Fancy

Fly, fly, fly all over the world. Paper Airplane coming to you, your girl. Yeah.

Morgans, Morgans, Morgans, gut.

Who are these two idiots?

Now, what would you-

No way.

Are those tongues out?

Why? Don't. I'm about to go ape shit crazy. Oh, no, no, no. Ape shit like?

Can I add on to it or not?

Show me. Okay. Or your friend Lisa has to go home. All right, all right.

Yeah.

Is that an oil, Dad? Yeah, yeah.

That's a haunting. Go on, go on, go on.

What did it say?

And you know what? Me too.

No, you do have an Audi.

I actually love Tyra.

,,,,,,,,. P P P P P P G ac la ac la ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac acר in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in P a

Sorry. Go away. Go away.

I like jalapenos and pineapple on my fucking pizza, man. By the way, this is what it's like taking the bus.

What?

Talking to fucking women, man.

Age of Neutrons. Everybody has a flop here and there.

It may not be called.

We actually don't. You guys have your animated show. We have an animated show and a game show and other things. Oh no, we washed those away. They're both gone.

Can we talk about that or no? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Don't take shots at previous guests.

Can you water the, can you water the valley? Can you water my soil patch?

Yeah.

Love.

What's boji? You know what boji is?

No.

Ooh, boat. I can put it in a sentence.

Just put it in, you know. It was butthole. Butthole was what? Gondengi. Gondengi. Yeah. I love gondengi.

It's very good.

Which one? Which one?

Chosun. Chosun is the best. Sukbul Jeep or Park. Park is also good. Yeah, yeah. Okay, sorry. We gotta take you.

Yeah, and your husband.

Koreans against husbands. Yeah. Anyway, Jut is breast.

Yeah.

Yes, yes, yes. What are you going to guess? I think it's unfortunately referring to little people. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, donkomok is the hole. Everybody knows it.

I guess if you write hot after, sometimes it'll be like cleavage shot.

Okay, that's enough. Definitely farted.

Who the fuck is going to put me in a magazine? Exactly. Me either. I feel the same way, but they put this piece of shit on? What do you mean? She's cool and smart. Oh, that's right. My bad. She's got all the jazz, dude. Look at her.

I've not seen anything for Andrew here.

Wow.

Golf Digest.

That you have a celebrity group chat.

Dude.

Lisa. He's not. Go on. Lisa.

You don't frolic, lady?

It's the wrong color.

No, no, no. They get lonely, so they morphed into one. They've joined each other. You've heard the term two peas in a pod? Yeah. That's what my nuts do.

Your testicles should not be a dramatically different color. Like curdled blood.

Yeah, you're on that show.

When did your comedy instinct kick in?

Yeah. Never been refilled. We filled it up one time.

Yeah. Is it not comfortable?

Four Nations was tight.

You're the best at that.

See... I'm not allowed to ask these questions? What the fuck? I didn't say you weren't. Fuck off. Oh, that's Canadian. See?

Did you start your career in Canada or here, LA? Love the word toque.

Bad breath?

Oh, shout out Dan. He's awesome.

Yeah. Didn't miss that. I'll tell you that.

Wouldn't you go in your pants if you couldn't hold it in?

Did you just do Dumb and Dumber on SOS VHS or something?

Dude, you're so white.

Holy shit.

I want... A lemonade.

You two are bad friends.

I will take one little bite of a stash. Do you guys want some of this? Oh, my God. Is it soft?

Wait a minute. By the way. Yeah. Also, soap? Your soap?

Yeah, you think your soap?

Soap. Okay. Jumping at midnight. Well, yeah, what about jumping in the middle at midnight?

Grow taller in the new year. Can you wear red? In the Philippines, do people wear red?

All right. It says it's going to increase your chance of being struck by lightning. Wow. Don't look. What is a sukup? Sukup. Sukup. Sukup. Sukup. S-U-K-O-B. Sukup.

There's a little tree you walk by. Sukup. Sukup. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What about kapdiksagang? You know that. Twin bananas.

Got big and soggy.

If a woman consumes a twin banana, she'll have twins?

What about scattering coins in a new house? When you move into a house, you scatter change everywhere?

Whenever somebody's like, these stereotypes aren't real. You're like, well, they are. Yeah. It's very funny. You bring salt and rice to what? Salt the floor and rice the floor, right?

No, you can't eat it.

The Italians are like, when we buy a new house, we put down mortadella on the floor. We do a little chant called Hungry Hungry Hippos. Wow, it's so strange. Avoid mirrors opposite the front door. You can't have a mirror directly across from the front door. That's bad luck. Covering mirrors is bad luck in Filipino culture, it says. Placing a chick on a coffin, like a baby chicken on a coffin.

That's that.

You know what my biggest problem is?

Let's cut it out. You know what, Fancy? Spain has a lot of weird supers. I'm sure you guys have just as many weirdo ones. You know Spain's got some stupid ones. Oh, the grapes at midnight. Remember we did that one time. It's the dumbest shit on earth.

Yeah, you're supposed to wish you good luck. Then you have good luck.

No hats on the bed. In Spain, consider it bad luck to put a hat on your bed.

No, I've seen Rhinestone Cowboy.

Whoa.

You went to the strip club Buckwild?

Why'd you do that, bud?

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You went to Hawaii?

Yeah, you are really town. Are you getting good?

This is what Trump was talking about. They come here, they surf all day. They don't do anything anymore. They're surfers.

Are you scared? You must be scared.

Yeah. What island did you go to in Hawaii?

Oahu. Mm-hmm. You guys like that. Well, they own a place out there. I know. Yeah. I know. Yeah.

You surfed all day and then you ate poke? Yeah. All day. That's all you do, right?

Oh, there it is. There it is. There's crazy boy. He's crazy. There comes nutso. He's nuts.

You'll know. You'll know when you see, you know, you can tell, you can't tell from the whistle. That's yeah.

Coming to town. AGT.

Yeah. You ever seen America's Got Talent?

You know what's great about Snoop Dogg? Yeah. Tell us. I think the best part about Snoop is he's really reserved himself. He doesn't do too much. Right. He's like Kevin Hart in that way. He's like Kevin Hart in that way. He says no a lot.

