Fergus Farrell

I can't change that, unfortunately.

So I ended up not wanting to be here.

Seven weeks after walking out the doors of the NRH, after being told, you know, it's not possible.

So people on the outside seeing this person who was beaten, impossible.

But behind it all, I was wearing that mask and I was struggling behind it.

The business was failing.

My marriage was failing.

My poor kids, because I've been away from them so long, you know, hadn't a really great connection with them, especially my six-month-old son.

From October, about seven months.

Yeah, seven months.

But then obviously I got home and I was only home for a short period of time and unfortunately I had to move out of the house.

So there's more than just the seven months.

And ultimately, I didn't want to be here for a period of time.

And thankfully a relationship saved me in that moment.

But when I went into the psychiatric ward, I got that time to declutter what was going on in my head because I had peace, I had quietness, I had no phones, no technology, nothing around me.

And I just said to myself, if I don't sort out myself right now and figure out what's going on in my head, I'm going to be back in here again in a month's time.

So I took that time out and I really dug deep to find out what's going on in my life.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, look, I know the power of the mind now when it's very positive what I can do and I know the power of the mind when it's very negative what I can do as well in a very short period of time.

And I didn't believe in any of this.