Gabby Bernstein

She taught me to meditate as a child. I had a lot of spiritual imprints. But by the time I was in my early 20s, I picked up a lot of protectors. And I had probably had them all throughout high school and throughout my life. And they were really protectors like love addiction. I felt like if I'm not in a relationship, I might die.

And I remember one day I was feeling so much shame around that love addiction. My best friend from high school said to me, this is when I was in my early 20s. He said, you know, Gabby, you're never single. What's wrong with you? You're never single. And I was like, oh, that's really shameful. I don't like that feeling. And so he said, I'm going to put down that. And what happened the next day?

And I remember one day I was feeling so much shame around that love addiction. My best friend from high school said to me, this is when I was in my early 20s. He said, you know, Gabby, you're never single. What's wrong with you? You're never single. And I was like, oh, that's really shameful. I don't like that feeling. And so he said, I'm going to put down that. And what happened the next day?

And I remember one day I was feeling so much shame around that love addiction. My best friend from high school said to me, this is when I was in my early 20s. He said, you know, Gabby, you're never single. What's wrong with you? You're never single. And I was like, oh, that's really shameful. I don't like that feeling. And so he said, I'm going to put down that. And what happened the next day?

I picked up cocaine. transferred protectors, right? So for some reason, that relationship made me feel safe from some impermissible feeling, and that was how I was protecting myself. And then when I put that down, I picked up the Coke. And then when I picked up the Coke, that was a big, hard bottom. I hit bottom fast, by the grace of God, 25 years old, 19 years ago to this month. And

I picked up cocaine. transferred protectors, right? So for some reason, that relationship made me feel safe from some impermissible feeling, and that was how I was protecting myself. And then when I put that down, I picked up the Coke. And then when I picked up the Coke, that was a big, hard bottom. I hit bottom fast, by the grace of God, 25 years old, 19 years ago to this month. And

I picked up cocaine. transferred protectors, right? So for some reason, that relationship made me feel safe from some impermissible feeling, and that was how I was protecting myself. And then when I put that down, I picked up the Coke. And then when I picked up the Coke, that was a big, hard bottom. I hit bottom fast, by the grace of God, 25 years old, 19 years ago to this month. And

And when I got clean and sober, I took away the drink and the drug, but then I had all these other protectors that started to emerge, right? So workaholism and people-pleasing and controlling. So I had all these other protectors keeping me in place. And then about 10 years into my sober recovery and about six or seven books in and having this Being a teacher, I was 36 years old.

And when I got clean and sober, I took away the drink and the drug, but then I had all these other protectors that started to emerge, right? So workaholism and people-pleasing and controlling. So I had all these other protectors keeping me in place. And then about 10 years into my sober recovery and about six or seven books in and having this Being a teacher, I was 36 years old.

And when I got clean and sober, I took away the drink and the drug, but then I had all these other protectors that started to emerge, right? So workaholism and people-pleasing and controlling. So I had all these other protectors keeping me in place. And then about 10 years into my sober recovery and about six or seven books in and having this Being a teacher, I was 36 years old.

I was deep in my career. I had a dream. And in that dream, I remembered being sexually abused as a child. And all throughout my recovery of my sobriety, I was like, why did I use? I had a great childhood. Why did I use? I was dissociating and that is a protector as well. So the memory helped me really solidify the reason why

I was deep in my career. I had a dream. And in that dream, I remembered being sexually abused as a child. And all throughout my recovery of my sobriety, I was like, why did I use? I had a great childhood. Why did I use? I was dissociating and that is a protector as well. So the memory helped me really solidify the reason why

I was deep in my career. I had a dream. And in that dream, I remembered being sexually abused as a child. And all throughout my recovery of my sobriety, I was like, why did I use? I had a great childhood. Why did I use? I was dissociating and that is a protector as well. So the memory helped me really solidify the reason why

the inciting incident, the trauma that led me to, one of the traumas that led me to protect myself in these ways. And then as I continued to journey in my trauma recovery, I began to peel back the layers of the onion and recognize that these protectors were so, so, so extreme. And that even though they led to cocaine addiction or shameful love addiction or workaholism that burnt me out or

the inciting incident, the trauma that led me to, one of the traumas that led me to protect myself in these ways. And then as I continued to journey in my trauma recovery, I began to peel back the layers of the onion and recognize that these protectors were so, so, so extreme. And that even though they led to cocaine addiction or shameful love addiction or workaholism that burnt me out or

the inciting incident, the trauma that led me to, one of the traumas that led me to protect myself in these ways. And then as I continued to journey in my trauma recovery, I began to peel back the layers of the onion and recognize that these protectors were so, so, so extreme. And that even though they led to cocaine addiction or shameful love addiction or workaholism that burnt me out or

extreme controlling patterns that might have harmed other people emotionally, that I could have compassion for all of these parts of myself because they were working so, so hard to push down that impermissible feeling from my childhood and to hide it. And then when it emerged, I had no other choice but to face it.

extreme controlling patterns that might have harmed other people emotionally, that I could have compassion for all of these parts of myself because they were working so, so hard to push down that impermissible feeling from my childhood and to hide it. And then when it emerged, I had no other choice but to face it.

extreme controlling patterns that might have harmed other people emotionally, that I could have compassion for all of these parts of myself because they were working so, so hard to push down that impermissible feeling from my childhood and to hide it. And then when it emerged, I had no other choice but to face it.

And so the past nine years, I've been really deep in my IFS work, my trauma recovery, and of course my spiritual development. And what I'm so proud of is that courage to do that. So just to define protectors from that place, there's different types of protectors, right? There's managers that are like gonna control everything to feel safe.