Like Snoop, can you name any products that Snoop's attached to? Or anything he's doing?

We're doing ads for Skechers now.

Howie.

Howie Mandel is here, ladies and gentlemen. And Howie's brought his family. That's your son? Your whole family. And I've met you before? No? I don't think so. Who else is there? Is it your daughter?

You guys are just friends? Yeah. How old are you? 30. Oh, dude. He's 35.

He's just, okay, I got it. And I got the plastics.

Look at her face, how concerned Jules is.

Well, because women usually have practical uses for whistles. Yeah.

Hernandez from SNL?

Give me the lyrics.

Give me the lyrics.

Oh, here we go.

True as it can be. barely even friends. Then somebody bends unexpectedly.

You're right. Way to go, guys.

Thank you, Rudy. What gives you the right, Howie?

It's time to get off.

It's time to wrap it up. It's a long. Alex, what do you think? How do you feel? Does he need to wrap it up? Do you want dad to get off the show and get back home to taking care of you? Taking care of him. Well, he's 35. He's obviously stunted. He brought in a beautiful woman that he's buddies with.

Where do you live? You live in LA? Santa Monica. Beautiful. I want to live on the west side. Ask me where I live. I know where you live. Santa Monica.

What are you doing? I mean, the numbers will go down, but it's not- Huge. Not about the numbers. Really huge. Not about the numbers.

Piss on them?

No?

Look at all the people that have come and gone in your tenure.

Let me guess.

Regis, Sam Donnelly. Now, I don't know who that is.

Cardi would be a good get. So you, Simon, Mel B. And Sofia Vergara. Sofia Vergara. And?

Oh, that's it.

Right. No, he hasn't.

That's incredible.

What's up for the 70th birthday? Can I ask you also those pants? Are those USPS pants? I swear to God, the woman that delivers my mail wears the exact same fucking pants. I'm not even kidding. I'm wearing ladies' mail pants? Ladies' mail pants.

I love what you did. There she is. There's my girl. That's from the neighborhood. Oh, my God. I am wearing mail.

One of the greatest guys to ever live.

Yeah, he is very fashionable. Am I fashionable?

Always.

I think this is why America's in debt. This is why we're in the hole, man. Why? Because of Urien. What is Urien? I didn't understand. Her name is... Urien Retriever. Okay. Her name is Urien Retriever? I thought that was an animal. I swear to God, I thought it was Urien.

Urien. Urien is her name.

Really?

Yeah, single, you think?

yes I know she is great you keep up with everyone who's ever contested on the show I've heard I keep up with everybody he's you know that he's got the cell phone number of everyone that's ever tried I don't have a cell phone but I DM everybody yeah I do do you want to meet Urien no but you know the one that you the one that you gave I think a golden ticket to what's it Grace Thunderbolt Grace Thunderbolt yeah what's her name Grace Thunderbolt the singer

Well, let him call her. You never know what you'll get out of that.

Maybe. Okay.

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I'll do that.

There's no way her real name is Retriever. Pretty stuck on that. A billion followers, though. Killing it. She's a dancer. I know. People love dance. Well, yes, she did. Well, not enough you didn't put her through.

Oh, Simon.

Who do you love, who do you really love working with truly, truly, truly? Who really good do you work with that you go, you know, I really enjoy that person a lot. I enjoy Sofia Vergara. She's great, huh?

Well, it's not only that, she's funny. And funny. I've never noticed her looks. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Really? That's not how I view people. He goes right to that beautiful thing. I think smart, sweet. That pudgy Asian girl says she was good.

No.

That's right.

I guess a kiwifruit?

Yeah. I've asked, but I am really interested. What is 70th birthday gonna be? That's a big deal. I'm gonna throw it myself.

Well, there was like a big commotion. And then I was like, what's going on? And then they were like, it's a medical emergency. And I was like, I know. My thought was dead. Somebody died.

I don't want to.

I'm fucking 70. Yeah, but 70 is a big deal. Here's the thing. She's never going to get there. Do it for her. How old are you?

Dick Van Dyke.

Honestly, ask AI how much longer Howie has to live.

You know, because that happened. That's happened at almost every show I've done.

If you die, this is going to be a banger. Yeah.

It is impossible.

Look at that. Zoom in. It is impossible to predict how long any individual will live, including public figures like Howie Mandel. Life expectancy depends on many factors, including genetics, lifestyle choice, medical conditions, and even chance. However, Howie Mandel, like anyone else, will live as long as his health and circumstances allow. No one can know for sure how long.

Probably the next four years. Fuck. That's pretty astute. But you're going to go for a long time. You're a healthy guy. Well, you exercise. I do. And you exercise your brain daily. That's just as important. That's what they say. If the noodle is activated. Is that what they say? They say a healthy brain is a healthier life for sure. Do you ever see Life in the Blue Zones? Do you ever watch that?

And they have a series? Yeah, they did a Netflix series. Is Okinawa a Blue Zone? It was.

Godzilla.

Yeah, it's a green zone. I kind of focus on life in the Jew zones. Life in the Jew zones.

No.

I'm a Ritalin. You're on medication? Yeah. Oh, right, right. Well, that's healthy. That's good. If you feel good, do you feel balanced or do you feel held back? I feel numb. Is that good? No. Is that good? No, you got to feel stuff.

That's funny, Carlos. Stop it, dude. Stop that.

Will you shut up?

Oh, yeah.

Who used to be, back in the day, who did you have a little bit of a qualm with?

A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends.

Do you know what the line you just said? Do you know who else stole that? You know where that's from? Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic and so am I. You wrote that? I wrote that. Do you know what movie that's in? No. That's in... That's in... You don't know either. That's the beauty of it. No, I do know. This is crazy. My brain just went blank.

You know, a lot of shit of mine got stolen when I was a kid. No, no. It's Richard Dreyfuss and fucking Bill Murray. It's what about Bob? It's in what about Bob? The scene where he is in the mental hospital. He says, there it is. Rose is a red violet. I'm a schizophrenic. And so am I. Right there. I called it. I wrote that in 19. But, you know, I remember that fucking clip.

Burr's never mad.

I've never seen Burr mad. I don't think I've ever seen Burr upset.

