Eve Rodsky

We try and it doesn't work.

Right.

So think about that, right?

That – and I have a lot of empathy for this woman.

For her, publicly threatening to murder her partner in a public realm of 22,000 people felt safer to her than bringing it up directly with her partner.

So that's how hard, if anybody out there is saying this feels hard to bring up, I want you to know that we see you.

We know how hard this is.

And it is easier sometimes to back off.

But like I said, what is the alternative to continue to do that?

So this is a long answer to your question about 50-50.

What I'm looking for is boundary systems and communication because when I get people who say they have those things or they're practicing those things, typically I get that they perceive fairness in their home.

I don't really actually care about what actual fairness means, but I like to see that both people are perceiving fairness.

And that's why fair play is a dangerous game if you just use the cards.

So the book and the cards are meant to be a system.

And the cards, there is a card game that is a tool.

But what I say is it's a do no harm in my mind where I say on TikTok, on Facebook, in the book.

Warnings, don't use the cards without having read the book first or even listening to this podcast first.

The problem is it becomes a very quick scorekeeping tool to get very angry and resentful if you're just looking at them and saying, I hold all these cards and my partner doesn't hold any.

The visual is not for you to say, I hold everything and you do nothing.

The visual is to say, it's us against the cards.