Gabby Bernstein

These are the little, young, traumatized children that had nowhere to go, no one to care for them, no one to support them. And we said, I'm going to lock that up. I'm going to send them into the basement. Don't ever talk to that person. See that part of me ever again.

These are the little, young, traumatized children that had nowhere to go, no one to care for them, no one to support them. And we said, I'm going to lock that up. I'm going to send them into the basement. Don't ever talk to that person. See that part of me ever again.

And at three years old, five years old, whatever it is, we start to decide, I'm going to do this to protect myself from feeling this. So Ollie's the perfect example. I got bullied. I'm going to start to be the boss so that I never have to feel that fear again of that bully.

And at three years old, five years old, whatever it is, we start to decide, I'm going to do this to protect myself from feeling this. So Ollie's the perfect example. I got bullied. I'm going to start to be the boss so that I never have to feel that fear again of that bully.

Everyone.

Everyone.

Yeah. And we have and then lots of different protectors and there's two types of protectors. So you're still tracking with me here. I know you are. I just want to make sure that the audience is still tracking with me. I'm going to take this slow. So exiled parts of the young traumatized little children don't want to feel those feelings. So they're too extreme, right, Lewis?

Yeah. And we have and then lots of different protectors and there's two types of protectors. So you're still tracking with me here. I know you are. I just want to make sure that the audience is still tracking with me. I'm going to take this slow. So exiled parts of the young traumatized little children don't want to feel those feelings. So they're too extreme, right, Lewis?

It's like, how could a child, you can't understand it. Your brain's not able to process it. Most adult brains don't have the ability to process that. Or most parents would say, you're fine, you're fine. Just get shut down. If you even did bring it to somebody, you'd be shut down, right? Especially with, or in cases of, you know, real extreme trauma, you don't feel safe enough to talk about it.

It's like, how could a child, you can't understand it. Your brain's not able to process it. Most adult brains don't have the ability to process that. Or most parents would say, you're fine, you're fine. Just get shut down. If you even did bring it to somebody, you'd be shut down, right? Especially with, or in cases of, you know, real extreme trauma, you don't feel safe enough to talk about it.

Shut it down. Then you build up these protection mechanisms, protector parts. And there's two types of protector parts. But in my book, I really just focus on one type. So we'll stay close to that. There's managers and firefighters. And so the managers are who we talk about in the book. Because the firefighters are who I want people to go to therapy to work with. But the managers are...

Shut it down. Then you build up these protection mechanisms, protector parts. And there's two types of protector parts. But in my book, I really just focus on one type. So we'll stay close to that. There's managers and firefighters. And so the managers are who we talk about in the book. Because the firefighters are who I want people to go to therapy to work with. But the managers are...

The control-free, you know, for me, I'm just gonna name my managers, you know, like one would be like Knives Out is another one I named. Like if you with me, I'm like Knives Are Out. Like, you know, like, you know. Destroy you, yeah. That's a manager. Vigilance was a manager for me. Just sort of like anxiety was kind of a manager for me. Think about it, anxiety, right?

The control-free, you know, for me, I'm just gonna name my managers, you know, like one would be like Knives Out is another one I named. Like if you with me, I'm like Knives Are Out. Like, you know, like, you know. Destroy you, yeah. That's a manager. Vigilance was a manager for me. Just sort of like anxiety was kind of a manager for me. Think about it, anxiety, right?

If I'm anxious and I'm, you know, moving, moving, moving so fast, like when you first met me, totally out of my body, hadn't remembered the trauma yet, totally scared. It's been a crime when I think about that time, you know. That anxiety was actually a form of protection.

If I'm anxious and I'm, you know, moving, moving, moving so fast, like when you first met me, totally out of my body, hadn't remembered the trauma yet, totally scared. It's been a crime when I think about that time, you know. That anxiety was actually a form of protection.

Because if I'm in an anxious state, I don't have to feel the horror and the fear and terror of that other state. So that's a manager, the parts of us that are with us all day long, managing the big feelings of the exile. Okay.

Because if I'm in an anxious state, I don't have to feel the horror and the fear and terror of that other state. So that's a manager, the parts of us that are with us all day long, managing the big feelings of the exile. Okay.

And then when the managers don't work anymore, like let's say something very big happens in your life, something extreme, and the managing is no longer working, that's when the firefighters come in. The firefighters will do whatever it takes to put out the fire of those impermissible feelings. And that's when you pick up the drugs, pick up the workaholism, pick up the

And then when the managers don't work anymore, like let's say something very big happens in your life, something extreme, and the managing is no longer working, that's when the firefighters come in. The firefighters will do whatever it takes to put out the fire of those impermissible feelings. And that's when you pick up the drugs, pick up the workaholism, pick up the