Are you guys fucking here right now? Is this a comedy show?

Oh, yeah. Oh, my bad.

No, no. Yeah. The audience at home will get it. Yeah. We have to let them get it, you know?

All right, go ahead. I have to say, whenever I hear the word, I'm sorry. That's instinct. I apologize. Hulu?

Gay.

He's got a fucking podcast? Uh-huh.

I don't look at numbers. I'm not here for numbers. You know, since his band was Smashing Pumpkins, the podcast should be called Picking Up the Pieces. I feel like that would have been more in line with the

Smashing Pumpkins is phenomenal. Phenomenal. What city is he from? One, two, three. Chicago. The best.

How did they never cast Billy Corgan in fucking FX's What We Do in the Shadow?

No hair, no makeup. Yeah. No, but honestly, I'm not kidding when I say this. You got to let us throw you a 70th birthday party. Let us do it. Let us do it. I'll do it. No, I'm dead serious. I think it's important. It would be great to celebrate with bad friends.

Oh, okay.

Shaquille Humphries. Have you seen Shaquille Humphries play ball? Amazing. Guy's got handles. Dude, his big hands.

I mean, it's such a dumb fucking question. That's a loser fucking dumb question. Take your headphones off and walk outside. Go smoke. Where are you going? He's going to go shorten his life.

Come on, sit down. Sit down. I don't want you to pass out. Fucking bullshit. I don't like your shoes. Can I get you Skechers? I'm supposed to spread Skechers. I would love to know that deal. How much money is Skechers? You know how I got the deal? You know how I got the deal? AGT?

Look at his shirt, dude. The jealousy is so gross on you.

Yeah. Shit.

I was going to make a fucking joke and you didn't even let me get it.

I'm off. This is a comedy show. I'm so tired. I was going to say 30% off. Did they owe you money? I mean, fuck, dude. Now it doesn't work.

With you? She's hot. Why are you offended?

Jacqueline... Love it. She's so ugly. Wait, wait. There it is.

Ask Howie. He had him on the show. He said no. Yeah, I don't know. He said no. Your Honor, he said no. He didn't get charged. That is true. He's never eaten anybody. Never eaten a person. I think it'd take a lot to eat somebody.

Bad choice of words.

Yeah. Wow. Did you give him like a fork and a fucking knife? Like, thanks for coming on the show. Sit down. Don't get this away from the guy. Well, he was a nice guy.

So fucking bummed. That's your army hammer? I've never heard the guy. I don't even know how he sounds. Let me try. How does he sound? My name is Harman Kardon. Yeah, see, we did the same kind of thing.

Look at him. Look at him. Chancho is Native American. That's the cologne commercial he does? Is that what that is? That's the Lone Ranger. Oh, that is. What are you talking about? He doesn't do a cologne commercial? Who? He dresses the exact same. Johnny Depp? Sauvage. Johnny Depp? Look at Sauvage. Dresses like that? No, he doesn't. Look at Sauvage. Look, he looks the exact same.

I've never seen this. What's the difference? Show me the difference between the two photos. Sauvage. Sauvage. You never seen that? And then Tonto. That's his sketcher. Well, you're right. Exactly the same.

It shows.

Oh, yeah? You know the oh, hum?

I mean, you're... Yeah, yeah.

Who hasn't? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why did you see his poo? He relapsed in Cancun and he got shit all over the walls.

Let's move on.

No, that's those two guys now. Yeah.

And on your face. By the way, did this movie bomb?

What a bummer.

Social Network? Yeah.

Such a good movie.

What's the kid's name? What's Spider-Man? Andrew Garfield. I love Andrew Garfield. That kid's phenomenal too.

He was in Social Network. Oh, okay. I named the whole cast.

How do you poo in the car? Why do you poo in the car?

I have diabetes. If I don't eat this, my blood sugar gets really low.

Two weeks.

Yeah, you don't go, it shows. You go, oh, that's nice. So try it again. How long did you go to Hawaii for?

I got to be honest with you. Yeah. It's the only way to eat it. These people use their hands. I mean, you of all people. You should know.

I can tell you the hands don't help. I mean, I wouldn't give you my fucking phone. Really?

Dude, just do it shows. I think it shows it's good. Yeah.

What's up, player? No, no.

That's true. That's not. So, hey, Carlos, bring up that. I saw a Filipino girl online. It reminded me of you. No, I'm serious. Okay. Not her. That's not it. I have it. But I want Bobby. Just on this image, real fast. How do you like your coffee, it says. Yeah. Which one of those two tones are your coffee? Because your mind might change when you see the whole cup.

How'd you get John Myers?

Yeah. I actually am going with John. John is going to fly me out.

Now, do you know why I won't come back on the show? No. Because I don't do anybody else's podcast because I already do ours and mine and that's all I want to. He can test it. Me too. No, that's a lie. You do shit all the time.

But ask these guys. Ask these guys that's true. Do I do other shows? Well, you're starting a new one right now. No, my own. Yeah. Yeah, no, but do I do other people's shows?

Whiskey? Whiskey's going to be around for a little bit, but I have to do the golf show. It's a show. It's a podcast, but it's a web show.

Dude, honestly, I'd love to fold this podcast. So why not? No, forever.

I'm sure the fans would like that, though. But you won't. But it's two good organizers, you and Adam. Just two guys that'll hunker down.

Color me wrong. I'm texting him right now.

So what kind of coffee? Do you like it with a lot of cream or not that much cream?

You like the far right. A lot of cream. Yeah. Let's see what the full cup looks like. One of the mocha. Yeah. Jules, do you know her?

Zoom in a little bit. Zoom in. Pinch on that. You pinching on it? I got to tell you something. The tattoos, the tattoos aren't distracting enough.

I thought this was fake, right? I thought it was like a fake.

Dentists in the Philippines? Google Philippines.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck? Dentists in the Philippines, in Cebu. Let's see. Wow.

By the way, new dental clinic because the old one didn't make it. Yeah. What's the first one? Cebu Dental Care. Give me reviews of Cebu Dental Care. Reviews. 4.9, pretty good.

Let's read it though. Yeah. I had an excellent experience at . No, no, no, no, no. Do the accent.

Oh, sorry about that.

I had excellent experience at Cebu Dental Care Center.

