Freya Evans

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah, so I can't find the photo because I've got no signal. That's okay. You can send it later. I will send it later. You're going to be shocked. I can't wait to see it. As in, I could tell people that I was a successful trans story.

Yeah, so I can't find the photo because I've got no signal. That's okay. You can send it later. I will send it later. You're going to be shocked. I can't wait to see it. As in, I could tell people that I was a successful trans story.

I looked so much like a boy. Wow. I could fool anyone. For sure. I really like... I used to get... Every day. It was like little boy or like, you know, not even as an insult, but being like he, him, you know. That's cute. Fair. Really, really cute. Right. And but definitely not gay. Right. I love not me.

I looked so much like a boy. Wow. I could fool anyone. For sure. I really like... I used to get... Every day. It was like little boy or like, you know, not even as an insult, but being like he, him, you know. That's cute. Fair. Really, really cute. Right. And but definitely not gay. Right. I love not me.

No, my skateboard, my BMX, my jorts, my mullet, my Nirvana T-shirt, my converse, like all of it. Right. So then and then like puberty here. And I was like, oh, maybe I do want to wear my sister's lip gloss afterwards. And maybe I do want to steal their clothes and I'm just going to do that. And then as I went into like the teenage years, I was like so crazy.

No, my skateboard, my BMX, my jorts, my mullet, my Nirvana T-shirt, my converse, like all of it. Right. So then and then like puberty here. And I was like, oh, maybe I do want to wear my sister's lip gloss afterwards. And maybe I do want to steal their clothes and I'm just going to do that. And then as I went into like the teenage years, I was like so crazy.

And now I look back at the crazy and I'm like, well, obviously this is why you went crazy, Freya, because I would go out all the time, go and get drunk so I can make out with girls.

And now I look back at the crazy and I'm like, well, obviously this is why you went crazy, Freya, because I would go out all the time, go and get drunk so I can make out with girls.

Yeah. So horny teenager. You want to just drink everything. And obviously in the UK we can drink at 18 here. So naturally you drink from the age of 14. Holy shit. And you're just having fun, sleeping with your best mates who say that they're straight and have a boyfriend. This is great. Yeah, and then I, like, throughout all of this, like, time, I became, like, so insecure.

Yeah. So horny teenager. You want to just drink everything. And obviously in the UK we can drink at 18 here. So naturally you drink from the age of 14. Holy shit. And you're just having fun, sleeping with your best mates who say that they're straight and have a boyfriend. This is great. Yeah, and then I, like, throughout all of this, like, time, I became, like, so insecure.

I, like, went out and I studied in Brighton specifically because I thought there'd be lesbians there and there were no lesbians. Shit. We were just there.

I, like, went out and I studied in Brighton specifically because I thought there'd be lesbians there and there were no lesbians. Shit. We were just there.

I did. Of course we did.

I did. Of course we did.

It was soaking wet down there. Yeah. Yeah. Go on, Dyke Dan. I absolutely love it there. Splashing all over the roads and everything in the course of days. Exactly.

It was soaking wet down there. Yeah. Yeah. Go on, Dyke Dan. I absolutely love it there. Splashing all over the roads and everything in the course of days. Exactly.

So like back then was like a different time, right? And so I was like, well, this is great. Yeah. There's no lesbians here. So I got myself a boyfriend who sucked. Of course. But of course he did. And at the time then, I finished studying there, moved back home. And at this point, I was like really insecure with who I was. I think I like ate all of my feelings, drunk all of my feelings.

So like back then was like a different time, right? And so I was like, well, this is great. Yeah. There's no lesbians here. So I got myself a boyfriend who sucked. Of course. But of course he did. And at the time then, I finished studying there, moved back home. And at this point, I was like really insecure with who I was. I think I like ate all of my feelings, drunk all of my feelings.

I became like morbidly obese. So I put myself on a very strict diet. And as I was doing this, I started talking to this girl that was online. And then that's how it all kind of like came to fruition. Because like, I think I was just like, how crazy would it be if I was gay? That would never happen. how crazy would it be if this was the truth, you know? And like, but I'm like, no, this is wild.

I became like morbidly obese. So I put myself on a very strict diet. And as I was doing this, I started talking to this girl that was online. And then that's how it all kind of like came to fruition. Because like, I think I was just like, how crazy would it be if I was gay? That would never happen. how crazy would it be if this was the truth, you know? And like, but I'm like, no, this is wild.

That could never be the case. I was like, I couldn't be gay. Like, there's no way. It's interesting that in your mind, you were like, this isn't even an option. No way. No. And like, also my older sister is gay. So you grew up seeing it already. So my mom tried to hide it as much as possible. Got it. Oh, my God. Yeah. My sister is seven years older than me. She's a gold star lesbo. Wow.

That could never be the case. I was like, I couldn't be gay. Like, there's no way. It's interesting that in your mind, you were like, this isn't even an option. No way. No. And like, also my older sister is gay. So you grew up seeing it already. So my mom tried to hide it as much as possible. Got it. Oh, my God. Yeah. My sister is seven years older than me. She's a gold star lesbo. Wow.

She came out when she was 16. Yeah. When I say came out, my mom found a MySpace page that she had created this forum for gay men. It's like an agony art.

She came out when she was 16. Yeah. When I say came out, my mom found a MySpace page that she had created this forum for gay men. It's like an agony art.

the gay men my mom went on the on the family computer found it was like you're all disgusting and then went downstairs and like literally went to town like my sister bless her 16 yeah you know and um so she was like don't tell don't tell Freya and that was like years but then I kind of clocked it I remember being like 12 and being like I was Rebecca your girlfriend and she was like yeah and I was like she was like you don't mind I was like why would I you know just whatever and then you wrote off on your skateboard

the gay men my mom went on the on the family computer found it was like you're all disgusting and then went downstairs and like literally went to town like my sister bless her 16 yeah you know and um so she was like don't tell don't tell Freya and that was like years but then I kind of clocked it I remember being like 12 and being like I was Rebecca your girlfriend and she was like yeah and I was like she was like you don't mind I was like why would I you know just whatever and then you wrote off on your skateboard

And that was the thing. I was just like, well, there's already a gay. Statistically, there's three of us. Why have I got to be the other one? Why can't Lauren, the middle one, why can't she be a fucking lesbian? And is she? Did she turn out to be?

And that was the thing. I was just like, well, there's already a gay. Statistically, there's three of us. Why have I got to be the other one? Why can't Lauren, the middle one, why can't she be a fucking lesbian? And is she? Did she turn out to be?

Life is long and we only get gayer. So that's fine. She's always got time to repent. Yeah. And so I then, yeah, I was like struggling with all of that for so long. I was like, don't you dare.

Life is long and we only get gayer. So that's fine. She's always got time to repent. Yeah. And so I then, yeah, I was like struggling with all of that for so long. I was like, don't you dare.

Because also another reason for me wanting to lose weight was because I didn't want to come out when I was like morbidly obese in biker jackets, red hair, lip piercing and being like, everyone's going to be like, you just can't get a man and that's why you're gay. Isn't that so annoying? It's so fucking annoying.

Because also another reason for me wanting to lose weight was because I didn't want to come out when I was like morbidly obese in biker jackets, red hair, lip piercing and being like, everyone's going to be like, you just can't get a man and that's why you're gay. Isn't that so annoying? It's so fucking annoying.

Of the straight women to say, you can't get a man because of the way you look. And you're like, have you seen you? What the fuck, dude? Hello. Janet, in the fucking corner, has got no teeth between her and her other mate.

Of the straight women to say, you can't get a man because of the way you look. And you're like, have you seen you? What the fuck, dude? Hello. Janet, in the fucking corner, has got no teeth between her and her other mate.

Oh my God, Kelly Clarkson. Can we just go back to score? Yes, we can. And the wig.

Oh my God, Kelly Clarkson. Can we just go back to score? Yes, we can. And the wig.

Big headed.

Big headed.

Yeah. Get a fucking grip. That's what I'm saying. Get a grip. You and your boyfriend can get the fuck out of here. Yeah. You and your ugly little boyfriend. That's right. No, I hate it. I can't stand it.

Yeah. Get a fucking grip. That's what I'm saying. Get a grip. You and your boyfriend can get the fuck out of here. Yeah. You and your ugly little boyfriend. That's right. No, I hate it. I can't stand it.

Because it's also like, bitch, if I liked you, you would have known. Yeah. Because I've got game. Yes. Do you have game? No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying for all of us in general.

Because it's also like, bitch, if I liked you, you would have known. Yeah. Because I've got game. Yes. Do you have game? No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying for all of us in general.

How do you hit on a woman?

How do you hit on a woman?

How do I flirt? Right. How do you answer that question? Like, I've always said the same thing is that it's just like being so confident. Don't be afraid to say something fucking stupid because that's also pretty adorable.

How do I flirt? Right. How do you answer that question? Like, I've always said the same thing is that it's just like being so confident. Don't be afraid to say something fucking stupid because that's also pretty adorable.

right it's adorable when it's done in the right way yeah um and i think that just being honest as well like because i always think that girls girls are always saying how they actually know that i'm hitting on them though oh right yeah and it's like they know because the energy is different like the way that i speak to a woman that i'm like trying to hit on versus a woman that i'm just complimenting is so incredibly different because i compliment women all the time right right never men

right it's adorable when it's done in the right way yeah um and i think that just being honest as well like because i always think that girls girls are always saying how they actually know that i'm hitting on them though oh right yeah and it's like they know because the energy is different like the way that i speak to a woman that i'm like trying to hit on versus a woman that i'm just complimenting is so incredibly different because i compliment women all the time right right never men

Well, no. I don't even notice a man. Well, I haven't talked to a man in a while. No. I don't want to. Thank you. I'm on like a hundred day streak. Like Duolingo. Yes. And like if I speak to a man, I've got a fucking... Stop.

Well, no. I don't even notice a man. Well, I haven't talked to a man in a while. No. I don't want to. Thank you. I'm on like a hundred day streak. Like Duolingo. Yes. And like if I speak to a man, I've got a fucking... Stop.

That's huge. I'm almost at a hundred. It's going really well. Do you know that I ignored every single man walking here? He was like, have a nice day. And I was like... I just kind of just go like... Well, it's almost like I'm almost at 100. Get the fuck out of here. But then you can't even say that, right? Because then you'll hear it. Exactly. So you just go... It's tough. Yeah. Just this.

That's huge. I'm almost at a hundred. It's going really well. Do you know that I ignored every single man walking here? He was like, have a nice day. And I was like... I just kind of just go like... Well, it's almost like I'm almost at 100. Get the fuck out of here. But then you can't even say that, right? Because then you'll hear it. Exactly. So you just go... It's tough. Yeah. Just this.

Talk to the hand. This works. Sorry, so what were we talking about? I missed that. Oh, flirting.

Talk to the hand. This works. Sorry, so what were we talking about? I missed that. Oh, flirting.

Yeah, be really confident, but not cocky. There's like such a fine line, right, between being an arsehole and just being confident. And people love talking about themselves. They sure do. Give them the questions, baby. Yeah. Get them to open up. Get them to give you a life story. That is very gay. Yes, that is actually. Go on, tell me everything. Get deep on day one. Yeah, where's your trauma?

Yeah, be really confident, but not cocky. There's like such a fine line, right, between being an arsehole and just being confident. And people love talking about themselves. They sure do. Give them the questions, baby. Yeah. Get them to open up. Get them to give you a life story. That is very gay. Yes, that is actually. Go on, tell me everything. Get deep on day one. Yeah, where's your trauma?

Way too deep.

Way too deep.

And then you also see from their body language instantly if that is a green light or a red light. Like if you're touching, it's just like basic human psychology, right? And it's like if you touch someone's arm and like, give me your arm. So if I were to like go like that, say, and then you were to just like put it away. So we're like talking, but you kind of like edge it away a little bit.

And then you also see from their body language instantly if that is a green light or a red light. Like if you're touching, it's just like basic human psychology, right? And it's like if you touch someone's arm and like, give me your arm. So if I were to like go like that, say, and then you were to just like put it away. So we're like talking, but you kind of like edge it away a little bit.

It just, it's just like a very subtle hint.

It just, it's just like a very subtle hint.

So it's like if you then like say you're like talking to them and then you kind of like go into their arms. Sometimes they'll actually like if you can really if you can crack the code, they kind of lean into it just ever so slightly. Like it's not even a conscious thing. So that's also really important. And then just ask if you can get them a drink.

So it's like if you then like say you're like talking to them and then you kind of like go into their arms. Sometimes they'll actually like if you can really if you can crack the code, they kind of lean into it just ever so slightly. Like it's not even a conscious thing. So that's also really important. And then just ask if you can get them a drink.

I always say like make sure it's just in a place where there's alcohol. Yeah. Smart. Easy. This is beautiful.

I always say like make sure it's just in a place where there's alcohol. Yeah. Smart. Easy. This is beautiful.

Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. Yes.

I think it's Weisz. Weisz. Yeah. Adel Weisz. Rachel Weisz. Weisz. Either way. Fuck it. We don't care. I do think it is both. Elizabeth Hurley. Elizabeth Hurley. Unbelievable.

