Gabby Bernstein

In the case for you and myself, having sexual abuse as children. So sometimes it could be extreme traumas like that, or it could be something along the lines of being bullied in the classroom or being told that you're stupid by your teacher. These moments in time are so extreme for our child brains to process, right? We don't have the resources. We don't have the brain capacity.

In the case for you and myself, having sexual abuse as children. So sometimes it could be extreme traumas like that, or it could be something along the lines of being bullied in the classroom or being told that you're stupid by your teacher. These moments in time are so extreme for our child brains to process, right? We don't have the resources. We don't have the brain capacity.

And oftentimes we don't have the parents or caregivers to help us process these extreme disturbances.

And oftentimes we don't have the parents or caregivers to help us process these extreme disturbances.

Or in the case of you and me, we don't have anyone to tell.

Or in the case of you and me, we don't have anyone to tell.

Right. Or we're too afraid to tell.

Right. Or we're too afraid to tell.

Or in my case, I dissociated. Didn't even have the memory, right? And so what do we do? We build up protection mechanisms. For me, one of those protection mechanisms was straight up dissociation, like left my body, like dissociated from reality.

Or in my case, I dissociated. Didn't even have the memory, right? And so what do we do? We build up protection mechanisms. For me, one of those protection mechanisms was straight up dissociation, like left my body, like dissociated from reality.

For others, it could be, and this is young, at a young, young age, you know, it could be, okay, this thing happened to you as a child and all of a sudden you go into this extreme protection mechanism of trying to be perfect because you had this shameful experience. So perfection makes you feel safe. Or you give my son, for an example, I have a six-year-old son.

For others, it could be, and this is young, at a young, young age, you know, it could be, okay, this thing happened to you as a child and all of a sudden you go into this extreme protection mechanism of trying to be perfect because you had this shameful experience. So perfection makes you feel safe. Or you give my son, for an example, I have a six-year-old son.

When he was three years old, he was in a Montessori program. And so it was three to six-year-olds. There was a six-year-old in his class and he was just out of diapers. And that six-year-old was sort of like, you know, who is this three-year-old? I don't want anything to do with him. I mean, it was just kind of bossy to him. And at a very young age, all he learned, like, I got to be the boss.

When he was three years old, he was in a Montessori program. And so it was three to six-year-olds. There was a six-year-old in his class and he was just out of diapers. And that six-year-old was sort of like, you know, who is this three-year-old? I don't want anything to do with him. I mean, it was just kind of bossy to him. And at a very young age, all he learned, like, I got to be the boss.

Because that was so extreme. This kid is bigger. I want to be like him. He hates me. He tells me he hates me. He tells me to leave him alone. It's just kids are mean. But my little boy has this thing of I got to be the boss. So he's got this misguided belief. I need to be a boss. So what does he do? Walks around with his Nerf gun, you know, and he walks around like like with this like his shooter.

Because that was so extreme. This kid is bigger. I want to be like him. He hates me. He tells me he hates me. He tells me to leave him alone. It's just kids are mean. But my little boy has this thing of I got to be the boss. So he's got this misguided belief. I need to be a boss. So what does he do? Walks around with his Nerf gun, you know, and he walks around like like with this like his shooter.

He's like, I'm the boss. You know, this is like little innocent six year old. But he wants to be the boss because he's protecting himself from that feeling from three years old. OK, I watched this whole part develop in a person. So an extreme thing happens, big or small. In the case of Ollie, it was a six-year-old, right? In the case of me, it was something much more extreme.

He's like, I'm the boss. You know, this is like little innocent six year old. But he wants to be the boss because he's protecting himself from that feeling from three years old. OK, I watched this whole part develop in a person. So an extreme thing happens, big or small. In the case of Ollie, it was a six-year-old, right? In the case of me, it was something much more extreme.

Hopefully, Holly never has to experience that. But whatever it is, we have extreme experiences and we exile them. We exile them. Those are called exiled parts of us.

Hopefully, Holly never has to experience that. But whatever it is, we have extreme experiences and we exile them. We exile them. Those are called exiled parts of us.