That's Indian, but I like it.

Service outstanding.

Yeah.

Precious reasonable.

Yeah. By the way, this is written by, these are all Americans. This isn't real.

I love the one stars, two stars. I would not return there. We had only dental checks and cleaning and polishing. Painful and useless and expensive.

Oh, dude, that's when you know to pull it out.

Yank it. Why would you keep it? It's only going to get infected. They're not going to do anything with it. Wow. It is crazy to think about people from over 100 years ago who had good teeth.

Flowers. Flowers. Berries. Berries and flowers.

Why did you say berries? Did you ever use berries as a kid for makeup?

I'm really glad you're back.

Just in the Philippines.

Why women are using their period blood for face masks. Oh, that does work then. No, she's saying when you get your first.

There you go. Despite this, culturally, the use of menstrual blood is something that has been done traditionally superstitiously for years. In the Philippines, it's said if you wash your face with period blood, you'll be blessed with acne-free skin during puberty. Did that work?

No. Yeah, yeah.

Shake it loose?

Dude, tell me the song you guys sing when you do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whose song? There's no song? Wait, so this is, so she painted her face and you do it on your first one and then that's supposed to bless you for life.

Come here, I'll fuck it, I'll give you one. It's when you have a, it's like a muscle cramp.

I'm excited for my next charley horse. Yeah. I never heard, we didn't have any.

You mean we have anything like that? Yeah, it's like, I'm trying to think of some white ones. What are the white ones? Well, it's like, you know.

Well, yeah, you know, they say if you masturbate too much, you get hairy hands.

Hair would grow on your hands.

Like that, like something like a superstitious thing that's not true. Like if you wipe blood on your face after your first period, you won't get acne.

Oh, a stye.

Yes, you get a stye in your eye from porn.

Okay, look at this one. Some of the Filipino culture, go up. Some of the Filipino superstitions, avoiding sweeping at night. Don't sweep. Right? What is that?

No, you got it.

Did she have it right? It's a sweeping at night. Sweeps away good fortune and attracts bad luck. Okay, good. Don't look at the screen. What about cutting your nails at night? Why can't you do that? Trim your nails.

No, but that makes more sense. Evil spirits. Don't ever sleep with wet hair in the Philippines.

Wow, that was fast. What does it say?

Maybe different islands have different things. I don't know. All right, this says not going home right after a wake, like after you go to a funeral.

Bingo. Itchy palms. Itchy palms. Itchy palms.

Oh, if you do a pug pug.

Cleansing ritual. Didn't we do a pug pug on this show? We love Filipinos, by the way, for the record. They're our favorite people. How about not taking food home from away? So after a funeral, you don't take food home, right?

What about itchy palms?

Yeah, when your hands are itchy inside your hand.

Sure. This just says it's a sign of good luck to have itchy palms.

You know what the fans love when we eat on the show?

Yes.

Konnichiwa. Arigatou gozaimasu for sending me to Japan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tokyo to LAX. Yeah, the LAX to Tokyo one. I watched two Lord of the Rings movies. I'd never seen any of those.

They were awesome, yeah.

Oh, you did? And I'd actually seen that one when I was a kid, but yeah, out of order, so I didn't remember it at all.

I just my uncle invited me to go see it and I had not seen the first two and I just watched that when I whenever it came out so I would have been like 12 or something or something happened with your uncle yeah no no anything no no did he well let's go swimming I don't your uncle take you on vacations

I didn't spend much time with him. He... I don't remember him ever swimming.

I don't think, or actually, I think I just slept like an hour or two.

Yeah, I'll do it anytime y'all want.

Yeah, yeah.

What is that, Dax? That's the country in Africa.

I don't know how to pronounce it, actually. Yeah, yeah. Try. Yeah, try. Yeah. Spell it out. N-I-G-E-R.

That's the name of the country.

Like to that specific spot?

Fuck.

Pakistan. I've never been there. Yeah, yeah.

What's a gulag?

So what did you do the first day there? I think just walked around. Yeah, just walked around.

Yeah, I I don't think like I noticed that um You are looking for it.

No, she's my friend's girlfriend. Oh

No, no.

Dax.

Oh, my real first name?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Maybe so. I don't think any Japanese people knew who I was, really. But a couple tourists said hi to me. That's cool.

I think more guys know me, but both actually.

Yeah.

Okay, that's awesome.

Thank you. And please give Andrew your number. No. To give to me.

And give it to me. Why him? Well, because they said it to me. Why him, not me? Because they came up to Andrew and said it to him.

I also sent Carlos a video. Did y'all see that video? We did. Cool. Okay.

Let's see. Day one, my flight got there in the daytime, so then I would have walked to my Airbnb and then just walked around.

Like a room with a kitchen and a little hallway and a bathroom.

Yeah, pretty small, but in Shinjuku.

That one was just like a picture because it's kind of funny. Well, actually, maybe that's rude, but it was like horse sushi, so I just thought that was unusual.

Outside of what? Outside of pork and chicken.

I've tried guinea pig, I think. Wait, stop. What? What? Because I was in Peru where they eat it. They eat guinea pig in Peru?

Yeah.

I don't remember. A lot of stuff, but I would... Oh, my God.

They're at lunch in Peru. Oh, my God. But it didn't look like a guinea pig.

No, just like chicken, I guess.

Yes. And then the next day, I think I just walked around a ton. Quick question.

No, I didn't hear anything like that, but I'm trying to think if there's any sound specific to... Like you wake up, right?

I didn't hear anything like that. Good.

They used to do it all the time. Yeah, yeah. And this is a forest? That was just in a park there. Oh, it's one of those suicide forests I hear so much about.

That was Logan Paul who did that.

Is he banned from there? We don't know the politics of it.

That was just in the middle of the city, and so it was just pretty.

Yeah.

I think that I kind of missed it. It just ended? Yeah. Damn.

Okay.

Okay. I think they said it was like a week late. What is this? That was just a store with a bunch of... You like stuff, huh? Yeah.

Yeah, little toys and stuff.

I think they were maybe.

Yeah, yeah. That's at some mall that has just a billion stores. And then I went there specifically because Carlos had asked for something from Japan. And I used underwear from a vending machine.