I think it's Weisz. Weisz. Yeah. Adel Weisz. Rachel Weisz. Weisz. Either way. Fuck it. We don't care. I do think it is both. Elizabeth Hurley. Elizabeth Hurley. Unbelievable.

Oh, Angelina Jolie. Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider. Fascinating. When I tell you I watched that time and time again, do you know a really rogue one? Do you remember Aqua, the band?

Oh, Angelina Jolie. Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider. Fascinating. When I tell you I watched that time and time again, do you know a really rogue one? Do you remember Aqua, the band?

Aqua. Aqua's coming and it's like... I can say, look towards the light. It's gone. You go like this.

Aqua. Aqua's coming and it's like... I can say, look towards the light. It's gone. You go like this.

Did you lose the sneeze? That's so annoying.

Did you lose the sneeze? That's so annoying.

That's almost as bad as when you're about to cum and then you don't. Like, that's the same feeling.

That's almost as bad as when you're about to cum and then you don't. Like, that's the same feeling.

And that sucks. So it's Angelina Jolie. And then we're on the band Aqua. Okay. Okay, so we're on the band Aqua. So I watched their documentary. I had like a tape, like the VHS tape of their documentary, which I would watch every single day for the lead singer. Wait, I have to look at this lead singer. Okay, have you guys ever seen the Dr. Jones, Jones, Collins, that's a Jones. Oh, hold on.

And that sucks. So it's Angelina Jolie. And then we're on the band Aqua. Okay. Okay, so we're on the band Aqua. So I watched their documentary. I had like a tape, like the VHS tape of their documentary, which I would watch every single day for the lead singer. Wait, I have to look at this lead singer. Okay, have you guys ever seen the Dr. Jones, Jones, Collins, that's a Jones. Oh, hold on.

Aqua band? Hold on. Dr. Jones. Lead singer. Yeah. Okay, it's this one specifically. It's her dressed in this Tarzan bikini. Oh, she's cute.

Aqua band? Hold on. Dr. Jones. Lead singer. Yeah. Okay, it's this one specifically. It's her dressed in this Tarzan bikini. Oh, she's cute.

Hold on, you kind of need to see it when she was, what, what have you got there? Hold on. Don't be doing me dirty.

Hold on, you kind of need to see it when she was, what, what have you got there? Hold on. Don't be doing me dirty.

please they're under a waterfall yeah i know the music video still yeah so you can see here she's in like a camo she's in like a camo t-shirt and she's she's got the job i like that and i remember just watching that as a kid and being like i why do i like this so much i'm having the best time super hot there's a lot happening there that is working for me and it's working for me still 100 yeah have we found her have you met her before

please they're under a waterfall yeah i know the music video still yeah so you can see here she's in like a camo she's in like a camo t-shirt and she's she's got the job i like that and i remember just watching that as a kid and being like i why do i like this so much i'm having the best time super hot there's a lot happening there that is working for me and it's working for me still 100 yeah have we found her have you met her before

So I'm dying to meet her. You have to. I have to get her on the podcast. You have to. I haven't even reached out yet because I'm too nervous. Don't be nervous. I feel like we've asked a couple people on the pod that we like.

So I'm dying to meet her. You have to. I have to get her on the podcast. You have to. I haven't even reached out yet because I'm too nervous. Don't be nervous. I feel like we've asked a couple people on the pod that we like.

And then when they show up and we're like, I'm just like sweating the whole time. I'm going to ask every woman that I've ever fancied in my life to come on the podcast. And then I'm going to flirt with them really aggressively.

And then when they show up and we're like, I'm just like sweating the whole time. I'm going to ask every woman that I've ever fancied in my life to come on the podcast. And then I'm going to flirt with them really aggressively.

This is a really good call out. I feel like they're really going to want to come on now.

This is a really good call out. I feel like they're really going to want to come on now.

Yeah, true. And I also miss Honey from Matilda. Oh, that's a good one. That's Rachel's. Yeah, that's a whole generation, I think, of queer people. All of us. I actually think that's universal. For sure. I had just so many. I don't know if there were any specific British ones, to be honest. And thank you so much for saying that we churn out some good ones.

Yeah, true. And I also miss Honey from Matilda. Oh, that's a good one. That's Rachel's. Yeah, that's a whole generation, I think, of queer people. All of us. I actually think that's universal. For sure. I had just so many. I don't know if there were any specific British ones, to be honest. And thank you so much for saying that we churn out some good ones.

I had no idea because the cliche is that they're not.

I had no idea because the cliche is that they're not.

Okay. And I think also we have a bit of a thing. Like, I feel like from people from America, they think that we're going to smell bad and that we're going to have bad teeth. Interesting. And we only have one of those things. And which one is it? It is the teeth. Okay.

Okay. And I think also we have a bit of a thing. Like, I feel like from people from America, they think that we're going to smell bad and that we're going to have bad teeth. Interesting. And we only have one of those things. And which one is it? It is the teeth. Okay.

Full veneers. Yeah, they're full veneers.

Full veneers. Yeah, they're full veneers.

Probably.

Probably.

Well, the old school thing was that it was just all wonky.

Well, the old school thing was that it was just all wonky.

That's what I like.

That's what I like.

Just bring back wonky teeth. I love that shit. It's like that girl in White Lotus, one of our amazing girls, and I love her teeth. Without those teeth, how is she able to convey all of that emotion? I feel like her teeth convey so much emotion for her. She's a legend. I love her teeth. You must know how many times people and casting directors would have been like, fix your fucking teeth. Right.

Just bring back wonky teeth. I love that shit. It's like that girl in White Lotus, one of our amazing girls, and I love her teeth. Without those teeth, how is she able to convey all of that emotion? I feel like her teeth convey so much emotion for her. She's a legend. I love her teeth. You must know how many times people and casting directors would have been like, fix your fucking teeth. Right.

Thank God she didn't. Thank God she didn't. Because she's standing out because of them. Everyone's obsessed with her. It's actually really funny because Scarlett has a snaggle tooth and that was what interested me. I was like, you're really hot. I was like, I really love this snaggle tooth. How far back is it? Or is it right in the front? Oh, it's this one.

Thank God she didn't. Thank God she didn't. Because she's standing out because of them. Everyone's obsessed with her. It's actually really funny because Scarlett has a snaggle tooth and that was what interested me. I was like, you're really hot. I was like, I really love this snaggle tooth. How far back is it? Or is it right in the front? Oh, it's this one.

Yeah, so just kind of like, just a little bit over. And I thought, that's really cute. It's kind of like giving you a lot of allowances to get away with a lot of shit. And I then see that little snaggle tooth pop out. I'm like, that's really cute. So that went from snaggle to then, like snaggle puss to scraggles.

Yeah, so just kind of like, just a little bit over. And I thought, that's really cute. It's kind of like giving you a lot of allowances to get away with a lot of shit. And I then see that little snaggle tooth pop out. I'm like, that's really cute. So that went from snaggle to then, like snaggle puss to scraggles.

So now I ended up just calling her scraggs for the rest of our relationship because of that. But it was just... That's really cute.

So now I ended up just calling her scraggs for the rest of our relationship because of that. But it was just... That's really cute.

No, you know what? It makes it a bit sick. Are you worried about it? I couldn't do it. At this age, no. Not at this age. Not at my grand age.

No, you know what? It makes it a bit sick. Are you worried about it? I couldn't do it. At this age, no. Not at this age. Not at my grand age.

Oh, what have you done?

Oh, what have you done?

How many children? One and grown adults. She did say that she doesn't like adults with braces.

How many children? One and grown adults. She did say that she doesn't like adults with braces.

All women are beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah. English ain't my first language. Yeah. All women are beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. But the braces do send me west a little bit because I think about food getting stuck in it and then that makes me feel really sick. And then I think, I don't want to do that. Especially imagine if they got the little elastic bands. I'm into it. Do you know what?

All women are beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah. English ain't my first language. Yeah. All women are beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. But the braces do send me west a little bit because I think about food getting stuck in it and then that makes me feel really sick. And then I think, I don't want to do that. Especially imagine if they got the little elastic bands. I'm into it. Do you know what?

Maybe it's your kink. We've all got one, honey. We all have our things. I'm not going to shame you. I'm glad that you're into it.

Maybe it's your kink. We've all got one, honey. We all have our things. I'm not going to shame you. I'm glad that you're into it.

yeah wait what what are you into so i don't know if i have one right and and you know what's really scary about that is that i know that everyone has one so you would just haven't found it yet so that means must be something pretty crazy fucking fucked up yeah are you trying to find it or are you like it'll find me it'll find me i think i wonder if you don't know if somebody's whatever you're naturally doing somebody else would be like that's insane maybe you know your signature move that you always have yeah i wonder if it matches i love a good squirt like a good squirter of

yeah wait what what are you into so i don't know if i have one right and and you know what's really scary about that is that i know that everyone has one so you would just haven't found it yet so that means must be something pretty crazy fucking fucked up yeah are you trying to find it or are you like it'll find me it'll find me i think i wonder if you don't know if somebody's whatever you're naturally doing somebody else would be like that's insane maybe you know your signature move that you always have yeah i wonder if it matches i love a good squirt like a good squirter of

course so is that a king it feels like it could definitely be okay and i fuck hard with that that's great that's like a good skin of mine yeah i'm like just like the there's something i don't know what it is like you're a savant at it i'm a savant yeah what a beautiful skill to have God, I know. It's part of the ADHD, I reckon. Do you think that you, can you squirt? So like very rarely. Yeah.

course so is that a king it feels like it could definitely be okay and i fuck hard with that that's great that's like a good skin of mine yeah i'm like just like the there's something i don't know what it is like you're a savant at it i'm a savant yeah what a beautiful skill to have God, I know. It's part of the ADHD, I reckon. Do you think that you, can you squirt? So like very rarely. Yeah.

Very rarely. But for some reason, I just have a knack. That's so cool for you. No one is going to hear it from me. No one is going to mind. No, I'm joking. I actually don't even know what it is. It's a vibe. But yeah, I love that. I love that. What else do I love? I think that's your kink then.

Very rarely. But for some reason, I just have a knack. That's so cool for you. No one is going to hear it from me. No one is going to mind. No, I'm joking. I actually don't even know what it is. It's a vibe. But yeah, I love that. I love that. What else do I love? I think that's your kink then.

Why not?

Why not?

I mean, follow your heart. How big are your hands?

I mean, follow your heart. How big are your hands?

Oh, my God. Wow, they're even smaller than mine. Tiny little hands. I think she's way taller than you. How tall are you? I'm 5'7". I'm like 5'7". I like. But I think I'm 5'7". I mean, I'm also 5'7". I'm lying. I think I'm 5'6 1⁄2". I'm 5'6 1⁄2". Okay, so we're the same. 5'6 1⁄2", blonde with tiny hands.

Oh, my God. Wow, they're even smaller than mine. Tiny little hands. I think she's way taller than you. How tall are you? I'm 5'7". I'm like 5'7". I like. But I think I'm 5'7". I mean, I'm also 5'7". I'm lying. I think I'm 5'6 1⁄2". I'm 5'6 1⁄2". Okay, so we're the same. 5'6 1⁄2", blonde with tiny hands.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You identify as 6'2".

You identify as 6'2".

Gold has 6'2". Fair. That's a fair. There's nothing wrong with that. Thank you. Who's going to check? Who's going to have a measuring tape? Yeah, nobody. On the fly.

Gold has 6'2". Fair. That's a fair. There's nothing wrong with that. Thank you. Who's going to check? Who's going to have a measuring tape? Yeah, nobody. On the fly.

They do. At live shows.

They do. At live shows.

I'm so sorry. I don't know if I know any British people. Isn't that fucking nuts? No, you do. Thank God. You only need to know one and it's me. Yeah. And I believe that. I don't know any gay British people.

I'm so sorry. I don't know if I know any British people. Isn't that fucking nuts? No, you do. Thank God. You only need to know one and it's me. Yeah. And I believe that. I don't know any gay British people.

High five I can fuck with. I can't high five a partner. I can fuck with a high five if it was so fucking good that you're like, we genuinely are. You're talking about a sex five. A sex five.

High five I can fuck with. I can't high five a partner. I can fuck with a high five if it was so fucking good that you're like, we genuinely are. You're talking about a sex five. A sex five.

I don't think I've ever fist-bumped anyone in my life. Me neither. Fist-bump is so platonic to me. Yeah.

I don't think I've ever fist-bumped anyone in my life. Me neither. Fist-bump is so platonic to me. Yeah.

Oh, my God. That is like the biggest hit to the stomach if your girlfriend goes, all right, mate. And that is when you know you've really fucked up. Oh. You know you're in big, big trouble when you go, all right, mate. And you're like, oh, really? Yeah, it's bad. And that's when I'm getting sassy. Because even to some of my closest friends, I won't call mate, right? Because it's a fuck you?

Oh, my God. That is like the biggest hit to the stomach if your girlfriend goes, all right, mate. And that is when you know you've really fucked up. Oh. You know you're in big, big trouble when you go, all right, mate. And you're like, oh, really? Yeah, it's bad. And that's when I'm getting sassy. Because even to some of my closest friends, I won't call mate, right? Because it's a fuck you?

