Frances Cook

How much are we aware of these things?

Like, do we tend to know on some level what our unbearable feeling is or does it sit quite deep?

Super interesting.

Okay, so if you're sort of listening to this and thinking, oh, I don't know what my unbearable feeling is, you might start with something like, okay, I know this causes me problems and you might sort of start excavating on what's causing that, why am I doing it?

And that could lead you to your unbearable feeling?

I would like my brain surgeon to be a perfectionist, please.

That's so interesting because I so agree.

I hadn't attached it to the framework that you were describing.

This framework is new to me.

But I had on some level twigged to it with, you know, I've been very lucky to get to know some very successful people in various forms.

And some people who I've got to know as friends who I originally was sort of like, oh, my gosh, they're this amazing person on a pedestal.

You get to know them and it's like, oh, they're just a person.

And a lovely person who I really like, don't get me wrong, but just a person.

And so many very successful people that I've met have a part of themselves that is deeply dysfunctional.

And it is often the same thing that makes them very successful.

And I don't think it's necessarily the...

the broken artist sort of trope, right?

But I think it's true what you're saying about there is a good and a bad side to a lot of things and it's learning to control the bad side and lean into the good is really powerful for life, right?

Do you find, you must see people getting caught in loops almost.

So many people message me and say, I know what I should be doing with my money.