Fr. Seán ÓLaoire

but rather the fear of being unlovable.

And it happens around the age of about seven months, I believe, that the little baby is born and it's locked in this, what psychology would call, the mother-child complex.

The child does not realize there are two of us.

There's only one of us and I'm in charge.

When I'm hungry, I scream and a breast appears.

When I'm cold, somebody cuddles me, you know, according to my needs.

And so about the age of seven months, the child suddenly realizes, oh my God,

There are two of us and all the powers on the other side.

She can leave me.

I can't leave her.

And so I now develop all these kinds of defense mechanisms to try to level the playing field.

So for some kids, they'll be really cuddly and loving and smiling.

So mammy and daddy will love me.

Or for others, I'll scream my head off and force them back into the room to take care of me.

And so we developed these defense mechanisms very, very early on.

So now, you know, we're identified with an ego.

And at this stage now, it's about me looking after what my needs are.

And so I'm going to develop my fear will morph into anger at others and selfishness, you know, and rage sometimes.

And then I begin to project that onto not just mother and father, but brothers and sisters, and the extended community, and then finally to the world community.

And so at that stage then, we see everybody else as kind of competitors for the little amount of love which is available in the world.