I'll be like, all right then, mate. That is just like, you've really, you've done something to me. You've done something to me. And it's really bad. It's really weird. But I'm like, I'm trying to think, you all right there, mate? Like, yeah, I'd say like, you all right there, mate? Like, if it's a more like... Certain friends I say it to and certain friends I don't.

I'll be like, all right then, mate. That is just like, you've really, you've done something to me. You've done something to me. And it's really bad. It's really weird. But I'm like, I'm trying to think, you all right there, mate? Like, yeah, I'd say like, you all right there, mate? Like, if it's a more like... Certain friends I say it to and certain friends I don't.

Like, you know, when you just have certain slangs, I'm more of like a babe. Yeah. Like, babe for everything. Yeah. I never say dude. I don't think it really suits my accent. It sure doesn't. No. Right? No.

Like, you know, when you just have certain slangs, I'm more of like a babe. Yeah. Like, babe for everything. Yeah. I never say dude. I don't think it really suits my accent. It sure doesn't. No. Right? No.

And you have to say it at least like 20 times within the argument or discussion, the heated discussion. And it's like, no, listen here, Erica. This is, oof.

And you have to say it at least like 20 times within the argument or discussion, the heated discussion. And it's like, no, listen here, Erica. This is, oof.

Do you know what, when you hear it from the English voice as well, it's really giving punishment. Punishment.

Do you know what, when you hear it from the English voice as well, it's really giving punishment. Punishment.

Mackenzie. Oh, I actually deeply liked it.

Mackenzie. Oh, I actually deeply liked it.

Mackenzie and Rachel. Mackenzie Nissen. Rachel.

Mackenzie and Rachel. Mackenzie Nissen. Rachel.

But I... Yeah, no.

But I... Yeah, no.

Yeah, we're going to fight.

Yeah, we're going to fight.

No. Have you ever been friend-zoned?

No. Have you ever been friend-zoned?

No, no. Have I... no no yeah no unfortunately not unfortunately that's actually quite a nice thing yeah it's a you're lucky I haven't been I think I've been very lucky yeah

No, no. Have I... no no yeah no unfortunately not unfortunately that's actually quite a nice thing yeah it's a you're lucky I haven't been I think I've been very lucky yeah

Sorry, that's such a cunty answer as well. It's honest. No, I haven't been friend zoned. I'm trying to genuinely think if I have. God, I've only been friend zoned. Oh, I think maybe when I was, oh, so when I was really younger. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That's when I was friend zoned. So like in the teenagers, 100%.

Sorry, that's such a cunty answer as well. It's honest. No, I haven't been friend zoned. I'm trying to genuinely think if I have. God, I've only been friend zoned. Oh, I think maybe when I was, oh, so when I was really younger. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That's when I was friend zoned. So like in the teenagers, 100%.

Like I wanted these girls to be in love with me like I was in love with them and they didn't want it.

Like I wanted these girls to be in love with me like I was in love with them and they didn't want it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And still Kate? I think Kate on the day-to-day? Yeah. I've got to be honest. Maybe it's wishful thinking.

Yeah. Yeah. And still Kate? I think Kate on the day-to-day? Yeah. I've got to be honest. Maybe it's wishful thinking.

Okay. Because we are too.

Okay. Because we are too.

are you acting okay there is not one she is not straight right right you can't look that good and be straight you also can't we're always saying that i'm like the voice when she did carol and she said do you live alone that to me is is gay proof for sure you might as well have been munching box i mean i i you know what guys the next time because there will be a next time i come on this podcast or you come on mine or whatever it is between like now that i'm in my single era yeah

are you acting okay there is not one she is not straight right right you can't look that good and be straight you also can't we're always saying that i'm like the voice when she did carol and she said do you live alone that to me is is gay proof for sure you might as well have been munching box i mean i i you know what guys the next time because there will be a next time i come on this podcast or you come on mine or whatever it is between like now that i'm in my single era yeah

I'm going to have to find Kate. I'm going to have to fuck her. And then that's going to be the proof. I think that's the only way to do it. Good God, please do that. She's going to try and NDA the shit out of me. And I'm going to say, nah, take me to jail. I'm telling everyone.

I'm going to have to find Kate. I'm going to have to fuck her. And then that's going to be the proof. I think that's the only way to do it. Good God, please do that. She's going to try and NDA the shit out of me. And I'm going to say, nah, take me to jail. I'm telling everyone.

Cats out of the bag. Cats out of the bag. Cats out of the bag. Kate's out of the bag. Kate's out of the box. Kate's in the box. You've got to keep us. I'm joking. I would never actually manage to do it. Like, never. Never say never.

Cats out of the bag. Cats out of the bag. Cats out of the bag. Kate's out of the bag. Kate's out of the box. Kate's in the box. You've got to keep us. I'm joking. I would never actually manage to do it. Like, never. Never say never.

life's long for everyone here I'll get her when she's really old now that you're in your single era do you find yourself posting differently on social media now that you're single is it the same throughout it's very similar just in terms of like my personality and everything else just not with a girl there next to you yeah so basically just sans Scarlett like there's just like the same kind of shit but me doing it alone so having a pint on my own yeah cute stroking the dog on my own mhm

life's long for everyone here I'll get her when she's really old now that you're in your single era do you find yourself posting differently on social media now that you're single is it the same throughout it's very similar just in terms of like my personality and everything else just not with a girl there next to you yeah so basically just sans Scarlett like there's just like the same kind of shit but me doing it alone so having a pint on my own yeah cute stroking the dog on my own mhm

Masturbating. Oh, you post that as well. That's when you go live. No, but yeah, it's like all the same stuff. I don't think I do. But maybe you guys can analyze it and tell me if maybe I have. Maybe you could see if there's a difference. We'll do a deep dive later. I have been deep diving all day.

Masturbating. Oh, you post that as well. That's when you go live. No, but yeah, it's like all the same stuff. I don't think I do. But maybe you guys can analyze it and tell me if maybe I have. Maybe you could see if there's a difference. We'll do a deep dive later. I have been deep diving all day.

I love the fact that, like, I'm a femme that makes me want to just, like, tooth and nail, say, Pirates of the Caribbean. Right. Because I don't want to just be like, well, she looked gayer.

I love the fact that, like, I'm a femme that makes me want to just, like, tooth and nail, say, Pirates of the Caribbean. Right. Because I don't want to just be like, well, she looked gayer.

For sure. If anyone wants to know what it is, watch Bend It Like Beckham. Mm-hmm. But she's too boy crazy in it. Yeah. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. Right. Right. Whereas on Pirates of the Caribbean, she's wearing like a little bralette moment bustier corset, which is gay as hell. No straight woman would wear that. And she's like the only woman on the ship. Yeah. Yes. She's killing it.

For sure. If anyone wants to know what it is, watch Bend It Like Beckham. Mm-hmm. But she's too boy crazy in it. Yeah. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. Right. Right. Whereas on Pirates of the Caribbean, she's wearing like a little bralette moment bustier corset, which is gay as hell. No straight woman would wear that. And she's like the only woman on the ship. Yeah. Yes. She's killing it.

I think she was also on a rope at some point. She was!

I think she was also on a rope at some point. She was!

No, it's a lot of upper body strength. For what? For what? For fingering. You're a girl for that? Yes. Yeah, exactly. So I'm actually going to have to say Pirates of the Caribbean. That's a good choice.

No, it's a lot of upper body strength. For what? For what? For fingering. You're a girl for that? Yes. Yeah, exactly. So I'm actually going to have to say Pirates of the Caribbean. That's a good choice.

Yeah, she is Puss in Boots. Yeah. Yeah, you are what you eat.

Yeah, she is Puss in Boots. Yeah. Yeah, you are what you eat.

Also, isn't she into like Orlando Bloom and that and he just looks like a woman? He is. He is a woman. He's a woman.

Also, isn't she into like Orlando Bloom and that and he just looks like a woman? He is. He is a woman. He's a woman.

Okay.

Okay.

It goes like this.

It goes like this.

Oh my God, don't even do that to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Oh my God, don't even do that to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Obsessed. Okay. I'm uncomfortable. I've just had to move my chair. What part made you uncomfortable? The breathiness. Oh, it was hot. That was really hot. Do that more. I think just for my reaction alone, that's the gayer thing. Yeah, there is something so gay about that breath work. We love that. And also there is a as well. Oh, yeah. You do the inwards and the outwards.

Obsessed. Okay. I'm uncomfortable. I've just had to move my chair. What part made you uncomfortable? The breathiness. Oh, it was hot. That was really hot. Do that more. I think just for my reaction alone, that's the gayer thing. Yeah, there is something so gay about that breath work. We love that. And also there is a as well. Oh, yeah. You do the inwards and the outwards.

Oh, I do like the outwards better. Yeah.

Oh, I do like the outwards better. Yeah.

I have tuberculosis.

I have tuberculosis.

It's a lot of creaking. It's a lot of breathing. And, you know, when they, like, amplify the breathing so much, I'm like, everyone's going to hear you. Like, I get so stressed out. I'm, like, breathing too fucking loud. Stop your fucking breathing. Shut the fuck up. Why are they all mouth breathers as well? Why? Because they're British. Yeah. Are you guys mouth breathers?

It's a lot of creaking. It's a lot of breathing. And, you know, when they, like, amplify the breathing so much, I'm like, everyone's going to hear you. Like, I get so stressed out. I'm, like, breathing too fucking loud. Stop your fucking breathing. Shut the fuck up. Why are they all mouth breathers as well? Why? Because they're British. Yeah. Are you guys mouth breathers?

Yeah, because we don't have the jaw strength like the rest of the fucking world, all right? Have you seen a person from Britain's jaw? You know what? I haven't. Exactly. You haven't because you can't find it on their face.

Yeah, because we don't have the jaw strength like the rest of the fucking world, all right? Have you seen a person from Britain's jaw? You know what? I haven't. Exactly. You haven't because you can't find it on their face.

We gave them all to Keira Knightley. Do you know that when I was younger, I used to get compared to her all the time and it was like my biggest, obviously not now, but it was great. Those were the days.

We gave them all to Keira Knightley. Do you know that when I was younger, I used to get compared to her all the time and it was like my biggest, obviously not now, but it was great. Those were the days.

Thank you so much. They're crazy. They're massive. My wife would have a huge crush on you. Thank you so much, wife. What's your wife's name? Nazara. Nazara. Gorgeous. When did you get married? November. Oh my fucking... Congratulations. Show it off. She's beautiful. She's gorgeous. We are both beautiful. How long have you been together? Six and a half years. Six and a half years.

Thank you so much. They're crazy. They're massive. My wife would have a huge crush on you. Thank you so much, wife. What's your wife's name? Nazara. Nazara. Gorgeous. When did you get married? November. Oh my fucking... Congratulations. Show it off. She's beautiful. She's gorgeous. We are both beautiful. How long have you been together? Six and a half years. Six and a half years.

Well, not for much longer. Wait until I come through with these arms. Come on, babe. Yeah, no, that's amazing. Congratulations. Thank you. That's beautiful. Yeah, what was I saying? Well, we have one more. So we are mouth breathers. You're winning, by the way, the game. You are. All of these are correct. Okay.

Well, not for much longer. Wait until I come through with these arms. Come on, babe. Yeah, no, that's amazing. Congratulations. Thank you. That's beautiful. Yeah, what was I saying? Well, we have one more. So we are mouth breathers. You're winning, by the way, the game. You are. All of these are correct. Okay.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

I've seen the fashion. And you've eaten one of those tiny sandwiches. And I've eaten one of those tiny sandwiches. So those tiny sandwiches are giving more gay male behavior. For sure. And I'm just not here for it. It doesn't suit me. Why are you doing small little sandwiches like that? You need to grow up. You want like a big sandwich. Yeah, I want a big sandwich. Give me a foot long.

I've seen the fashion. And you've eaten one of those tiny sandwiches. And I've eaten one of those tiny sandwiches. So those tiny sandwiches are giving more gay male behavior. For sure. And I'm just not here for it. It doesn't suit me. Why are you doing small little sandwiches like that? You need to grow up. You want like a big sandwich. Yeah, I want a big sandwich. Give me a foot long.

That's for gay men who can't eat a lot because they're about to bottom later. If that ain't the truth. If that ain't the truth.

That's for gay men who can't eat a lot because they're about to bottom later. If that ain't the truth. If that ain't the truth.

Yeah. Oversized crew neck with the cycling shorts. Yeah. The bicycle shorts. Are you joking? It's pretty gay. So she would have ridden a bike. For sure. She rode a bike. She would ride anything. That she wanted.

Yeah. Oversized crew neck with the cycling shorts. Yeah. The bicycle shorts. Are you joking? It's pretty gay. So she would have ridden a bike. For sure. She rode a bike. She would ride anything. That she wanted.

100%.

100%.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Her fashion is iconic. It was. And if all the lesbians love her fashion, therefore she is gay. Yeah.

Her fashion is iconic. It was. And if all the lesbians love her fashion, therefore she is gay. Yeah.

