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Bad Friends

He's a Rat!

01 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 21.674 Unknown

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. Finally, I saw an eye doctor today. What did the doc say? We took a bunch of tests. Yeah, like what, like A, B, F, Q? No, he said there was one word called hovum. Hovum, yeah.

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Chapter 2: What happened during the eye doctor's visit?

21.694 - 41.783 Unknown

Yeah, yeah. He goes, what does that say? There, it said hotovuv. Yeah, hotovuv, yeah, yeah. And I go, I'm blagmin. I'm blagmin. Yeah, yeah, and he goes, that's way off, right? Both eyes. Then he scanned the interterial of where all the like- That's only an Asian thing. Cells. That's only an Asian thing. Yeah, I know. They don't have to do that for us. You know what the cells are? They're squinty.

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42.202 - 58.9 Unknown

The cells were squinty, dude. Even the cells under microscope are squinting around. Oh, what are we doing? Wait, get that test up and let me see if we can do it. Ready, Bob? Yeah. I already know. Okay. Okay. Well, that's not. Do the other one you just had. There it is. This one. Okay. What are you going to do? No, I want to. Well, I'm closer. Your eyes are way better than mine.

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58.94 - 63.525 Unknown

No, I just want to see what line you can get down to. So the first. From here. No, one, two, and three are fine.

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Chapter 3: How does the discussion shift to health and wellness?

63.545 - 93.787 Unknown

Do the fourth line. Fourth line down. T-H-V-O-H-T-O-V. Next one. Here we go. H-V-T-O-T-V-H-V-T-O. Great, next one. Now I'm done. Q-2-N. No, Q-O. It's O again. I mean, the letters are the same in every single one. Oh, okay. My point is, is that... And the bottom one, can you do that one? I can't do the bottom one. V-O-T-H-T-O. Wow. Wow. That one's teeny tiny from here.

0

94.468 - 116.85 Unknown

But the doctor said, you have- You have long distance. He's got little Asian eyes. I love that song. You have long distance. And he goes, I want to show you something. It's a miracle. And I go, what is it? He goes, walk outside with me. So he was Asian, by the way. He's like, can I get a picture? He was Asian, by the way. And he goes, look over there. What do you see? I go, I don't know, nothing.

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117.911 - 144.303 Unknown

And he put these glasses on me. I go- Like, literally, I saw nothing, and he put the glasses on. This is across the street. I saw trees. You act like this is crazy science. It's just glasses. I know, but I've never had them before. And then... This is like when babies get cochlear implants. I know. And they can hear... So what I'm saying is that... 19... What is that?

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144.643 - 156.978 Unknown

Glasses were invented in 1268. They've been around. I know. I haven't caught up yet. Okay. But when you... Because I'm... Dude, since the 13th century, we've had glasses.

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Chapter 4: What humorous insights are shared about cruises?

156.998 - 172.953 Unknown

I know, I know. There's an Asian guy wearing them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've been wearing them for years. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. So I'm getting, I don't know what they're called, but I'm getting the distance one. Oh, you know, all my cool glasses I wear. Yeah. I'm getting both lenses. Prescriptions. Yeah.

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172.994 - 193.779 Unknown

The top is going to be long distance and the bottom is going to be so I can read up front. Yeah. Oh, so you really, you'll be data. You'll be actually be data. I'll be data. But it's so funny. After I took the glasses off, everything seemed blurry. So right now everything seems blurry. So maybe I can't see. Well, did they do the drops in your eyes? No. Wait, don't they do that?

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194.339 - 213.063 Unknown

They dilate your eyes? Dude, let me just say something to you because I'm not in the best mood and I'd like to say something to everyone, not you, to this theory, okay? I don't do drop eye. Okay? I went to- You have drop eye. I have drop eye. You don't do drop eye. I don't do drop eye. I have drop eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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213.184 - 214.625 Andrew Santino

So why can't you read them?

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214.646 - 234.241 Unknown

No, I'm saying- Dude, you take it. You know what? Unbutton one more button. Yeah, yeah. Unbutton one more button. Unbutton one more, you little porgy. With a didgeridoo shirt. I don't know what to call it. That's a didgeridoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, let me just say something. Why don't you unbutton one more button? All right.