I got y'all gifts, too.

Come on, Teddy. Did you smell it? No. I don't have a sense of smell anyways. Okay, then you didn't. So I haven't opened it or anything.

They look like pretty.

you can it's so weird akiko akiko is that for sure there was a man who um came up to the machine and bought some right before me because i was like just standing there looking for a while because i i just felt too nervous to walk up to it and do it but i saw someone do it and then i went and did it wow so you got did you blush uh Good hands. Oh, I went to a baseball game one day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was, oh yeah, that's the machine. That's the machine. Wow. How much is $503.50? Wow.

Oh, drawings that you liked. That was at that same mall.

I thought that looked like Squidward.

I mostly took videos there.

Did you send him video?

Oh.

Not really because I fell asleep pretty early there because of sleep schedule. And then mostly I would just walk all day and then fall asleep quickly. Did you ever go out at night and go nightlife in it? I didn't do nightlife stuff, but I did walk around at night just to look around.

The more like eventful things was I went to like a baseball game. Oh, lovely. And then I ran into a stranger who offered to buy me sushi and he was super nice.

Yeah.

A Japanese guy named Sho.

He said, Dax.

And then, yeah, just said nice to meet you and stuff.

He likes you guys a lot.

I didn't ask, but he actually, I said you don't have to buy it, and then he just offered to buy it still. It's very nice.

Yeah, yeah. Everyone was super nice, yeah.

Okay. I met up with a Japanese pop group and filmed a video with them.

Yeah. What are they called? 5E.

yes but I don't think they understood everything I said were you attracted to any of them? yeah I think they're very pretty all of them you liked all of them Yeah, but I wasn't trying to.

What does for country mean? If for Russia for mother or mother Russia, we will die everyone everyone will know including Ukraine and Poland Yes, and we love all we love all is anyone interested in who's who would like to know we are telling you now you pick countrymen Yeah, we're generals.

Can I point and you cannot show it? I feel bad. Yes.

Oh, okay. And you can bleep that?

Well, not directly with them, but yeah, I definitely would have a crush on them, yeah.

Would you like to sing or dance?

For country.

That. Have sex to save the country. Yes.

How would you say that? I said five and then they told me five V. Oh, I see it now, Dex. I see it now.

No. go uh maybe going to that baseball game i sat in like the section where everyone's like chanting the chant you've never been there in the chat in the stadium you do the chat for me yeah like let's go let's go that's how they said that let's go let's go that was the only english part of the chant and then they said um and then there was like stuff in japanese what would that be

I don't, I didn't know exactly what they were saying. Just pretend.

Hello, let's go, let's go, hello, hello. That makes sense. That makes sense. What teams were playing? The Giants and the, I don't remember.

Actually, I think it has a different name.

Oh, actually, yeah, I guess the Tokyo Giants. Tokyo Giants, right?

Yeah. Who are you rooting for? The Giants. I went and got sushi, and I was at a conveyor belt restaurant. Oh, those are fun.

Very nice. I was feeling kind of nervous because I didn't know how to get the person's attention, and then the girl beside me noticed that, so then she kind of helped me, and then she started to talk to me through Google Translate,

Yeah.

Yes. And that I kind of had a little crush on her. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah. She said she was also traveling by herself. From where? China. Oh, yes.

No. I just left. What?

Okay.

Yeah.

I could do it.

We talked to them or watched a couple of videos.

We didn't get any more, no.

Irresistible allure.

Spell.

Because I don't have acne.

What's your birth date? November 5th.

Grab your wand, dude.

Good.

Yeah, yeah. I've just been a little tired from trying to adjust my sleep, but now I feel like I'm pretty much back to normal.

Yeah, yeah.

For seven days.

I did the pop. I met up with the pop stars. Yeah. And then I mostly just walked around more. And then I got y'all a gift as well.

Yeah. They're not like.

Well, I saw a TikTok. What?

I agree with that statement.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw a clip that you like t-shirts. I do. So I got you some t-shirts. A medium? They're large.

Large. And then I couldn't find anything specific. If you don't like them, you could have this. No, what is that? It's just coins from Japan.

That's what I was asking. If you did anything different than LA.

You're welcome. But I can get you something else.

I cut the price tag off right before I got here. Smart, smart, smart. No, we can't return them. Okay, good. Well, because I thought it would be rude. Okay. I do have one other shirt from there.

It's in my car. I don't want it.

It has a collar.

I could order you a Hypo burger.

Yeah, yeah.

What was the thought of this? The coins?

This is what we had left.

I actually just couldn't think of something.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, I don't know if you collect coins.

Do you collect coins?

Nobody does. I'll get y'all both different gifts.

Okay. Yeah.

I have a bill, like a 10,000 yen bill that I was going to take to the currency exchange, but I could give it to you.

No, it's okay.

Thank you for being a bad friend. I just ordered a pizza, and when the delivery driver gets here, one of Japan's biggest pop groups will perform for them. Are you excited?

This is an example of the performance that they'll get.

Who did you sing with?

Am I saying Karen Carpenter wrong? No, you're saying it correct.

What's that?

Boston. Boston.

I'm just asking.

Okay, I'm asking why you can't go back, dude.

Jingle all this the way. Oh, what fun it to ride one whole punch train.

Jingle bell, jingle bell. Dude, Asian Santa at the mall.

Oh, yeah.

Are you serious? No, no.

Yeah.

Ich will ihn nur für eine Woche f***en und dann f***en sie ihn bei der L.A. River. Wow, wow, wow. Wenn wir Griechenland machen.

See?

Du sagst immer, das ist etwas, in dem du Freude nimmst.

Sie sagt, ich bin Bobby-Mama. Ich bin Bobby-Mama.

That was good. I didn't do it yet!

Take me back to a private room. I'd like to see your coochie.

Better than that witch... Better than that witch... Untertitelung. BR 2018

Your green card got denied.

You know what I mean?

Go back to Squid.

That's not why, dude. Yes, it is. That's not why, dude. Carlos and George are not in. That's not why. That's not why, dude.

Where do I go then? Where's the little relaxing seat?

Yeah, cut that out. No, leave it in.

It came out wrong. It came out wrong.

Keep it in.

Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash bad friends to find an instantly book and a top rated doctor today.

No, come on, Bobby. No, no, no. That's the fucking truth. Let's talk truth and let's talk gospel.

Have seen your ex-girlfriend. Oh, yeah. I've seen. Here we go. I've seen your ex-white girlfriend. Uh-huh. And they come from the depths of the earth within each other. And the prince of Korea has come with his clear skin and his eyes are purple white.

That's true. Preach.

How is this a martial arts, dude?

You didn't go by my fucking suggestion.

Don't you guys turn around? You guys go, hi, hi, hi, all the time, man. I don't want you kung fuing.

So their whole thing is, what's going on right here? I don't know.

Right.

You claim you don't have a lot of money, but that's a lot of Amazon packages for you. A lot.

What have you done? I don't know. I don't know. What have you done for me? Move away.

Fuck you.

Yeah.

Which one? Was me and Britt or just me dancing?

Well, I'll be honest with you. Carlos. I had two fairies. Am I right? I had two fairies, two executioners. Who'd you get recognized? The king.

Another one. This is a funny one, dude. A man. So he was holding something on a leash. And it was like a man with no shirt on, black leather pants. I don't know what he was. He was holding something on a leash. And I go, and I follow the leash down. And there was another man as like a dog or something. Sure. Just crawling on the ground like that. Sure. Yeah. So you have that too.

And the dog, the dog human recognizes you and went,

There's a lot of weird things there. A lot of trans, which I support.

I know, but... And a couple of times, I'm like, milady, and he goes, he lady! Me sir.

Me sir, me sir. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, that was one of those situations.

Yeah, yeah, it's okay. You're guessing. I was gathering information. You're guessing.

It's a long walk. It's a lot of walking. What, Orange County? Where was this? It's in Pasadena. Gotta be. It was long, but it just goes on forever. And then it's like, I ate crepes. Okay.

It's not a lie.

Yes. And I have found my people. And I have some gifts for you all, if I may. If I may? Did you really? Yes.

It's a cleaner taste, though.

It does. No, it doesn't. With the chocolate malt crunch? The fuck it does. It does. Dude, chocolate.

You owe me money. I know. You know what? I sent it to you on Cash App.

I already did.

No waiting around for days now, man.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Really good yellow fish.

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Pinkberry is dog shit. Are you lactose?

Yeah, okay. I'm lactose.

Yeah. They are there. Wow.

For Jules. I'm not kidding. I love that thing. Yeah, Jules. I bought you a... It's a wand? It's a wand. Yeah, that's what they call it. Come grab it.

Look at the one in the hat right there. That's like a Korean Jew. Right there. Korean Jew.

Yeah.

Do you like your wand?

Well, you know, I've been looking up limerence. Limericks from Ireland? No, limerence.

Limerence is an infatuation with somebody that's bordering on unhealthy. Do you think that's what you have? I don't know. So I'm being mindful about how I behave. Why can't I deserve love?

Would you ever hook me up with a friend of yours?

A prayer.

A prayer. No. What do you do?

Let me guess. You jerk off. Uh-uh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's not a chuckle fucker.

Okay, sorry. There's no enough water. I got to put some more water in it. Very good. Okay, very good.

Enough of that. I think it's going to drive people crazy.

I looked into golf. And when I see a golf ball, right, I look at it different because of you.

That's what happens. It never arrives to me. It drifts away from me like you do.

Oh, my God.

Dude. King dork. And don't get offended by this, if I may. Go ahead. Right? But the texture of the ball is kind of like your face. Go on. Go on. Well, I think if you were younger, maybe you had some acne. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. So I'm feeling those craters. Oh, you feel that? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. But the center, there's a mass in there. You know what I mean? And that's the brain.

That's my brain. Yeah, and that's the brain. And your brain is filled. Thank you. Yeah, with knowledge. Thank you. Yeah. But this texture of the skin, though, is what I want to go back to. Is it bad? Not my favorite. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, here you go.

wow that was fast that was fast and furious part of six i'll tell you that wow yeah yeah anyway you're the prettiest guy you're pretty and who supports you more than me not these fucking clowns yeah shut up i mean now that you're single what are you gonna do loser eat pussy dude are you on to girls are you on to girls

Needs water.

So I'm autistic? Yes. Yeah, but the two girls in there got together. Yeah? Yeah, in their love.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love her. I love her, yeah.

What is that? I got you Voldemort's wand. God bless.

Your credit rating.

So when we're at the Renaissance Sons Fair, we ran into a couple of little Asian girls. They're in their 30s, but they're like smaller. Forever girls. And we were eating and stuff like that. And then my friend goes, yeah, they're going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look at that.

And then they look like librarians or whatever. You know what I mean? Or like dental assistants. Dental assistants, yeah. And then my friend goes, oh, they're the two biggest OnlyFans. So then I immediately go, what's their OnlyFans? What do you mean? There's two little people? No, they're not dwarves. They're just smaller Asians that look cute and look like... Engineers.

Yeah, yeah. And so then I frantically, you know what I mean? They're in Fort Cross. I'm trying to get their OnlyFans. What are they? What's their name? Right? I'm not going to say. But my point is that. Please. Ooh, la, la. It was nice, nice, nice. You never can tell. You never can tell. That's my thing.

Like Tinder?

Yeah. You can get it probably right, but I don't like the guys on Raya. To go get on, you know, cause fan ass.

And then. For my friend, Karloff. Come, please.

Oh, let's hear it. Can I be honest? Yeah. I'm hurt. Tell us your hurt pain.

Uh-huh.

Dude, you're a fucking asshole right now.

No, you don't.

No, you clean up the dog poop and you don't care. You know, your behavior last night was uncalled for.

Or we're doing a show at the Ice House. Usually we switch, but you told me to close. And then you're like, oh, I don't know.

Yeah, and then he goes, I will have nothing. And then he goes up there and he destroys. No. With crowd work. No. And I got buried both shots.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dr. Drew.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. He's a good guy though.

I'm not ready to film.

Okay.

Yeah, I need another 20 and I'm good. He's ready to rock. Another 20. But it's going to be great.

Yeah. He's a liar. He's a liar. What did he do? He goes, hey, Kevin, did you go out? He goes, yeah, I did. But he didn't. Not yet. You can't get anything truthful from that. I know.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now it's nice to go.

