Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
If You Do the Chores, He Gets the Promotion: The Hidden Economics of Domestic Labor with Eve Rodsky
22 Dec 2025
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
For the holidays, my family and I are headed to Florida to visit my in-laws. It is super important to me that my daughter knows her extended family and has the opportunity to spend time with them. While we're leaving one warm zip code for another, I know we'll still be getting that cozy holiday feeling of being with loved ones.
The not so cozy part is the cost of flying three people across the country. I know a lot of us are feeling that this time of year. The costs add up fast. That's why I love hosting my home on Airbnb. It's an easy way to bring in some extra income while we're away, and that extra cash can help fund our next trip.
Let's say you have a big trip planned or are escaping to a warmer part of the world to work from the beach. Why leave your home sitting empty and dark when it could be making money for you? This year, it's easier than ever to host your home thanks to Airbnb's co-host network. With the co-host network, you can hire a local co-host to take care of your home and your guests while you're away.
A co-host can do it all. Create your listing, handle check-ins, provide on-site support, and give you peace of mind that your home and guests are being taken care of while you're away. So if you've been thinking about hosting but you don't know where to start, find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. Since getting pregnant, I have been blown away by all the creative small businesses out there.
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Chapter 2: How does Eve Rodsky define domestic labor and its impact on women?
I did a huge look in the mirror when I wrote Fair Play. Typically, the most common excuse, complicit in your expression, toxic time message women use for why they do more care is because they say their husband makes more money than them. But in a culture, again, a patriarchy where women are always going to have a pay gap, then it would mean that men would never do care.
So we can't use that excuse. The other toxic time message women say is that we're better multitaskers, as we just said, that we're wired differently for care. But that's completely false. There's no evidence, but one brain study shows actually men are a little bit better at multitasking. So I don't say that to women because I think it would explode their whole worldview.
So I just try to say no one's better at multitasking. The other one that's really hard for me to handle is in the time it takes – me to tell Seth what to do, I should do it myself. And that should probably hate, you should probably hate that too, because that's like a present value problem.
So when you're talking about all of your economic themes, like that's like devaluing your future time, because of course it would make sense to- Time value of time. Time value of time, right? The time value of money, the time value of time. You want your money to compound. You talk about that beautifully all the time. I make my friends listen to you. But you want your time to compound.
And the only way for your time to compound is if you're not giving it away for free. So, of course, you want to teach someone, even if they aren't better at it, as we said, if they don't know how to wipe asses, do dishes, all the things that we've had to be penalized when we don't do, we teach those things. It's annoying, of course. We want people to be able to do things without asking.
Unfortunately, men don't always have those skills for what we just said. But when you get into a place where that person is doing those things.
For the holidays, my family and I are headed to Florida to visit my in-laws. It is super important to me that my daughter knows her extended family and has the opportunity to spend time with them.
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Chapter 3: What strategies does Eve suggest for achieving equality in relationships?
While we're leaving one warm zip code for another, I know we'll still be getting that cozy holiday feeling of being with loved ones. The not so cozy part is the cost of flying three people across the country. I know a lot of us are feeling that this time of year. The costs add up fast. That's why I love hosting my home on Airbnb.
It's an easy way to bring in some extra income while we're away, and that extra cash can help fund our next trip. Let's say you have a big trip planned or are escaping to a warmer part of the world to work from the beach. Why leave your home sitting empty and dark when it could be making money for you? This year, it's easier than ever to host your home thanks to Airbnb's co-host network.
With the co-host network, you can hire a local co-host to take care of your home and your guests while you're away. A co-host can do it all. Create your listing, handle check-ins, provide on-site support, and give you peace of mind that your home and guests are being taken care of while you're away.
So if you've been thinking about hosting but you don't know where to start, find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. Business owners, let's level up your business finances with US Bank Business Essentials.
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Bank. Ownership, which is about fair play, then you get all that compounded time back.
So what's happened to the spreadsheet? It's been shared with a gazillion women.
So let's talk about that. So the spreadsheet starts to become a point of data for me. So I put my research hat on. And again, I'm still running a law firm at this point. And this is just for fun because –
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Chapter 4: Why is the spreadsheet concept important in managing domestic responsibilities?
And it was the same thing every night. If my brother wanted water and my mother was working late, I would help him and get him his water, close my eyes, go into our small kitchen, turn on the light, keep my eyes closed because I knew that was how the cockroaches and water bugs would scatter when the lights turned on. Didn't want to see them. Then went to go get the water.
and bring it to my brother. So I think Seth had to understand my mother. He feels a lot of empathy for my mother. He feels empathy for me and my brother. And so when he could start feeling empathy for the garbage and what it connoted, it was more than the garbage. Yeah.
Yeah. And I think when it's hysterical, it's historical, right? Like you had this reaction to it. Like where was that coming from? And You uncovered it. And a lot of this stuff is not rational, right? It comes from childhood. And there's, you know, this systemic idea that like the woman is responsible.
I even noticed that our nanny, and we're all in a group thread, like she'll come to me and ask me the questions or, you know, in-laws will ask about like logistics, but just to the woman. And so... And it's generational, but also not like women who are younger than me or my age, like will instinctively come to me to ask questions about our daughter.
And schools, can you imagine what they do to women? I mean, they no matter how many men put their names on first, and I asked so many men to do that. they skip over their name and they, they call women. And what do you do about that? Like, do you put everybody on a group thread again? I don't pick up when the school calls. I just don't. And eventually.
Do you think like, what did something happen? Yeah, I do. I do. But I think I channel men and I think, okay, if they do this without a stress response, you know, most likely it's, you know, Anna bumped her head or Ben got a detention, which he did last week over not eating grapes in his pocket. Like he kept, You're not allowed to eat in the school. And he was like keeping grapes in his pocket.
So typically you pray that that's what it is. Knock on wood. But yeah, I really have had to fight my instinct to do what comes naturally.
And what about parents that leave their job to take care of the kids? Do you like the idea of putting a monetary value to a lot of these chores and labor?
I do. I do. I think I have a – again, back to our nonprofit institute, we have a guide for post-nups. And I think it's really, really important. You've talked about this on your show. The expectation that's set for you in family law is already set for you by the state. Yeah, you have a prenup regardless. You have a prenup, right? And so you might as well have one that reflects what you do.
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