Eve Rodsky

They don't even realize that the other gender has been conditioned to give away their time for free.

So what happens in a culture like that is not only do women get rewarded and punished for not doing things like sending gifts.

We start to do things early.

We learn to wrap gifts.

We're by our mother's side when they're unloading the dishwasher or learning to cook.

What happens is that men are taught that anything feminine is bad.

You're a pussy.

You know, I say to my sons, if you wore a dress to school, what would happen?

They say, well, you know, we would be beat up.

I mean, it's a horrible thing.

We're all out there for men too.

And so that patriarchal assumptions mean that if you try to come into care, men are considered pedophiles.

You don't see as many young men as babysitters.

You have to call them coaches or else it's weird.

So it's just a whole society not teaching men to care.

And so for me, what happens in that situation is not only do men not learn the skills, but women start to make excuses for being complicit in their own oppression.

And so those are the things that make me most sad for women because I cried when I did it myself.

I did a huge look in the mirror when I wrote Fair Play.

Typically, the most common excuse, complicit in your expression, toxic time message women use for why they do more care is because they say their husband makes more money than them.

But in a culture, again, a patriarchy where women are always going to have a pay gap, then it would mean that men would never do care.