That wasn't a rumor that was out here before. I think that they probably knew that that would do really well on that show, like a bit of clickbait. And obviously I loved it. I loved it. But that woman, she, do you know what? She had too much understanding and humility, humanity, whatever the fuck, Hugh Grant, about her, that like, to have not been gay. I think you're right.

That wasn't a rumor that was out here before. I think that they probably knew that that would do really well on that show, like a bit of clickbait. And obviously I loved it. I loved it. But that woman, she, do you know what? She had too much understanding and humility, humanity, whatever the fuck, Hugh Grant, about her, that like, to have not been gay. I think you're right.

She was so progressive. She was a major futurist. So compassionate. So compassionate. And he was ugly. Yeah, for sure. But she knew that she had to get into the castle.

She was so progressive. She was a major futurist. So compassionate. So compassionate. And he was ugly. Yeah, for sure. But she knew that she had to get into the castle.

Because what man... Would want that. Would want that. No, because they're fragile egos. And if you were that evolved, why would you want a man? For sure. There. Doesn't check out.

Because what man... Would want that. Would want that. No, because they're fragile egos. And if you were that evolved, why would you want a man? For sure. There. Doesn't check out.

Why would you want to suck a dick? Right. You've got all of that and you want to suck a dick? You want to go home and suck a dick? No. Yeah, grow up. Okay, the final what's gayer. Imagine going home. Imagine going home.

Why would you want to suck a dick? Right. You've got all of that and you want to suck a dick? You want to go home and suck a dick? No. Yeah, grow up. Okay, the final what's gayer. Imagine going home. Imagine going home.

Okay. The swing on the bus. Yeah. The swing on the bus. All girls together. Leopard print. Yeah. There's a lot of velvet. There's a lot of innuendo. There's a lot of camel toe. Yeah. Yes. There's also that one specific scene, which is the gayest thing I've ever seen, is where they have to fly over the bridge whilst it's closing on the car or bus or whatever the fuck it was.

Okay. The swing on the bus. Yeah. The swing on the bus. All girls together. Leopard print. Yeah. There's a lot of velvet. There's a lot of innuendo. There's a lot of camel toe. Yeah. Yes. There's also that one specific scene, which is the gayest thing I've ever seen, is where they have to fly over the bridge whilst it's closing on the car or bus or whatever the fuck it was.

They obviously made this like a... They didn't even try to make it look like CGI or anything. It was just kind of like a toy. Like a toy London Bridge and a toy car going over. That is the gayest thing I've ever seen. That is gay. Sorry, Spice World.

They obviously made this like a... They didn't even try to make it look like CGI or anything. It was just kind of like a toy. Like a toy London Bridge and a toy car going over. That is the gayest thing I've ever seen. That is gay. Sorry, Spice World.

forget also for the sporty one alone gay yeah no for sure all i would have had to have said then was sporty one yeah and you did win you did win what's gayer congratulations you did amazing you were really really good thank you um we have a few askadikes that we're gonna have you answer okay for it to end this episode and guys i'm having the best time ever you're amazing you're an amazing i mean of course this is what you do for a living no this is so weird to be on the other side i've never been on the other side of a podcast before yeah this is my first

forget also for the sporty one alone gay yeah no for sure all i would have had to have said then was sporty one yeah and you did win you did win what's gayer congratulations you did amazing you were really really good thank you um we have a few askadikes that we're gonna have you answer okay for it to end this episode and guys i'm having the best time ever you're amazing you're an amazing i mean of course this is what you do for a living no this is so weird to be on the other side i've never been on the other side of a podcast before yeah this is my first

Oh, you're amazing. It's my virginity. Thank you so much.

Oh, you're amazing. It's my virginity. Thank you so much.

I was about to say. So is the issue that she's because she said, I'm actually OK with you showing the world how hot you are, but just don't show the photos. Maybe it's because the photos were taken for her. So they seem less special. So that's what she said in the message, right? So it's like, just take more. So that's the problem. Right.

I was about to say. So is the issue that she's because she said, I'm actually OK with you showing the world how hot you are, but just don't show the photos. Maybe it's because the photos were taken for her. So they seem less special. So that's what she said in the message, right? So it's like, just take more. So that's the problem. Right.

Then you could probably meet a mutual agreement, which is like, OK, I did. Personally, I think that like if like if a girlfriend of mine was posting like half naked photos online or whatever, I wouldn't really like if I was OK with that, it wouldn't really bother me that they were even photos that were taken for me initially. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? For sure.

Then you could probably meet a mutual agreement, which is like, OK, I did. Personally, I think that like if like if a girlfriend of mine was posting like half naked photos online or whatever, I wouldn't really like if I was OK with that, it wouldn't really bother me that they were even photos that were taken for me initially. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? For sure.

It would bother me if she was uploading photos of me. Yeah, for sure. But like the other way, I mean, is she looking to maybe like monetize this?

It would bother me if she was uploading photos of me. Yeah, for sure. But like the other way, I mean, is she looking to maybe like monetize this?

Maybe go to therapy. Right. Because it's a bit bizarre, honestly. That would be a red flag for me. Which one? The fact that she now is... Now that she feels like she's got a load of lesbian followers, that she feels like she needs to almost portray... Sexualize herself. Sexualize herself online. And I think that maybe you could probably think... Why am I doing this? What's the purpose?

Maybe go to therapy. Right. Because it's a bit bizarre, honestly. That would be a red flag for me. Which one? The fact that she now is... Now that she feels like she's got a load of lesbian followers, that she feels like she needs to almost portray... Sexualize herself. Sexualize herself online. And I think that maybe you could probably think... Why am I doing this? What's the purpose?

And if the purpose genuinely, I don't know. Because the thing is that usually people would do that to get the following. Not like once the following's there, they then do it. Because that's not necessarily why they followed her. It's also maybe seeming a bit like, I need people to call me sexy. Are you not getting that elsewhere? Are you not feeling confident within yourself?

And if the purpose genuinely, I don't know. Because the thing is that usually people would do that to get the following. Not like once the following's there, they then do it. Because that's not necessarily why they followed her. It's also maybe seeming a bit like, I need people to call me sexy. Are you not getting that elsewhere? Are you not feeling confident within yourself?

100%.

100%.

I also think that it's like, also like, yeah, to go on the flip side, like power of autonomy. Like we are our own individual people. And if you feel like you really want to fucking do that, I mean, like they've already had discussions about it. It's not like she's got like a fake account where she's posting stuff. Yeah. My only thing is I'm like, What are the photos like, really?

I also think that it's like, also like, yeah, to go on the flip side, like power of autonomy. Like we are our own individual people. And if you feel like you really want to fucking do that, I mean, like they've already had discussions about it. It's not like she's got like a fake account where she's posting stuff. Yeah. My only thing is I'm like, What are the photos like, really?

Are they full-on nudes?

Are they full-on nudes?

Exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm all aligned.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm all aligned.

For sure.

For sure.

And if you're concerned about it, just maybe have like a conversation with the girlfriend and be like, is everything okay here? Right. You know? Right. Be as open as possible, babies. Yes. Yes. Okay. We have another one. Just do the breath again. Okay. Amazing.

And if you're concerned about it, just maybe have like a conversation with the girlfriend and be like, is everything okay here? Right. You know? Right. Be as open as possible, babies. Yes. Yes. Okay. We have another one. Just do the breath again. Okay. Amazing.

Dominance is an attitude, babe. It doesn't matter how tall you are. Like the six twos in the room can attest to this, right? Thank you. Yes. So in my last relationship, Scarlett was 5'11 and I'm 5'6. So that's like quite a big height difference. you do naturally feel a little bit like, oh, let me just run after you, darling, with your big long legs. And I can't get there quite as fast.

Dominance is an attitude, babe. It doesn't matter how tall you are. Like the six twos in the room can attest to this, right? Thank you. Yes. So in my last relationship, Scarlett was 5'11 and I'm 5'6. So that's like quite a big height difference. you do naturally feel a little bit like, oh, let me just run after you, darling, with your big long legs. And I can't get there quite as fast.

And I'm like trying to like kiss me. I'm just like jumping up. And it's not sexy. You do feel like a bit of a dickhead sometimes. But we're all the same height lying down, girls. Like, I just genuinely think that it's like, it is a nasty thing. If she says that she thinks that she deserves it, that doesn't then mean that it's something physically that she can give it.

And I'm like trying to like kiss me. I'm just like jumping up. And it's not sexy. You do feel like a bit of a dickhead sometimes. But we're all the same height lying down, girls. Like, I just genuinely think that it's like, it is a nasty thing. If she says that she thinks that she deserves it, that doesn't then mean that it's something physically that she can give it.

Does she mean like more like mentally? I think it's a mental thing. Right. So like your your mental shouldn't mix up to your height. You should just be like, OK, I'm going to be more dominant on this.

Does she mean like more like mentally? I think it's a mental thing. Right. So like your your mental shouldn't mix up to your height. You should just be like, OK, I'm going to be more dominant on this.

Right in her heart.

Right in her heart.

No, but imagine being like, oh, baby, I'll go and get the bill this time. You go over to the bill and they're like, you've got to be five foot to pay this bill. For sure. Imagine they did, though. Right. They're like, sorry, you're not tall enough, honey. Go get your mom.

No, but imagine being like, oh, baby, I'll go and get the bill this time. You go over to the bill and they're like, you've got to be five foot to pay this bill. For sure. Imagine they did, though. Right. They're like, sorry, you're not tall enough, honey. Go get your mom.

Yeah. You just got to own it and like own that confidence. That sounds like her insecurity because clearly like her girlfriend is more than happy with her with the height that she is. Therefore, she should be able to have the ability to be more dominant. It's like ebb and flows relationships. Dominance, right?

Yeah. You just got to own it and like own that confidence. That sounds like her insecurity because clearly like her girlfriend is more than happy with her with the height that she is. Therefore, she should be able to have the ability to be more dominant. It's like ebb and flows relationships. Dominance, right?

Get you get your tiny little body.

Get you get your tiny little body.

Right? Yes, like that. No, I mean, I don't know. It's really hard because right now I'm filtering through my mates. And I'm like, which one of you would I shag? Would you shag a friend? Would you? I have done in the past. I feel like lesbian culture is very much like... I really don't think I could now. I really don't think I could. But it depends. I mean, who knows?

Right? Yes, like that. No, I mean, I don't know. It's really hard because right now I'm filtering through my mates. And I'm like, which one of you would I shag? Would you shag a friend? Would you? I have done in the past. I feel like lesbian culture is very much like... I really don't think I could now. I really don't think I could. But it depends. I mean, who knows?

If it was like a medical emergency. Oh, so this is a medical emergency. I'm doing the act of God for making them come. Yes. Yes, because I love a challenge. Great. Yeah. So she... This is challenge road rules.

If it was like a medical emergency. Oh, so this is a medical emergency. I'm doing the act of God for making them come. Yes. Yes, because I love a challenge. Great. Yeah. So she... This is challenge road rules.

Okay.

Okay.

Did they have, like, a meeting? They had a sit-down, yes. So how would you rather this happen? She's like, I'd rather you eat my pussy, actually.

Did they have, like, a meeting? They had a sit-down, yes. So how would you rather this happen? She's like, I'd rather you eat my pussy, actually.

Give it the night.

Give it the night.

Also, the pressure's probably already her problem.

Also, the pressure's probably already her problem.

I'm going to punch the wall after this happens.

I'm going to punch the wall after this happens.

I'm so fucked off.

I'm so fucked off.

For sure. No time crunch. Yes. No car. Yeah, for sure. And I also like, OK, so really, it is crazy to me how they came to the conclusion of being eaten out when especially the fact that she is a fucking virgin. Yeah.

For sure. No time crunch. Yes. No car. Yeah, for sure. And I also like, OK, so really, it is crazy to me how they came to the conclusion of being eaten out when especially the fact that she is a fucking virgin. Yeah.

And actually, women find it harder to come usually by being eaten out, I think, than like anything else or like maybe like a combination of like so many different things.

And actually, women find it harder to come usually by being eaten out, I think, than like anything else or like maybe like a combination of like so many different things.

right i feel like there's a lot of pressure when someone's going down on you because it's like you're you can really get in your head a lot more whereas like when they're like on top of you and their face is like right here and it's very sexual and it's a whole thing you're not feeling as like pressure conscious yeah by yourself yeah you're by yourself up here you really are like oh interesting and then just just and then i just think oh imagine how bad the angle looks of me from where you are right i think you're getting all the bad angles double chin well especially in a car

right i feel like there's a lot of pressure when someone's going down on you because it's like you're you can really get in your head a lot more whereas like when they're like on top of you and their face is like right here and it's very sexual and it's a whole thing you're not feeling as like pressure conscious yeah by yourself yeah you're by yourself up here you really are like oh interesting and then just just and then i just think oh imagine how bad the angle looks of me from where you are right i think you're getting all the bad angles double chin well especially in a car

Especially in a car. In a car is crazy. That's nuts. I have gone down a car. Yeah, I have done that. How?

Especially in a car. In a car is crazy. That's nuts. I have gone down a car. Yeah, I have done that. How?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

You're in the backseat. Right. You're in the backseat looking out. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Diet Pepsi was written about me. Got it. Yeah. Love that. So, yeah, don't do any of that shit. And also maybe try different things too. Don't just like go straight to going down on someone. I feel like going straight to that is like quite intense.

