Fern
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
So I just do what my dad did.
I get drunk and beat the shit out of her.
Guys, believe it or not, I was actually born prematurely.
The other day, I was out in public with my dog, and it took a shit, and I didn't have a bag.
And I did that move, you know, and I was like, man, is this what white guilt feels like?
Having to make excuses for animals.
All right, you're gonna love this next one.
I've been really working on this impression.
Here, I'm gonna hit you with it.
They look like a skinny Mexican.
And they talk like a ho-yo-yo-yo, ho-yo-yo-yo.
Yo, that's the Japanese seeing the Navajo Code Talkers for the first time.
Um, before I was a dad, I was a drug addict, and I thought I was gonna be a terrible father.
So I found out that being a drug addict and being a dad, Zags ain't fucking life.
I'll end it at that, because this goes pretty deep.