G Lane

You're just hurting.

It's worse than hurting sheep.

It's hurting cats.

It is the worst job in any... If someone asks you to be MC in a wedding... Just don't do it.

Immediately... This is my voice.

I always say to people...

Don't get any comedy material together because that's not your role.

Your role is come on, everyone.

Come on.

We're going through everyone.

I don't know when it became my job to get everyone sitting down for the ceremony, get everyone sitting down for the dinners, getting everyone sorted for the thing.

You were involved in the ceremony.

No, not really, but I had to make sure that – like she came up to me and said, you obviously know where everyone's sitting.

I've got no fucking idea where everyone's sitting at the ceremony.

Where everyone's sitting is not the MC's job.

So there's only one gag you need.

You go, the weather's been pretty average in the area lately.

There's been a few millimetres, hasn't there?

Which is incidentally what the bride will be getting tonight.

And then you're just on the back foot for the rest of the wedding after the silence that fills the room.