You're in the backseat. Right. You're in the backseat looking out. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Diet Pepsi was written about me. Got it. Yeah. Love that. So, yeah, don't do any of that shit. And also maybe try different things too. Don't just like go straight to going down on someone. I feel like going straight to that is like quite intense.

From the top. I'm going to be a bitch. You're an idiot.

From the top. I'm going to be a bitch. You're an idiot.

So much pressure. Maybe they live at home with parents. We were talking virgin. We're talking car. Maybe they both live at home with parents. Yeah, they could be young. Maybe, if you still want to do it in the car, because look, everyone loves car sex. Great. Fun, fun, fun. Does everyone?

So much pressure. Maybe they live at home with parents. We were talking virgin. We're talking car. Maybe they both live at home with parents. Yeah, they could be young. Maybe, if you still want to do it in the car, because look, everyone loves car sex. Great. Fun, fun, fun. Does everyone?

for sure frisky it's fun it's like it's impulsive you're like oh my god i thought we were just this is the least impulsive thing i've ever i mean they did do you know what i just think imagine then like so she was just like get in the car yeah and just like sit in the car and be like i'm gonna i'm gonna eat you out now and you're gonna love it and you're gonna come like it's weird it's too much pressure but if you are gonna do it during the back seats yeah yes or on the hood of the fucking car for sure yeah for everyone to watch yeah not in the trunk it's so scary but

for sure frisky it's fun it's like it's impulsive you're like oh my god i thought we were just this is the least impulsive thing i've ever i mean they did do you know what i just think imagine then like so she was just like get in the car yeah and just like sit in the car and be like i'm gonna i'm gonna eat you out now and you're gonna love it and you're gonna come like it's weird it's too much pressure but if you are gonna do it during the back seats yeah yes or on the hood of the fucking car for sure yeah for everyone to watch yeah not in the trunk it's so scary but

She's in the trunk still. Yeah, you've got to be so careful about the shit that you keep in your trunk.

She's in the trunk still. Yeah, you've got to be so careful about the shit that you keep in your trunk.

i've had women kind of have that energy towards me where they're like i'm gonna teach you a thing or two hate it i i can always tell and my body's like good luck bitch yeah now i'm out so i'm out not clocked out yeah like don't enjoy the ride enjoy the journey the journey is the main part it's like the as soon as you start to think about coming it ain't gonna fucking happen or if you're like i'm gonna need to come or like this has been going on for too long now like i'm gonna need to go your it's just a time crunch is the worst thing yeah just have fun lean into it be comfortable you

i've had women kind of have that energy towards me where they're like i'm gonna teach you a thing or two hate it i i can always tell and my body's like good luck bitch yeah now i'm out so i'm out not clocked out yeah like don't enjoy the ride enjoy the journey the journey is the main part it's like the as soon as you start to think about coming it ain't gonna fucking happen or if you're like i'm gonna need to come or like this has been going on for too long now like i'm gonna need to go your it's just a time crunch is the worst thing yeah just have fun lean into it be comfortable you

I love it.

I love it.

Oh my God, I'm stealing that. You should. People love it.

Oh my God, I'm stealing that. You should. People love it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you so much. That's why you're married. Exactly.

Thank you so much. That's why you're married. Exactly.

Yes. Wow. What do I play? What Spotify playlist do you put on? Oh, my God. Honestly, anything. I'm a buck wild to any shit. Like, I love country music. Stop. You're doing country. Don't try to run, honey. Don't try to run. Come back here now. Oh, my God. No. It's just more like...

Yes. Wow. What do I play? What Spotify playlist do you put on? Oh, my God. Honestly, anything. I'm a buck wild to any shit. Like, I love country music. Stop. You're doing country. Don't try to run, honey. Don't try to run. Come back here now. Oh, my God. No. It's just more like...

fuck me i've had some like latin dj music playing before a bit of rihanna but then you're like having a good time and then love the way you lie comes on and then you hear it can't tell me you can't come to eminem no no one has ever come to eminem no one but um yeah it can be just like a mixture of so many different things uh country rock Jesus. Now, what is country rock?

fuck me i've had some like latin dj music playing before a bit of rihanna but then you're like having a good time and then love the way you lie comes on and then you hear it can't tell me you can't come to eminem no no one has ever come to eminem no one but um yeah it can be just like a mixture of so many different things uh country rock Jesus. Now, what is country rock?

Don't tell me why it works. It just does. Interesting. What even is it? Don't tell me. Country rock would be like... I'm going to have to play you some, but it's like... I actually don't know what that is. It's like, you know, they're kind of like the sleazy, like electric guitar, kind of a bit like bluesy. Okay. Yeah. Lame. I'm not lame as fuck. No, it's not lame.

Don't tell me why it works. It just does. Interesting. What even is it? Don't tell me. Country rock would be like... I'm going to have to play you some, but it's like... I actually don't know what that is. It's like, you know, they're kind of like the sleazy, like electric guitar, kind of a bit like bluesy. Okay. Yeah. Lame. I'm not lame as fuck. No, it's not lame.

But I feel like it's just, it's just if the vibe is good. Like I love anything that's like a bit more chill too. I think the thing is, is like when there's too many lyrics, it can sometimes like really intensify a situation too.

But I feel like it's just, it's just if the vibe is good. Like I love anything that's like a bit more chill too. I think the thing is, is like when there's too many lyrics, it can sometimes like really intensify a situation too.

So I'm ADHD too, but I think that it almost helps me because I'm a tabs, all tabs open kind of girl. Like I have so much shit going on all in one go. So I feel like I get way too much like in the head if there isn't music playing. I'm like, what's my breath saying? Yeah, you can't have dead silence. Why am I doing this? Why is my hip creaking? I'm at that age now, girls. Why is my hip creaking?

So I'm ADHD too, but I think that it almost helps me because I'm a tabs, all tabs open kind of girl. Like I have so much shit going on all in one go. So I feel like I get way too much like in the head if there isn't music playing. I'm like, what's my breath saying? Yeah, you can't have dead silence. Why am I doing this? Why is my hip creaking? I'm at that age now, girls. Why is my hip creaking?

yes wow we blew out the mic on that one oh sorry kids no that's so real why is my hip creaking is really real yeah so all of the above music fuck it yeah what wouldn't I listen to in the bedroom yeah it would be like screamo probably oh for sure yeah no yeah vibe music less lyrics is better I think but anything sad I can't fuck to anything sad no yeah Sad music. I'm so sensitive to music.

yes wow we blew out the mic on that one oh sorry kids no that's so real why is my hip creaking is really real yeah so all of the above music fuck it yeah what wouldn't I listen to in the bedroom yeah it would be like screamo probably oh for sure yeah no yeah vibe music less lyrics is better I think but anything sad I can't fuck to anything sad no yeah Sad music. I'm so sensitive to music.

It's insane. As soon as I hear a sad song, she's out. She's crying. Yeah. I cry. You can't do it. Sweet. A sensitive. I know. Very sensitive.

It's insane. As soon as I hear a sad song, she's out. She's crying. Yeah. I cry. You can't do it. Sweet. A sensitive. I know. Very sensitive.

Yeah. Yeah, so you can follow me on underscore It's Freya on Instagram and I think it's like underscore underscore It's Freya on TikTok for some fucking reason. There's at Lesbian Supper Club pod and Lesbian Supper Club on Spotify and all your other streaming sites to give us a listen on there. Fuck. I think that's all of them.

Yeah. Yeah, so you can follow me on underscore It's Freya on Instagram and I think it's like underscore underscore It's Freya on TikTok for some fucking reason. There's at Lesbian Supper Club pod and Lesbian Supper Club on Spotify and all your other streaming sites to give us a listen on there. Fuck. I think that's all of them.

You really are. And thank you so much for having me on as well. I've had the best time. We love you. We're in love with you. I love your podcast. I love how it's like the duo, like the two lesbian podcasters come together. Truly. It feels right. From across the sea. Yeah.

You really are. And thank you so much for having me on as well. I've had the best time. We love you. We're in love with you. I love your podcast. I love how it's like the duo, like the two lesbian podcasters come together. Truly. It feels right. From across the sea. Yeah.

I'm Freya Evans.

I'm Freya Evans.

Yeah. Okay. I didn't even say my full name, but there it is. Evans.

Yeah. Okay. I didn't even say my full name, but there it is. Evans.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm honestly buzzing my tits off right now. Me too. I'm so excited.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm honestly buzzing my tits off right now. Me too. I'm so excited.

Honey, this is why I cycled here. I did some like extra pushups. Yeah, it's incredible. And then I was like, I'm fucking ready. Yeah. Dykes. And we appreciate that.

Honey, this is why I cycled here. I did some like extra pushups. Yeah, it's incredible. And then I was like, I'm fucking ready. Yeah. Dykes. And we appreciate that.

So it's cycling. Cycling. Sorry. Yeah. Cycling on a line bike. It's basically if you have a death wish because they're quite fast, especially the way that I go. And like an ETA is not an ETA. It's a challenge. Yeah. Right. So it said it was going to take me 27 minutes to get here to be 21. And that is terrifying. I know. Do you have a helmet? No. Oh, God. I know. I know.

So it's cycling. Cycling. Sorry. Yeah. Cycling on a line bike. It's basically if you have a death wish because they're quite fast, especially the way that I go. And like an ETA is not an ETA. It's a challenge. Yeah. Right. So it said it was going to take me 27 minutes to get here to be 21. And that is terrifying. I know. Do you have a helmet? No. Oh, God. I know. I know.

Whenever somebody complains about cyclists, I feel like it is directly towards me. I'd love to get video of this. I'd love to get some CCTV. Good luck trying to catch that speed. Honestly. No one has a camera fast enough to capture that.

Whenever somebody complains about cyclists, I feel like it is directly towards me. I'd love to get video of this. I'd love to get some CCTV. Good luck trying to catch that speed. Honestly. No one has a camera fast enough to capture that.

That's such a good idea. Look to the side.

That's such a good idea. Look to the side.

You blink. Do you know what I would do is like get off the bike and then you know the little like stand bit that like you put the bike on just like flip that quickly so she couldn't go anywhere. Where's my number? It sounds like assault but I actually think it might work. It sounds like assault but it's not. Not if it's you. Look, I mean well. I mean well. Or you just lie in front of the bike.

You blink. Do you know what I would do is like get off the bike and then you know the little like stand bit that like you put the bike on just like flip that quickly so she couldn't go anywhere. Where's my number? It sounds like assault but I actually think it might work. It sounds like assault but it's not. Not if it's you. Look, I mean well. I mean well. Or you just lie in front of the bike.

It's a really good one. It is good. And it's like, oh, can you be my emergency contact? Yes. CPR immediately. Guys, write this down.

It's a really good one. It is good. And it's like, oh, can you be my emergency contact? Yes. CPR immediately. Guys, write this down.

100%.

100%.

Exactly. I do that. Yeah. See, look, it is a femme privilege. I would say it is. That's what I'm saying. It's mainly because we kind of, we pass through the world looking straight, right? Right. So we're cocky as fuck. Yes. Yeah.

Exactly. I do that. Yeah. See, look, it is a femme privilege. I would say it is. That's what I'm saying. It's mainly because we kind of, we pass through the world looking straight, right? Right. So we're cocky as fuck. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, because they have their way with you. Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, because they have their way with you. Exactly. Yeah.

That is a go-to move of a femme. I feel like femmes are just out here railing me. Oh, my God. Femmes rail the hardest. Yes. Femmes are feral. Yes, yes. We do have something to prove. I think it's mainly as well. It's like, if I'm fighting bottom allegations, left, right, and fucking center, tooth and nail. And who is alleging this? Everyone. Well, I don't know. The ghosts. I don't fucking know.

That is a go-to move of a femme. I feel like femmes are just out here railing me. Oh, my God. Femmes rail the hardest. Yes. Femmes are feral. Yes, yes. We do have something to prove. I think it's mainly as well. It's like, if I'm fighting bottom allegations, left, right, and fucking center, tooth and nail. And who is alleging this? Everyone. Well, I don't know. The ghosts. I don't fucking know.

I know it. I know it. There's an energy. Right. I don't fucking know. Is there? Yes.

I know it. I know it. There's an energy. Right. I don't fucking know. Is there? Yes.

With an energy. Well, you rode something here. You rode a bike here.

With an energy. Well, you rode something here. You rode a bike here.

So I'm like, I'm not seeing femmes as having this bottom energy. No, of course not. No, but that's because you are a femme. I think the thing is, I'm also wearing a tank top. It all changes if I've got on something different, you know. And I was going to go, I was like, I'm going to look as gay as possible. And this is as gay as I get. This is as gay as a gay. Wow, really? For me, maybe.

So I'm like, I'm not seeing femmes as having this bottom energy. No, of course not. No, but that's because you are a femme. I think the thing is, I'm also wearing a tank top. It all changes if I've got on something different, you know. And I was going to go, I was like, I'm going to look as gay as possible. And this is as gay as I get. This is as gay as a gay. Wow, really? For me, maybe.

I don't know. Maybe it could get worse. Probably.