234.341 - 260.569 Unknown

So I went to, I called my assistant and I said, I don't want, I want future shit. Oh, yeah, yeah. So they had me in a lab with machinery. Yeah. And you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Give me what NASA does. Yeah, that's what NASA did. So they were able to see the interior of my eye, the actual thing. And guess what? He goes, your eyesight is going to be fine until your 80s.

260.589 - 279.536 Unknown

Because you have good eyes. Yeah, he says, he asked me some genetic questions. There's no blindness. Does your mom have glasses? No. My dad did, though. Right. And my brother does. Steve does? Yeah, he does. Yeah, because he caught it early. Yeah, once you catch it early. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so now what I'm going to do is I'm going to do everything with glasses on. Even make love.

280.418 - 285.107 Unknown

You have to have them. Yeah, because I don't think I've seen it right. Right. Yeah, everything's been blurry.

285.127 - 286.69 Andrew Santino

That's what all your confusion is.

Chapter 5: What are the challenges of being a tour manager?

1795.689 - 1812.05 Unknown

That's where it's supposed to go. Right? Because if, you know what I mean? You don't want them to taste it. No. Right? But you want them to smell it. Yeah. Right, right? They want the aura. Right. The aura. Yeah. And then, wait, I've got to, One on the neck.

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Chapter 6: How do comedic bits impact relationships among friends?

1812.07 - 1812.57 Unknown

One on the neck.

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1812.751 - 1814.332 Carlos

That was zesty, that last one.

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1814.453 - 1817.095 Unknown

Yeah, yeah. And that's it. That's it. What do you do?

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1817.856 - 1819.758 Carlos

I do this.

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1819.779 - 1820.639 Unknown

Two sprays. And that's it?

1820.82 - 1821.38 Carlos

Yeah, that's it.

1821.5 - 1821.801 Unknown

No, no.

1822.141 - 1823.723 Fancy

But that's what I, because I don't want to overpower.

1823.763 - 1824.223 Unknown

Carlos, you now?

Chapter 7: What is the significance of honesty in friendships?

1827.667 - 1828.288 Fancy

Maybe I should.

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1828.508 - 1847.703 Unknown

Spray some in your mouth too, because that thing, what are you, a dragon? Like what temple are you trying to burn down? It's the natural one. I mean, it's so smelly. It's the natural one from Erewhon and I don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do more. Whatever. I'll give you the money. What do you think? Please eat food. Yeah. You're not eating. McCone has commented multiple times.

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Chapter 8: How do personal dynamics affect working relationships?

1847.743 - 1855.216 Unknown

Sometimes you'll skip an entire day of meals. It smells like a vegetarian. I skip sitting. Don't do that. This is another thing he does on the road.

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1855.436 - 1856.398 Fancy

I didn't eat.

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1856.498 - 1864.271 Unknown

We haven't eaten all day. I'll have four lettuces, one crouton, and half a shrimp. It's like, order a steak. Have a meal.

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1864.371 - 1865.714 Fancy

But you said I'm handsome earlier.

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1865.994 - 1874.067 Unknown

That has nothing to do with the food. You need to eat for nutrition. It's fucking up your breath. Yeah, it is. Your body's gonna kill you.

1874.167 - 1876.029 Fancy

Yeah, but you can just have smoothies too.

1876.049 - 1877.73 Unknown

No, you can't just eat smoothies.

1877.75 - 1887.419 Fancy

You can't just eat smoothies. I've been eating avocado toast and smoothies for a whole year and nothing else. Oh my God. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. And nuggets. You look like shit.

1887.68 - 1903.835 Unknown

Give me the guy, give me, yeah, and then McDonald's. Yeah. Give me the guy that does the cologne tutorials. He does like on YouTube, he sprays like, he says like a hundred sprays. That's what he does. Yeah, that's good. They do a hundred sprays. I'd rather have that than whatever he has, this dragon. This guy... Here's cologne the right way.

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