things. It's based on the work of Howard Markman, but people fight over power and control. Whose decisions matter more? Who has the priorities? You know, you hear it in sentences on the podcast all the time. People say, you know, you don't value my contributions with the children. You constantly undermine me.

We are doing everything on your terms. We have sex when you want. We live where you want. We travel where you want. You're the boss.

We are doing everything on your terms. We have sex when you want. We live where you want. We travel where you want. You're the boss.

We are doing everything on your terms. We have sex when you want. We live where you want. We travel where you want. You're the boss.

Power and control. People fight for closeness and care, trust. Do you have my back? Can I rely on you? Can I lean on you? And what we hear is, you know, I open myself, I share my anxiety, and instead of supporting me, you fly it back in my face.

Power and control. People fight for closeness and care, trust. Do you have my back? Can I rely on you? Can I lean on you? And what we hear is, you know, I open myself, I share my anxiety, and instead of supporting me, you fly it back in my face.

Power and control. People fight for closeness and care, trust. Do you have my back? Can I rely on you? Can I lean on you? And what we hear is, you know, I open myself, I share my anxiety, and instead of supporting me, you fly it back in my face.

No, and when your mother says things about me, instead of protecting me, you ally with her.

No, and when your mother says things about me, instead of protecting me, you ally with her.

No, and when your mother says things about me, instead of protecting me, you ally with her.

Okay, that kind of stuff. And people fight for respect and recognition, meaning, do you value me? Is my contribution recognized? Do I matter? And that is sentences like, I do so much and I don't think you ever value me. When you want to go see people, you just go, you know, without even checking in with me. Like you're unilaterally making your choices.

Okay, that kind of stuff. And people fight for respect and recognition, meaning, do you value me? Is my contribution recognized? Do I matter? And that is sentences like, I do so much and I don't think you ever value me. When you want to go see people, you just go, you know, without even checking in with me. Like you're unilaterally making your choices.

Okay, that kind of stuff. And people fight for respect and recognition, meaning, do you value me? Is my contribution recognized? Do I matter? And that is sentences like, I do so much and I don't think you ever value me. When you want to go see people, you just go, you know, without even checking in with me. Like you're unilaterally making your choices.

And ultimately, you know, I had a thing in a podcast episode where they come in and they start to argue because he left the closet door open. And the cat could enter into the closet. And now follows a whole fight about the cat closet. Did the cat enter the closet or could? No, I couldn't care less. I don't listen to the story.

And ultimately, you know, I had a thing in a podcast episode where they come in and they start to argue because he left the closet door open. And the cat could enter into the closet. And now follows a whole fight about the cat closet. Did the cat enter the closet or could? No, I couldn't care less. I don't listen to the story.

And ultimately, you know, I had a thing in a podcast episode where they come in and they start to argue because he left the closet door open. And the cat could enter into the closet. And now follows a whole fight about the cat closet. Did the cat enter the closet or could? No, I couldn't care less. I don't listen to the story.