I don't know. Maybe it could get worse. Probably.

Oh, Were you closeted for a while? Babe, yeah, I was closeted for so long. Really? Yeah, it's actually so funny because I saw this photo. I'm going to actually have to show it to you right now. Yeah. Because I had this very conversation today and I was like, I don't understand why I had such an issue with just being gay. Like, what was my problem? But there's a funny backstory behind this photo.

Oh, Were you closeted for a while? Babe, yeah, I was closeted for so long. Really? Yeah, it's actually so funny because I saw this photo. I'm going to actually have to show it to you right now. Yeah. Because I had this very conversation today and I was like, I don't understand why I had such an issue with just being gay. Like, what was my problem? But there's a funny backstory behind this photo.

So have a look at it. This is in, yeah, 2013. So if you have a look at her. Right. She's giving like major femme era. Right. Back then. OK. Yeah. We'll have Leah put that up. And that just doesn't look like you. So it doesn't look like me. Right. Because I was pretending to have boyfriends left, right and center.

So have a look at it. This is in, yeah, 2013. So if you have a look at her. Right. She's giving like major femme era. Right. Back then. OK. Yeah. We'll have Leah put that up. And that just doesn't look like you. So it doesn't look like me. Right. Because I was pretending to have boyfriends left, right and center.

The funny thing is about that photo is that that was just before I picked up my girlfriend from the airport, my long distance girlfriend who I made in like to stay in the closet with me.

The funny thing is about that photo is that that was just before I picked up my girlfriend from the airport, my long distance girlfriend who I made in like to stay in the closet with me.

oh shit what an asshole so you had a conversation yes and you have a boyfriend when you're here babe it's really bad because i was so petrified and like this was when i think i was probably about 20 there and i came out when i was 21 okay so i had started dating her when i just turned 19 and obviously long distance relationship it felt very safe for me because i was like brazil hot Yeah.

oh shit what an asshole so you had a conversation yes and you have a boyfriend when you're here babe it's really bad because i was so petrified and like this was when i think i was probably about 20 there and i came out when i was 21 okay so i had started dating her when i just turned 19 and obviously long distance relationship it felt very safe for me because i was like brazil hot Yeah.

So I was like, OK, she's all the way in Brazil. Always wanted to go there. What a great excuse. Yep. And also I can lean into this thing without anyone knowing.

So I was like, OK, she's all the way in Brazil. Always wanted to go there. What a great excuse. Yep. And also I can lean into this thing without anyone knowing.

Exactly. Exactly. So if we were to go back to the beginning, I mean, when I was a kid, I had a mullet. I would only ever wear boys clothes.

Exactly. Exactly. So if we were to go back to the beginning, I mean, when I was a kid, I had a mullet. I would only ever wear boys clothes.

I'm going to see the mullet. I'd love to see it. The mullet, I was bringing that in in 2005, I think, was my time.

I'm going to see the mullet. I'd love to see it. The mullet, I was bringing that in in 2005, I think, was my time.

This is a straight woman. I love dick. I was giving dick-loving energy. Not with a mullet.

This is a straight woman. I love dick. I was giving dick-loving energy. Not with a mullet.

That was mine too. Yeah. You were going to be a pester.

That was mine too. Yeah. You were going to be a pester.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

I didn't know you would do that to me. I did. I kind of like, I want you to do like a rendition of like a sister act. Sister act four. But make it really lesbian. Yeah. I mean, it's already pretty lesbian. So all the nuns are like, yeah, lezzing off.

I didn't know you would do that to me. I did. I kind of like, I want you to do like a rendition of like a sister act. Sister act four. But make it really lesbian. Yeah. I mean, it's already pretty lesbian. So all the nuns are like, yeah, lezzing off.

Could you sing?

Could you sing?

Can you sing?

Can you sing?

Can I sing? What about Sister Axe songs? Do we know any of them?

Can I sing? What about Sister Axe songs? Do we know any of them?

Of course not.

Of course not.

Yeah. Oh, Happy Gay. Oh, Happy Gay. Oh, Happy Gay. There we go. Oh, you can sing. Yeah, that's lesbian. Yeah. We actually can do everything. Yeah, we can do everything.

Yeah. Oh, Happy Gay. Oh, Happy Gay. Oh, Happy Gay. There we go. Oh, you can sing. Yeah, that's lesbian. Yeah. We actually can do everything. Yeah, we can do everything.

Yes.

Yeah, so I can't find the photo because I've got no signal. That's okay. You can send it later. I will send it later. You're going to be shocked. I can't wait to see it. As in, I could tell people that I was a successful trans story.

I looked so much like a boy. Wow. I could fool anyone. For sure. I really like... I used to get... Every day. It was like little boy or like, you know, not even as an insult, but being like he, him, you know. That's cute. Fair. Really, really cute. Right. And but definitely not gay. Right. I love not me.

No, my skateboard, my BMX, my jorts, my mullet, my Nirvana T-shirt, my converse, like all of it. Right. So then and then like puberty here. And I was like, oh, maybe I do want to wear my sister's lip gloss afterwards. And maybe I do want to steal their clothes and I'm just going to do that. And then as I went into like the teenage years, I was like so crazy.

And now I look back at the crazy and I'm like, well, obviously this is why you went crazy, Freya, because I would go out all the time, go and get drunk so I can make out with girls.

Yeah. So horny teenager. You want to just drink everything. And obviously in the UK we can drink at 18 here. So naturally you drink from the age of 14. Holy shit. And you're just having fun, sleeping with your best mates who say that they're straight and have a boyfriend. This is great. Yeah, and then I, like, throughout all of this, like, time, I became, like, so insecure.

I, like, went out and I studied in Brighton specifically because I thought there'd be lesbians there and there were no lesbians. Shit. We were just there.

I did. Of course we did.

It was soaking wet down there. Yeah. Yeah. Go on, Dyke Dan. I absolutely love it there. Splashing all over the roads and everything in the course of days. Exactly.

So like back then was like a different time, right? And so I was like, well, this is great. Yeah. There's no lesbians here. So I got myself a boyfriend who sucked. Of course. But of course he did. And at the time then, I finished studying there, moved back home. And at this point, I was like really insecure with who I was. I think I like ate all of my feelings, drunk all of my feelings.

I became like morbidly obese. So I put myself on a very strict diet. And as I was doing this, I started talking to this girl that was online. And then that's how it all kind of like came to fruition. Because like, I think I was just like, how crazy would it be if I was gay? That would never happen. how crazy would it be if this was the truth, you know? And like, but I'm like, no, this is wild.

That could never be the case. I was like, I couldn't be gay. Like, there's no way. It's interesting that in your mind, you were like, this isn't even an option. No way. No. And like, also my older sister is gay. So you grew up seeing it already. So my mom tried to hide it as much as possible. Got it. Oh, my God. Yeah. My sister is seven years older than me. She's a gold star lesbo. Wow.

She came out when she was 16. Yeah. When I say came out, my mom found a MySpace page that she had created this forum for gay men. It's like an agony art.

the gay men my mom went on the on the family computer found it was like you're all disgusting and then went downstairs and like literally went to town like my sister bless her 16 yeah you know and um so she was like don't tell don't tell Freya and that was like years but then I kind of clocked it I remember being like 12 and being like I was Rebecca your girlfriend and she was like yeah and I was like she was like you don't mind I was like why would I you know just whatever and then you wrote off on your skateboard

And that was the thing. I was just like, well, there's already a gay. Statistically, there's three of us. Why have I got to be the other one? Why can't Lauren, the middle one, why can't she be a fucking lesbian? And is she? Did she turn out to be?

Life is long and we only get gayer. So that's fine. She's always got time to repent. Yeah. And so I then, yeah, I was like struggling with all of that for so long. I was like, don't you dare.

Because also another reason for me wanting to lose weight was because I didn't want to come out when I was like morbidly obese in biker jackets, red hair, lip piercing and being like, everyone's going to be like, you just can't get a man and that's why you're gay. Isn't that so annoying? It's so fucking annoying.

Of the straight women to say, you can't get a man because of the way you look. And you're like, have you seen you? What the fuck, dude? Hello. Janet, in the fucking corner, has got no teeth between her and her other mate.

Oh my God, Kelly Clarkson. Can we just go back to score? Yes, we can. And the wig.

Big headed.

Yeah. Get a fucking grip. That's what I'm saying. Get a grip. You and your boyfriend can get the fuck out of here. Yeah. You and your ugly little boyfriend. That's right. No, I hate it. I can't stand it.

Because it's also like, bitch, if I liked you, you would have known. Yeah. Because I've got game. Yes. Do you have game? No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying for all of us in general.

How do you hit on a woman?

How do I flirt? Right. How do you answer that question? Like, I've always said the same thing is that it's just like being so confident. Don't be afraid to say something fucking stupid because that's also pretty adorable.

right it's adorable when it's done in the right way yeah um and i think that just being honest as well like because i always think that girls girls are always saying how they actually know that i'm hitting on them though oh right yeah and it's like they know because the energy is different like the way that i speak to a woman that i'm like trying to hit on versus a woman that i'm just complimenting is so incredibly different because i compliment women all the time right right never men

Well, no. I don't even notice a man. Well, I haven't talked to a man in a while. No. I don't want to. Thank you. I'm on like a hundred day streak. Like Duolingo. Yes. And like if I speak to a man, I've got a fucking... Stop.

That's huge. I'm almost at a hundred. It's going really well. Do you know that I ignored every single man walking here? He was like, have a nice day. And I was like... I just kind of just go like... Well, it's almost like I'm almost at 100. Get the fuck out of here. But then you can't even say that, right? Because then you'll hear it. Exactly. So you just go... It's tough. Yeah. Just this.

Talk to the hand. This works. Sorry, so what were we talking about? I missed that. Oh, flirting.

Yeah, be really confident, but not cocky. There's like such a fine line, right, between being an arsehole and just being confident. And people love talking about themselves. They sure do. Give them the questions, baby. Yeah. Get them to open up. Get them to give you a life story. That is very gay. Yes, that is actually. Go on, tell me everything. Get deep on day one. Yeah, where's your trauma?

Way too deep.

And then you also see from their body language instantly if that is a green light or a red light. Like if you're touching, it's just like basic human psychology, right? And it's like if you touch someone's arm and like, give me your arm. So if I were to like go like that, say, and then you were to just like put it away. So we're like talking, but you kind of like edge it away a little bit.

It just, it's just like a very subtle hint.

So it's like if you then like say you're like talking to them and then you kind of like go into their arms. Sometimes they'll actually like if you can really if you can crack the code, they kind of lean into it just ever so slightly. Like it's not even a conscious thing. So that's also really important. And then just ask if you can get them a drink.

I always say like make sure it's just in a place where there's alcohol. Yeah. Smart. Easy. This is beautiful.

Yeah. Yes.

I think it's Weisz. Weisz. Yeah. Adel Weisz. Rachel Weisz. Weisz. Either way. Fuck it. We don't care. I do think it is both. Elizabeth Hurley. Elizabeth Hurley. Unbelievable.

Oh, Angelina Jolie. Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider. Fascinating. When I tell you I watched that time and time again, do you know a really rogue one? Do you remember Aqua, the band?

Aqua. Aqua's coming and it's like... I can say, look towards the light. It's gone. You go like this.

Did you lose the sneeze? That's so annoying.

That's almost as bad as when you're about to cum and then you don't. Like, that's the same feeling.

And that sucks. So it's Angelina Jolie. And then we're on the band Aqua. Okay. Okay, so we're on the band Aqua. So I watched their documentary. I had like a tape, like the VHS tape of their documentary, which I would watch every single day for the lead singer. Wait, I have to look at this lead singer. Okay, have you guys ever seen the Dr. Jones, Jones, Collins, that's a Jones. Oh, hold on.

Aqua band? Hold on. Dr. Jones. Lead singer. Yeah. Okay, it's this one specifically. It's her dressed in this Tarzan bikini. Oh, she's cute.

Hold on, you kind of need to see it when she was, what, what have you got there? Hold on. Don't be doing me dirty.

please they're under a waterfall yeah i know the music video still yeah so you can see here she's in like a camo she's in like a camo t-shirt and she's she's got the job i like that and i remember just watching that as a kid and being like i why do i like this so much i'm having the best time super hot there's a lot happening there that is working for me and it's working for me still 100 yeah have we found her have you met her before

So I'm dying to meet her. You have to. I have to get her on the podcast. You have to. I haven't even reached out yet because I'm too nervous. Don't be nervous. I feel like we've asked a couple people on the pod that we like.

And then when they show up and we're like, I'm just like sweating the whole time. I'm going to ask every woman that I've ever fancied in my life to come on the podcast. And then I'm going to flirt with them really aggressively.

This is a really good call out. I feel like they're really going to want to come on now.

Yeah, true. And I also miss Honey from Matilda. Oh, that's a good one. That's Rachel's. Yeah, that's a whole generation, I think, of queer people. All of us. I actually think that's universal. For sure. I had just so many. I don't know if there were any specific British ones, to be honest. And thank you so much for saying that we churn out some good ones.

I had no idea because the cliche is that they're not.