I like the rooms. I love them.

Yeah.

Here's a one for you, my friend. Wow. Here you go. All right? Do not jam it in your ass. Yeah.

I love them I don't know No no seriously You don't like them? I love them a lot Why? Just a couple of Mexicans They had very yellow teeth But those are just an observation Really? Because next to the Renaissance Faire is a park and it's Easter, right? So, you know, you got a guy, you know what I mean? You know, wearing like a, he's got a mini moped. He's got like a Spider-Man hat on. Oh, yeah.

Hey, puto, get out of the way. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's all those, you go from the Renaissance Faire to like, you know, people, you know, with real knives. You know what I mean?

And like, hey, puto. You know what I mean? It was like a completely different, like if there was a war, they would win. Oh, sure. Between the Renaissance Fair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They would totally win. But, you know, yeah, it's good. I love it. Where was the Renaissance Fair? In Pasadena. By the bowl or something? No, it's like far. It was a little farther than Pasadena, actually. What are we talking? Where is that? No, Carlos, don't search. It's that. That whole green thing? See that whole green thing right there?

Can you zoom in? Buddy, that's so far back. Where the lake is. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly, because the lake is a part of it.

Stop it. McCowan, please come. I gave you a black bird charmer. Here you go, my friend. Cool. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you say, you idiot? Yeah, yeah, you bow or something. Bow. Andreas, come here. I have a gift for you, too. Thank you. I have a gift for you, too, Andreas. This is a big one. Right. This is a ceramic penis.

You know, dude. It's funny. Please. When I was with my group, no one really said anything, but I did voyages on my own, and that's when it started happening.

No, yeah. They go, we'll go where the mini cows are. Meet us back there. Mini cows. There's a petting zoo. Calfs? Little calves, yeah. Really? Did you pet? I sure did. You did? Yeah.

You didn't want to try one of them? No, no, no, no.

Because I saw my group do the spears and they were just so bad. Your group. And I was ripping on them. I go, oh my God, what do you have, carpal tunnel? I was just like making fun of them. If you could do one, what would you do? Bow and arrow, I think. Because Koreans are good at that. Are they? You win the gold every time.

Really? Yeah, we win every time in the Olympics.

No, I'm not done.

Yeah, yeah.

Have you ever seen the Splash Brothers? Steph Curry no they're Filipino guys diving and they're trying to qualify for some thing oh and they yeah I can't they can't I've seen them I mean play it this guy's my guy the guy the fourth one yeah well it's all of them really done emotion okay good take off not gonna make it

Jesus. Jesus Christ. Look at his face. Look at his form. Look at his form. Right on his back. That's pretty good. No high five. Why would you high five? No high five. All right. If he high five, I would move my hand. How about the John David? Oh, he's going to do it. He's going to do it.

He does this, but he lands on his feet. It's incredible.

You're surrounded by water. Philippines are surrounded by, well, you have cliffs. How are they that bad? I don't know. Yeah, they're bad. Look at his face, dude. Look at that. He took a shit in the air, dude. Look at him. Oh, my God. Look at his whole life.

Yeah, my personal information is my personal information.

Yeah.

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Why? Why?

That's my thing. But they won gold in weightlifting.

Did they? Yeah, female weightlifting. And then I think with Dutarte, bought her like a mansion or something.

Citizenship.

Right.

Yeah, yeah. And that is it. I had a joyous day. Bob. Yeah. Thank you so much. And then you just got drunk all day, huh? Yeah. Yeah? Smash. Yeah, how'd you get here? Uber. Oh, good. Uber. Uber, my friend. Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Office machine parts. That's great.

Outside companies set up factories there, right? For sure. Yeah, yeah.

Carlos, you're a pig. You're a pig, dude.

Yeah, I mean, there is ways to do it. There's a test, isn't there? Yeah, there's an okay Filipino test, and we have it memorized. Andrew and I have it memorized. All right, go ahead. Okay, how fast can you climb a tree?

Like a minute. A 20-foot tree, right? A palm tree. How fast can you climb that? Go.

Oh, no. There's poop right there. What do you do with it?

That's right. That's right. That's good for two. Yeah, yeah. A dwarf with two knives are attacking you, but from the sky, a lady with two knives is attacking you. What do you do? What do you do?

That's the right crack. Yes.

That's how you do it, dude. Because she fell off a building. That's right. She was cooking something on the 15th floor and she fell off.

It's three in the morning. You hear a noise. You go outside, right? And you see a half Filipino man, half wolf, right? And half chicken. Three halves? Yeah, three halves. Everybody has three halves, right? What do you do?

What else do you do? And? You...

You fuck the human part.

That's very good. You eat the fucking chicken and the fucking wolf part. Pretty easy. Very easy. If you have a baby. Right. It is a wolf baby. That's a wolf baby. Yeah, with hair on the face. You know, like Barnum and Bailey.

What a circus. What? It's a circus. What a circus. What do you do?

It's your kid.

No. Propecia.

You give it a hair medication. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. That helps hair grow, right? Fuck, I got it wrong. I think, yeah.

Yeah, you have a particular fear of the white. Yeah, what is your fear of the white? You have the fear of the white. What is it?

That was one of the most expensive ones there. How much? $50. Really? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Like... I understand. You don't want to see everything in there, right? Right. You don't see all the veins and all the inner workings. You don't want to see how the sausage is made.

You just want to cover.

Let me ask you something. Are you still buzzed?

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah. Wow, dude.

Yeah.

I'm going next Sunday. You are? Yeah, and Jules is going to come. Are you really going?

So we're playing London. Who's going?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

No, because all the restaurants are closed. I'm hungry, so I'm ordering it to get delivered to my house.

Yeah, but after this podcast, I'm going to go straight home. It'll be ready for me.

Okay. What's your problem, dude? Continue with your fucking... You're my problem, bud. No, bud. And that's a strong word right now, bud. We're not at bud level. You're acting a little silly right now, dude. Carlos. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you excited?

Oh my God, there's elves, there's orcs. There's everything that you can desire. Well, explain to us how much fun you had. It looks really cool.

