Gabby Bernstein

And I would suggest to them that the addict was just trying to protect them.

And I would suggest to them that the addict was just trying to protect them.

And I'd offer them the opportunity to consider that, right? Because when you're deep in your addiction, you're like, nope, I hate this part of myself. This part of myself is ruined by life. I'm a shame. I'm a horrible person. I'm, I'm, I'm. And to just even slightly tease that out a little and say, well, everybody here in this room, what is your addiction protecting you from?

And I'd offer them the opportunity to consider that, right? Because when you're deep in your addiction, you're like, nope, I hate this part of myself. This part of myself is ruined by life. I'm a shame. I'm a horrible person. I'm, I'm, I'm. And to just even slightly tease that out a little and say, well, everybody here in this room, what is your addiction protecting you from?

And every single one of them would say this trauma and that trauma and this trauma and that trauma stories flying through the room. And then we'd say, okay, well, so if you had this extreme experience that you don't know how to manage and you've been using this thing to manage those big feelings, you see how it's been trying to protect you?

And every single one of them would say this trauma and that trauma and this trauma and that trauma stories flying through the room. And then we'd say, okay, well, so if you had this extreme experience that you don't know how to manage and you've been using this thing to manage those big feelings, you see how it's been trying to protect you?

And when you look at it through that lens, how do you feel? And everyone in the room would say compassion.

And when you look at it through that lens, how do you feel? And everyone in the room would say compassion.

Not everyone. Not everybody was ready for the compassion. Sure, sure, sure. But it would come through.

Not everyone. Not everybody was ready for the compassion. Sure, sure, sure. But it would come through.

Cocaine and alcohol, yeah.

Cocaine and alcohol, yeah.

Well, work. I also had food, work, love. Sure, sure. It was like multifaceted.

Well, work. I also had food, work, love. Sure, sure. It was like multifaceted.

What it's saying is they have extreme traumatized little exiles inside and they've done everything they could to manage those feelings and that management didn't work anymore. And the firefighter of addiction has stepped in to put out the fire.

What it's saying is they have extreme traumatized little exiles inside and they've done everything they could to manage those feelings and that management didn't work anymore. And the firefighter of addiction has stepped in to put out the fire.

And they deserve compassion. They deserve connection. Now, if you're someone who's in a relationship with an addict and you've, you know, tried your best to do all the things, you know, sometimes the most kind and loving and compassionate thing to do is to cut yourself off. Wow.

And they deserve compassion. They deserve connection. Now, if you're someone who's in a relationship with an addict and you've, you know, tried your best to do all the things, you know, sometimes the most kind and loving and compassionate thing to do is to cut yourself off. Wow.

And I say that with, because this is sort of the premise of some of the 12 step work, which is some of the Al-Anon work, which is, well, let's not say Al-Anon, some of the codependency recovery work is, is, is really that, you know, you can't, can't, you don't enable the addict, right? But they all, but you have to trust that they have self inside.

And I say that with, because this is sort of the premise of some of the 12 step work, which is some of the Al-Anon work, which is, well, let's not say Al-Anon, some of the codependency recovery work is, is, is really that, you know, you can't, can't, you don't enable the addict, right? But they all, but you have to trust that they have self inside.