Okay. And I think also we have a bit of a thing. Like, I feel like from people from America, they think that we're going to smell bad and that we're going to have bad teeth. Interesting. And we only have one of those things. And which one is it? It is the teeth. Okay.

Full veneers. Yeah, they're full veneers.

Probably.

Well, the old school thing was that it was just all wonky.

That's what I like.

Just bring back wonky teeth. I love that shit. It's like that girl in White Lotus, one of our amazing girls, and I love her teeth. Without those teeth, how is she able to convey all of that emotion? I feel like her teeth convey so much emotion for her. She's a legend. I love her teeth. You must know how many times people and casting directors would have been like, fix your fucking teeth. Right.

Thank God she didn't. Thank God she didn't. Because she's standing out because of them. Everyone's obsessed with her. It's actually really funny because Scarlett has a snaggle tooth and that was what interested me. I was like, you're really hot. I was like, I really love this snaggle tooth. How far back is it? Or is it right in the front? Oh, it's this one.

Yeah, so just kind of like, just a little bit over. And I thought, that's really cute. It's kind of like giving you a lot of allowances to get away with a lot of shit. And I then see that little snaggle tooth pop out. I'm like, that's really cute. So that went from snaggle to then, like snaggle puss to scraggles.

So now I ended up just calling her scraggs for the rest of our relationship because of that. But it was just... That's really cute.

No, you know what? It makes it a bit sick. Are you worried about it? I couldn't do it. At this age, no. Not at this age. Not at my grand age.

Oh, what have you done?

How many children? One and grown adults. She did say that she doesn't like adults with braces.

All women are beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah. English ain't my first language. Yeah. All women are beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. But the braces do send me west a little bit because I think about food getting stuck in it and then that makes me feel really sick. And then I think, I don't want to do that. Especially imagine if they got the little elastic bands. I'm into it. Do you know what?

Maybe it's your kink. We've all got one, honey. We all have our things. I'm not going to shame you. I'm glad that you're into it.

yeah wait what what are you into so i don't know if i have one right and and you know what's really scary about that is that i know that everyone has one so you would just haven't found it yet so that means must be something pretty crazy fucking fucked up yeah are you trying to find it or are you like it'll find me it'll find me i think i wonder if you don't know if somebody's whatever you're naturally doing somebody else would be like that's insane maybe you know your signature move that you always have yeah i wonder if it matches i love a good squirt like a good squirter of

course so is that a king it feels like it could definitely be okay and i fuck hard with that that's great that's like a good skin of mine yeah i'm like just like the there's something i don't know what it is like you're a savant at it i'm a savant yeah what a beautiful skill to have God, I know. It's part of the ADHD, I reckon. Do you think that you, can you squirt? So like very rarely. Yeah.

Very rarely. But for some reason, I just have a knack. That's so cool for you. No one is going to hear it from me. No one is going to mind. No, I'm joking. I actually don't even know what it is. It's a vibe. But yeah, I love that. I love that. What else do I love? I think that's your kink then.

Why not?

I mean, follow your heart. How big are your hands?

Oh, my God. Wow, they're even smaller than mine. Tiny little hands. I think she's way taller than you. How tall are you? I'm 5'7". I'm like 5'7". I like. But I think I'm 5'7". I mean, I'm also 5'7". I'm lying. I think I'm 5'6 1⁄2". I'm 5'6 1⁄2". Okay, so we're the same. 5'6 1⁄2", blonde with tiny hands.

Yeah.

You identify as 6'2".

Gold has 6'2". Fair. That's a fair. There's nothing wrong with that. Thank you. Who's going to check? Who's going to have a measuring tape? Yeah, nobody. On the fly.

They do. At live shows.

I'm so sorry. I don't know if I know any British people. Isn't that fucking nuts? No, you do. Thank God. You only need to know one and it's me. Yeah. And I believe that. I don't know any gay British people.

High five I can fuck with. I can't high five a partner. I can fuck with a high five if it was so fucking good that you're like, we genuinely are. You're talking about a sex five. A sex five.

I don't think I've ever fist-bumped anyone in my life. Me neither. Fist-bump is so platonic to me. Yeah.

Oh, my God. That is like the biggest hit to the stomach if your girlfriend goes, all right, mate. And that is when you know you've really fucked up. Oh. You know you're in big, big trouble when you go, all right, mate. And you're like, oh, really? Yeah, it's bad. And that's when I'm getting sassy. Because even to some of my closest friends, I won't call mate, right? Because it's a fuck you?

I'll be like, all right then, mate. That is just like, you've really, you've done something to me. You've done something to me. And it's really bad. It's really weird. But I'm like, I'm trying to think, you all right there, mate? Like, yeah, I'd say like, you all right there, mate? Like, if it's a more like... Certain friends I say it to and certain friends I don't.

Like, you know, when you just have certain slangs, I'm more of like a babe. Yeah. Like, babe for everything. Yeah. I never say dude. I don't think it really suits my accent. It sure doesn't. No. Right? No.

And you have to say it at least like 20 times within the argument or discussion, the heated discussion. And it's like, no, listen here, Erica. This is, oof.

Do you know what, when you hear it from the English voice as well, it's really giving punishment. Punishment.

Mackenzie. Oh, I actually deeply liked it.

Mackenzie and Rachel. Mackenzie Nissen. Rachel.

But I... Yeah, no.

Yeah, we're going to fight.

No. Have you ever been friend-zoned?

No, no. Have I... no no yeah no unfortunately not unfortunately that's actually quite a nice thing yeah it's a you're lucky I haven't been I think I've been very lucky yeah

Sorry, that's such a cunty answer as well. It's honest. No, I haven't been friend zoned. I'm trying to genuinely think if I have. God, I've only been friend zoned. Oh, I think maybe when I was, oh, so when I was really younger. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That's when I was friend zoned. So like in the teenagers, 100%.

Like I wanted these girls to be in love with me like I was in love with them and they didn't want it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And still Kate? I think Kate on the day-to-day? Yeah. I've got to be honest. Maybe it's wishful thinking.

Okay. Because we are too.

are you acting okay there is not one she is not straight right right you can't look that good and be straight you also can't we're always saying that i'm like the voice when she did carol and she said do you live alone that to me is is gay proof for sure you might as well have been munching box i mean i i you know what guys the next time because there will be a next time i come on this podcast or you come on mine or whatever it is between like now that i'm in my single era yeah

I'm going to have to find Kate. I'm going to have to fuck her. And then that's going to be the proof. I think that's the only way to do it. Good God, please do that. She's going to try and NDA the shit out of me. And I'm going to say, nah, take me to jail. I'm telling everyone.

Cats out of the bag. Cats out of the bag. Cats out of the bag. Kate's out of the bag. Kate's out of the box. Kate's in the box. You've got to keep us. I'm joking. I would never actually manage to do it. Like, never. Never say never.

life's long for everyone here I'll get her when she's really old now that you're in your single era do you find yourself posting differently on social media now that you're single is it the same throughout it's very similar just in terms of like my personality and everything else just not with a girl there next to you yeah so basically just sans Scarlett like there's just like the same kind of shit but me doing it alone so having a pint on my own yeah cute stroking the dog on my own mhm

Masturbating. Oh, you post that as well. That's when you go live. No, but yeah, it's like all the same stuff. I don't think I do. But maybe you guys can analyze it and tell me if maybe I have. Maybe you could see if there's a difference. We'll do a deep dive later. I have been deep diving all day.

I love the fact that, like, I'm a femme that makes me want to just, like, tooth and nail, say, Pirates of the Caribbean. Right. Because I don't want to just be like, well, she looked gayer.

For sure. If anyone wants to know what it is, watch Bend It Like Beckham. Mm-hmm. But she's too boy crazy in it. Yeah. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. Right. Right. Whereas on Pirates of the Caribbean, she's wearing like a little bralette moment bustier corset, which is gay as hell. No straight woman would wear that. And she's like the only woman on the ship. Yeah. Yes. She's killing it.

I think she was also on a rope at some point. She was!

No, it's a lot of upper body strength. For what? For what? For fingering. You're a girl for that? Yes. Yeah, exactly. So I'm actually going to have to say Pirates of the Caribbean. That's a good choice.

Yeah, she is Puss in Boots. Yeah. Yeah, you are what you eat.

Also, isn't she into like Orlando Bloom and that and he just looks like a woman? He is. He is a woman. He's a woman.

Okay.

It goes like this.

Oh my God, don't even do that to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Obsessed. Okay. I'm uncomfortable. I've just had to move my chair. What part made you uncomfortable? The breathiness. Oh, it was hot. That was really hot. Do that more. I think just for my reaction alone, that's the gayer thing. Yeah, there is something so gay about that breath work. We love that. And also there is a as well. Oh, yeah. You do the inwards and the outwards.

Oh, I do like the outwards better. Yeah.

I have tuberculosis.

It's a lot of creaking. It's a lot of breathing. And, you know, when they, like, amplify the breathing so much, I'm like, everyone's going to hear you. Like, I get so stressed out. I'm, like, breathing too fucking loud. Stop your fucking breathing. Shut the fuck up. Why are they all mouth breathers as well? Why? Because they're British. Yeah. Are you guys mouth breathers?

Yeah, because we don't have the jaw strength like the rest of the fucking world, all right? Have you seen a person from Britain's jaw? You know what? I haven't. Exactly. You haven't because you can't find it on their face.

We gave them all to Keira Knightley. Do you know that when I was younger, I used to get compared to her all the time and it was like my biggest, obviously not now, but it was great. Those were the days.

Thank you so much. They're crazy. They're massive. My wife would have a huge crush on you. Thank you so much, wife. What's your wife's name? Nazara. Nazara. Gorgeous. When did you get married? November. Oh my fucking... Congratulations. Show it off. She's beautiful. She's gorgeous. We are both beautiful. How long have you been together? Six and a half years. Six and a half years.

Well, not for much longer. Wait until I come through with these arms. Come on, babe. Yeah, no, that's amazing. Congratulations. Thank you. That's beautiful. Yeah, what was I saying? Well, we have one more. So we are mouth breathers. You're winning, by the way, the game. You are. All of these are correct. Okay.

Thank you so much.

I've seen the fashion. And you've eaten one of those tiny sandwiches. And I've eaten one of those tiny sandwiches. So those tiny sandwiches are giving more gay male behavior. For sure. And I'm just not here for it. It doesn't suit me. Why are you doing small little sandwiches like that? You need to grow up. You want like a big sandwich. Yeah, I want a big sandwich. Give me a foot long.

That's for gay men who can't eat a lot because they're about to bottom later. If that ain't the truth. If that ain't the truth.

Yeah. Oversized crew neck with the cycling shorts. Yeah. The bicycle shorts. Are you joking? It's pretty gay. So she would have ridden a bike. For sure. She rode a bike. She would ride anything. That she wanted.

100%.

Yeah.

Her fashion is iconic. It was. And if all the lesbians love her fashion, therefore she is gay. Yeah.

That wasn't a rumor that was out here before. I think that they probably knew that that would do really well on that show, like a bit of clickbait. And obviously I loved it. I loved it. But that woman, she, do you know what? She had too much understanding and humility, humanity, whatever the fuck, Hugh Grant, about her, that like, to have not been gay. I think you're right.

She was so progressive. She was a major futurist. So compassionate. So compassionate. And he was ugly. Yeah, for sure. But she knew that she had to get into the castle.

Because what man... Would want that. Would want that. No, because they're fragile egos. And if you were that evolved, why would you want a man? For sure. There. Doesn't check out.

Why would you want to suck a dick? Right. You've got all of that and you want to suck a dick? You want to go home and suck a dick? No. Yeah, grow up. Okay, the final what's gayer. Imagine going home. Imagine going home.

Okay. The swing on the bus. Yeah. The swing on the bus. All girls together. Leopard print. Yeah. There's a lot of velvet. There's a lot of innuendo. There's a lot of camel toe. Yeah. Yes. There's also that one specific scene, which is the gayest thing I've ever seen, is where they have to fly over the bridge whilst it's closing on the car or bus or whatever the fuck it was.

They obviously made this like a... They didn't even try to make it look like CGI or anything. It was just kind of like a toy. Like a toy London Bridge and a toy car going over. That is the gayest thing I've ever seen. That is gay. Sorry, Spice World.

forget also for the sporty one alone gay yeah no for sure all i would have had to have said then was sporty one yeah and you did win you did win what's gayer congratulations you did amazing you were really really good thank you um we have a few askadikes that we're gonna have you answer okay for it to end this episode and guys i'm having the best time ever you're amazing you're an amazing i mean of course this is what you do for a living no this is so weird to be on the other side i've never been on the other side of a podcast before yeah this is my first

Oh, you're amazing. It's my virginity. Thank you so much.

I was about to say. So is the issue that she's because she said, I'm actually OK with you showing the world how hot you are, but just don't show the photos. Maybe it's because the photos were taken for her. So they seem less special. So that's what she said in the message, right? So it's like, just take more. So that's the problem. Right.

Then you could probably meet a mutual agreement, which is like, OK, I did. Personally, I think that like if like if a girlfriend of mine was posting like half naked photos online or whatever, I wouldn't really like if I was OK with that, it wouldn't really bother me that they were even photos that were taken for me initially. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? For sure.