Oh, man, we didn't fight for weeks. It's been going on. It's been going on for a while.

For what?

Okay.

I can see you all the time.

Goodbye. Also, there's things going on in the background. Like, where are you? In a fucking airplane?

Like, what the fuck are you doing over there, dude? Yeah. He lives in a factory. Or a baby ass. What are you doing over there, dude?

It's impossible that she likes you. Impossible.

Both. I think it's an impossibility.

Did Sebastian ever invite you to his little kid things? No, but that would never be. We're not close. I used to go there.

Okay.

For eggs. What is this, Hunger Games?

Well, you can rent. See, that's where I made the mistake. You rented? I came like this. Yeah. And then I went to the store and I rented that vest. It's good looking vest. And I was just jamming out here in front of this. Yeah, it was. I'm telling you, dude, that was. What a song. You loved it. I saw jousting. I saw a couple of plays.

I mean, there's a thing about- I'll do it. I know, but in your face, your eyes crinkle, right? You do smile, but the cheeks is rage. Have you noticed that? Yeah. You'll go like this, right?

Oh, yeah.

Well, you don't get- Or you know what I hate too is when comics go- I go, you got married? And they go, yeah, like last year. How many people, Kate? Like 500. And I go, I've helped you. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're shocked. I'm shocked. Like, dude, I helped your career. I'm because, yeah, it's because of me. I wouldn't go, but I want the invitation. You know what I mean?

Coarsely invite you, whatever it says. Why do you want the invitation? You're never going to go. I've gone to a couple. Whose wedding did you go to? Sebastian Maniscalco and Dr. Ken Jeong.

If you're living in Scotland, go to London. If you're living in somewhere else, go to Scotland.

It's not good, dude. Oh my God. Okay, dude. It's dry skin. It's disgusting, dude. It's what fucking Jeremiah Watkins gets. All over his body.

Yeah, dude.

Yeah.

Dude, your butthole is so ugly.

It's just one of the ugliest buttholes I've ever seen.

Yeah, two. Part two is my favorite one. Look who's talking part two.

Look this up. I'm not kidding.

wow yeah yeah it was a very enjoyable thing so you'll go back i'm gonna go back next sunday yeah with jules and dumbfounded and gene and also andrea jen look at that you look good and i'm gonna dress i'm gonna we're gonna dress as and i'm gonna get your dress as peasants but but asian peasants so my fantasy is this wait that's not asian peasants whatever you did before

Anyway, thank you for being a bad friend.

No, that was an Asian pencil. Who's that? Who's that woman? That's Brittany, the girl I was with. Carlos, stop creeping. Yeah, stop creeping. Carlos, stop creeping, dude. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Okay. So, no, I'm going to drug. I was a bird. Okay, okay. Okay. You want to communicate? Yeah. Okay. Dude, that's a connection we'll always experience for the rest of our lives.

So what I'm going to say to you is that we're dressed as Japanese rice farmers from the 17th century. And our little canoe got lost. And we ended up in the shores of this English countryside. And we end up at Renaissance Ferry. We'll have samurai swords. And I'm going to wear the little rice paddy hats. And we're going to get you a dress. You know what I mean?

okay okay well unless you want to well unless you want to dress how would you like to dress like the elves okay kind of dress like the philippines don't have drought well elves i mean yeah we do yeah yeah those are called um crickets those are filipino crickets dude they're not elves what does it say in your sweater oh is that a filipino cricket Or elf.

Yeah, dude. This is the Andrew I like. We got you, Jules. So did you go egg hunting? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you did. Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was in those little eggs, huh? A little bit of money. Really? Chocolate. Yeah, you and your buddies, huh? Charlie Day, Jason Bateman. You bring these names that aren't relevant at all. Hollywood.

I have no idea. You're fancy friends. Yeah. Allison Janney. Yeah, of course. Bradley Whitford. The whole cast of West Wing. Bradley Whitford. Bradley Cooper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bradley Cooper. No, Bradley Whitford.

Yeah, but you know, I'm a forgiving man. You really are. It was really hard to buy him a wand. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I pondered over it for like an hour looking at it. Be honest. Yeah, two hours. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I went, you know what? He deserves a wand. He does. Yes. Thanks, Bob. So, you know, when Voldemort or the Jews attack. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

good boy maybe I regret getting that from McCone but yeah he's going hog wild with it but it is a beautiful thing if you ever would you ever go no you should go with us shut up yeah why wouldn't you go though It's so... I laughed the whole time. Okay, how about this?

I'll go with you. Four hours? I'll go with you. No, you won't.

Yes, I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You won't go to a Lakers game. I love it. If I'm sitting next to fucking Jack Nicholson, I'll do it. He's dead. No.

Yeah. But I laughed so hard. Like, you know, there was a play. Hi, I can't get into it because it's getting in trouble. No, come on, please. Well, years ago I was on a game show and it was with Rob Gronkowski in that game show called Game On.

Right. And there was like. It was terrible. It was terrible. Anyway. Bad TV. So I did a joke. Happy Easter. The producers came up to me and they go, we have to cut that out. I go, why? What did you say? He goes, it was racist.

Wait a minute. Yeah, but those, but these three though, special kind. You know what I mean?

Did you?

But I. Georgie. When I kiss somebody, I want to be like them.

Where it's like. They want you to be like them. The magic. Yeah.

The magic, the spark, you know? And that's what I'm waiting for.

Remember this? That was so funny.

We were going somewhere and Abby and- Do you guys remember this? Who was with us? No, Abby and her mom was there. Yeah. And then, I don't know. I think I started the conversation with them first. There she is. There's Abby. And she was so sweet. What? Wood.

Would?

What would you do first, Carlos?

put on a disney plus that's good yeah that's good smart right you know what i do get her some dolphin stickers love put some around the room love and she'll go yay or whatever you know what i mean and then what else that's good yeah yeah yeah jules jules do you watch that show no you don't see love on the spectrum you don't watch that no what are you watching right now white lotus

No, she didn't watch that.

Is there love on the spectrum in the Philippines? Imagine that.

Yeah. They're drowning in a pool. You want to climb this tree? You want to climb this tree with me? I'm kidding. I don't like Last of Us because of the mushroom zombies.

I have an intro that I prepared.