It would bother me if she was uploading photos of me. Yeah, for sure. But like the other way, I mean, is she looking to maybe like monetize this?

Maybe go to therapy. Right. Because it's a bit bizarre, honestly. That would be a red flag for me. Which one? The fact that she now is... Now that she feels like she's got a load of lesbian followers, that she feels like she needs to almost portray... Sexualize herself. Sexualize herself online. And I think that maybe you could probably think... Why am I doing this? What's the purpose?

And if the purpose genuinely, I don't know. Because the thing is that usually people would do that to get the following. Not like once the following's there, they then do it. Because that's not necessarily why they followed her. It's also maybe seeming a bit like, I need people to call me sexy. Are you not getting that elsewhere? Are you not feeling confident within yourself?

100%.

I also think that it's like, also like, yeah, to go on the flip side, like power of autonomy. Like we are our own individual people. And if you feel like you really want to fucking do that, I mean, like they've already had discussions about it. It's not like she's got like a fake account where she's posting stuff. Yeah. My only thing is I'm like, What are the photos like, really?

Are they full-on nudes?

Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm all aligned.

For sure.

And if you're concerned about it, just maybe have like a conversation with the girlfriend and be like, is everything okay here? Right. You know? Right. Be as open as possible, babies. Yes. Yes. Okay. We have another one. Just do the breath again. Okay. Amazing.

Dominance is an attitude, babe. It doesn't matter how tall you are. Like the six twos in the room can attest to this, right? Thank you. Yes. So in my last relationship, Scarlett was 5'11 and I'm 5'6. So that's like quite a big height difference. you do naturally feel a little bit like, oh, let me just run after you, darling, with your big long legs. And I can't get there quite as fast.

And I'm like trying to like kiss me. I'm just like jumping up. And it's not sexy. You do feel like a bit of a dickhead sometimes. But we're all the same height lying down, girls. Like, I just genuinely think that it's like, it is a nasty thing. If she says that she thinks that she deserves it, that doesn't then mean that it's something physically that she can give it.

Does she mean like more like mentally? I think it's a mental thing. Right. So like your your mental shouldn't mix up to your height. You should just be like, OK, I'm going to be more dominant on this.

Right in her heart.

No, but imagine being like, oh, baby, I'll go and get the bill this time. You go over to the bill and they're like, you've got to be five foot to pay this bill. For sure. Imagine they did, though. Right. They're like, sorry, you're not tall enough, honey. Go get your mom.

Yeah. You just got to own it and like own that confidence. That sounds like her insecurity because clearly like her girlfriend is more than happy with her with the height that she is. Therefore, she should be able to have the ability to be more dominant. It's like ebb and flows relationships. Dominance, right?

Get you get your tiny little body.

Right? Yes, like that. No, I mean, I don't know. It's really hard because right now I'm filtering through my mates. And I'm like, which one of you would I shag? Would you shag a friend? Would you? I have done in the past. I feel like lesbian culture is very much like... I really don't think I could now. I really don't think I could. But it depends. I mean, who knows?

If it was like a medical emergency. Oh, so this is a medical emergency. I'm doing the act of God for making them come. Yes. Yes, because I love a challenge. Great. Yeah. So she... This is challenge road rules.

Okay.

Did they have, like, a meeting? They had a sit-down, yes. So how would you rather this happen? She's like, I'd rather you eat my pussy, actually.

Give it the night.

Also, the pressure's probably already her problem.

I'm going to punch the wall after this happens.

I'm so fucked off.

For sure. No time crunch. Yes. No car. Yeah, for sure. And I also like, OK, so really, it is crazy to me how they came to the conclusion of being eaten out when especially the fact that she is a fucking virgin. Yeah.

And actually, women find it harder to come usually by being eaten out, I think, than like anything else or like maybe like a combination of like so many different things.

right i feel like there's a lot of pressure when someone's going down on you because it's like you're you can really get in your head a lot more whereas like when they're like on top of you and their face is like right here and it's very sexual and it's a whole thing you're not feeling as like pressure conscious yeah by yourself yeah you're by yourself up here you really are like oh interesting and then just just and then i just think oh imagine how bad the angle looks of me from where you are right i think you're getting all the bad angles double chin well especially in a car

Especially in a car. In a car is crazy. That's nuts. I have gone down a car. Yeah, I have done that. How?

Mm-hmm.

You're in the backseat. Right. You're in the backseat looking out. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Diet Pepsi was written about me. Got it. Yeah. Love that. So, yeah, don't do any of that shit. And also maybe try different things too. Don't just like go straight to going down on someone. I feel like going straight to that is like quite intense.

From the top. I'm going to be a bitch. You're an idiot.

So much pressure. Maybe they live at home with parents. We were talking virgin. We're talking car. Maybe they both live at home with parents. Yeah, they could be young. Maybe, if you still want to do it in the car, because look, everyone loves car sex. Great. Fun, fun, fun. Does everyone?

for sure frisky it's fun it's like it's impulsive you're like oh my god i thought we were just this is the least impulsive thing i've ever i mean they did do you know what i just think imagine then like so she was just like get in the car yeah and just like sit in the car and be like i'm gonna i'm gonna eat you out now and you're gonna love it and you're gonna come like it's weird it's too much pressure but if you are gonna do it during the back seats yeah yes or on the hood of the fucking car for sure yeah for everyone to watch yeah not in the trunk it's so scary but

She's in the trunk still. Yeah, you've got to be so careful about the shit that you keep in your trunk.

i've had women kind of have that energy towards me where they're like i'm gonna teach you a thing or two hate it i i can always tell and my body's like good luck bitch yeah now i'm out so i'm out not clocked out yeah like don't enjoy the ride enjoy the journey the journey is the main part it's like the as soon as you start to think about coming it ain't gonna fucking happen or if you're like i'm gonna need to come or like this has been going on for too long now like i'm gonna need to go your it's just a time crunch is the worst thing yeah just have fun lean into it be comfortable you

I love it.

Oh my God, I'm stealing that. You should. People love it.

Yeah.

Thank you so much. That's why you're married. Exactly.

Yes. Wow. What do I play? What Spotify playlist do you put on? Oh, my God. Honestly, anything. I'm a buck wild to any shit. Like, I love country music. Stop. You're doing country. Don't try to run, honey. Don't try to run. Come back here now. Oh, my God. No. It's just more like...

fuck me i've had some like latin dj music playing before a bit of rihanna but then you're like having a good time and then love the way you lie comes on and then you hear it can't tell me you can't come to eminem no no one has ever come to eminem no one but um yeah it can be just like a mixture of so many different things uh country rock Jesus. Now, what is country rock?

Don't tell me why it works. It just does. Interesting. What even is it? Don't tell me. Country rock would be like... I'm going to have to play you some, but it's like... I actually don't know what that is. It's like, you know, they're kind of like the sleazy, like electric guitar, kind of a bit like bluesy. Okay. Yeah. Lame. I'm not lame as fuck. No, it's not lame.

But I feel like it's just, it's just if the vibe is good. Like I love anything that's like a bit more chill too. I think the thing is, is like when there's too many lyrics, it can sometimes like really intensify a situation too.

So I'm ADHD too, but I think that it almost helps me because I'm a tabs, all tabs open kind of girl. Like I have so much shit going on all in one go. So I feel like I get way too much like in the head if there isn't music playing. I'm like, what's my breath saying? Yeah, you can't have dead silence. Why am I doing this? Why is my hip creaking? I'm at that age now, girls. Why is my hip creaking?

yes wow we blew out the mic on that one oh sorry kids no that's so real why is my hip creaking is really real yeah so all of the above music fuck it yeah what wouldn't I listen to in the bedroom yeah it would be like screamo probably oh for sure yeah no yeah vibe music less lyrics is better I think but anything sad I can't fuck to anything sad no yeah Sad music. I'm so sensitive to music.

It's insane. As soon as I hear a sad song, she's out. She's crying. Yeah. I cry. You can't do it. Sweet. A sensitive. I know. Very sensitive.

Yeah. Yeah, so you can follow me on underscore It's Freya on Instagram and I think it's like underscore underscore It's Freya on TikTok for some fucking reason. There's at Lesbian Supper Club pod and Lesbian Supper Club on Spotify and all your other streaming sites to give us a listen on there. Fuck. I think that's all of them.

You really are. And thank you so much for having me on as well. I've had the best time. We love you. We're in love with you. I love your podcast. I love how it's like the duo, like the two lesbian podcasters come together. Truly. It feels right. From across the sea. Yeah.

I'm Freya Evans.

Yeah. Okay. I didn't even say my full name, but there it is. Evans.

Yeah.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm honestly buzzing my tits off right now. Me too. I'm so excited.

Honey, this is why I cycled here. I did some like extra pushups. Yeah, it's incredible. And then I was like, I'm fucking ready. Yeah. Dykes. And we appreciate that.

So it's cycling. Cycling. Sorry. Yeah. Cycling on a line bike. It's basically if you have a death wish because they're quite fast, especially the way that I go. And like an ETA is not an ETA. It's a challenge. Yeah. Right. So it said it was going to take me 27 minutes to get here to be 21. And that is terrifying. I know. Do you have a helmet? No. Oh, God. I know. I know.

Whenever somebody complains about cyclists, I feel like it is directly towards me. I'd love to get video of this. I'd love to get some CCTV. Good luck trying to catch that speed. Honestly. No one has a camera fast enough to capture that.

That's such a good idea. Look to the side.

You blink. Do you know what I would do is like get off the bike and then you know the little like stand bit that like you put the bike on just like flip that quickly so she couldn't go anywhere. Where's my number? It sounds like assault but I actually think it might work. It sounds like assault but it's not. Not if it's you. Look, I mean well. I mean well. Or you just lie in front of the bike.

It's a really good one. It is good. And it's like, oh, can you be my emergency contact? Yes. CPR immediately. Guys, write this down.

100%.

Exactly. I do that. Yeah. See, look, it is a femme privilege. I would say it is. That's what I'm saying. It's mainly because we kind of, we pass through the world looking straight, right? Right. So we're cocky as fuck. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, because they have their way with you. Exactly. Yeah.

That is a go-to move of a femme. I feel like femmes are just out here railing me. Oh, my God. Femmes rail the hardest. Yes. Femmes are feral. Yes, yes. We do have something to prove. I think it's mainly as well. It's like, if I'm fighting bottom allegations, left, right, and fucking center, tooth and nail. And who is alleging this? Everyone. Well, I don't know. The ghosts. I don't fucking know.

I know it. I know it. There's an energy. Right. I don't fucking know. Is there? Yes.

With an energy. Well, you rode something here. You rode a bike here.

So I'm like, I'm not seeing femmes as having this bottom energy. No, of course not. No, but that's because you are a femme. I think the thing is, I'm also wearing a tank top. It all changes if I've got on something different, you know. And I was going to go, I was like, I'm going to look as gay as possible. And this is as gay as I get. This is as gay as a gay. Wow, really? For me, maybe.

I don't know. Maybe it could get worse. Probably.

Oh, Were you closeted for a while? Babe, yeah, I was closeted for so long. Really? Yeah, it's actually so funny because I saw this photo. I'm going to actually have to show it to you right now. Yeah. Because I had this very conversation today and I was like, I don't understand why I had such an issue with just being gay. Like, what was my problem? But there's a funny backstory behind this photo.

So have a look at it. This is in, yeah, 2013. So if you have a look at her. Right. She's giving like major femme era. Right. Back then. OK. Yeah. We'll have Leah put that up. And that just doesn't look like you. So it doesn't look like me. Right. Because I was pretending to have boyfriends left, right and center.

The funny thing is about that photo is that that was just before I picked up my girlfriend from the airport, my long distance girlfriend who I made in like to stay in the closet with me.

oh shit what an asshole so you had a conversation yes and you have a boyfriend when you're here babe it's really bad because i was so petrified and like this was when i think i was probably about 20 there and i came out when i was 21 okay so i had started dating her when i just turned 19 and obviously long distance relationship it felt very safe for me because i was like brazil hot Yeah.

So I was like, OK, she's all the way in Brazil. Always wanted to go there. What a great excuse. Yep. And also I can lean into this thing without anyone knowing.

Exactly. Exactly. So if we were to go back to the beginning, I mean, when I was a kid, I had a mullet. I would only ever wear boys clothes.

I'm going to see the mullet. I'd love to see it. The mullet, I was bringing that in in 2005, I think, was my time.

This is a straight woman. I love dick. I was giving dick-loving energy. Not with a mullet.

That was mine too. Yeah. You were going to be a pester.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

I didn't know you would do that to me. I did. I kind of like, I want you to do like a rendition of like a sister act. Sister act four. But make it really lesbian. Yeah. I mean, it's already pretty lesbian. So all the nuns are like, yeah, lezzing off.

Could you sing?

Can you sing?

Can I sing? What about Sister Axe songs? Do we know any of them?

Of course not.

Yeah. Oh, Happy Gay. Oh, Happy Gay. Oh, Happy Gay. There we go. Oh, you can sing. Yeah, that's lesbian. Yeah. We actually can do everything. Yeah, we can do everything.