Gabby Bryan

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, can I match with this person? Yeah, where you're like, oh, my God, Eric Andre. Eric Andre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The amount of times I'll like Eric Andre and he is not liking me back. Eric, if you're out there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, can I match with this person? Yeah, where you're like, oh, my God, Eric Andre. Eric Andre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The amount of times I'll like Eric Andre and he is not liking me back. Eric, if you're out there.

Bring Algo. He hasn't seen you yet. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Yeah, but then I'll, like, go on dates with people on Raya. Really? I'm not going to waste my time.

Bring Algo. He hasn't seen you yet. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Yeah, but then I'll, like, go on dates with people on Raya. Really? I'm not going to waste my time.

Who cares?

Who cares?

Yeah. I'm 5'10". I'm 5'10", too. Yeah. This is not about, like, manners with us. We are just tall women.

Yeah. I'm 5'10". I'm 5'10", too. Yeah. This is not about, like, manners with us. We are just tall women.

And I want to wear a fun shoe. Yeah.

And I want to wear a fun shoe. Yeah.

She likes a fun shoe. So I say in my bio, I say I'm 5'10". Yeah. Know that before investing in my company. That's my bio. And then I ask them straight up. I say, how tall are you?

She likes a fun shoe. So I say in my bio, I say I'm 5'10". Yeah. Know that before investing in my company. That's my bio. And then I ask them straight up. I say, how tall are you?

And then there's something about getting an implant where they're like, I mean, my nipples could cut diamonds.

And then there's something about getting an implant where they're like, I mean, my nipples could cut diamonds.

Now, now it's like, they're like slicing my shirts. Yeah.

Now, now it's like, they're like slicing my shirts. Yeah.

Dating dating is six foot, 5'11". Really? Yeah, but he was English, so it sort of like made up for it.

Dating dating is six foot, 5'11". Really? Yeah, but he was English, so it sort of like made up for it.

I'm such a picky bitch. Yeah. Where I'll also like... Like I'm so used to being around broke idiots that it's like my comfort zone almost. Where I'm like, I'll pay for dinner. Be tall.

I'm such a picky bitch. Yeah. Where I'll also like... Like I'm so used to being around broke idiots that it's like my comfort zone almost. Where I'm like, I'll pay for dinner. Be tall.

Yeah, and I'm from the Jersey Shore. Like, you know, I love a skateboarder. I love a gold tooth. I, yes, I love, one time I dated a man who had no front teeth.

Yeah, and I'm from the Jersey Shore. Like, you know, I love a skateboarder. I love a gold tooth. I, yes, I love, one time I dated a man who had no front teeth.

But gold teeth right next to it. Okay, hot. Yeah, I like a really fucked up looking individual. You do great in LA. No, they're losers.

But gold teeth right next to it. Okay, hot. Yeah, I like a really fucked up looking individual. You do great in LA. No, they're losers.

Yeah, and it's so annoying. It's like, you're gonna be a part of it. Yeah. Don't... Be funny. Don't fight. Don't fight it. Yeah, don't... Don't be annoying then. Yeah. But no, I don't even really talk about dating that much in my act now. I used to all the time and it was ruining relationships. So I've actually decided to tone that back a little bit for my own health and wellness. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and it's so annoying. It's like, you're gonna be a part of it. Yeah. Don't... Be funny. Don't fight. Don't fight it. Yeah, don't... Don't be annoying then. Yeah. But no, I don't even really talk about dating that much in my act now. I used to all the time and it was ruining relationships. So I've actually decided to tone that back a little bit for my own health and wellness. Yeah. Yeah.

Now I just talk about Botox and, you know, shitting my pants and stuff like that. Yeah. So, yeah, but it takes a very strong man. But also, I'm crazy on stage and, like, really high energy and wild. And then in real life, I'm actually much quieter and shyer than I am. Shyer, is that a word? It doesn't matter. It's okay. Yeah.

Now I just talk about Botox and, you know, shitting my pants and stuff like that. Yeah. So, yeah, but it takes a very strong man. But also, I'm crazy on stage and, like, really high energy and wild. And then in real life, I'm actually much quieter and shyer than I am. Shyer, is that a word? It doesn't matter. It's okay. Yeah.

So I think it takes a lot for men to – there's a whiplash element where they go, who the fuck is that?

So I think it takes a lot for men to – there's a whiplash element where they go, who the fuck is that?

Three days. Yeah, yeah. Here's the thing. I want a guy to tell me to shut the fuck up.

Three days. Yeah, yeah. Here's the thing. I want a guy to tell me to shut the fuck up.

And I'm such a little fucking sub in relationships because I'm such a dom in real life.

And I'm such a little fucking sub in relationships because I'm such a dom in real life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm begging you to tell me what to do. I'm so busy answering emails that I don't have time to plan regular life. Yeah. You do that while mommy's working.

I'm begging you to tell me what to do. I'm so busy answering emails that I don't have time to plan regular life. Yeah. You do that while mommy's working.

Wait, I've never even met a VP.

Wait, I've never even met a VP.

He was a VP. The richest guy I've ever dated, he was a Wall Street trader. And I, like, didn't understand what that meant. And I was like, is that treason? Like, what do you mean? Trader? The king is not going to love that.

He was a VP. The richest guy I've ever dated, he was a Wall Street trader. And I, like, didn't understand what that meant. And I was like, is that treason? Like, what do you mean? Trader? The king is not going to love that.

I don't know how to use my oven, but I'll figure it out. Yeah. If you invest in me, I'll invest in you.

I don't know how to use my oven, but I'll figure it out. Yeah. If you invest in me, I'll invest in you.

I, no. Well, here's the thing. My fan base is girlies. Maybe. lesbians, gay guys, and a random... There would be someone's boyfriend here and there. And I don't know how this happened. Men are allowed at my shows. Maybe they're just a little nervous around me. But I get stormed by lesbians. Lesbians are knocking at my door, okay?

I, no. Well, here's the thing. My fan base is girlies. Maybe. lesbians, gay guys, and a random... There would be someone's boyfriend here and there. And I don't know how this happened. Men are allowed at my shows. Maybe they're just a little nervous around me. But I get stormed by lesbians. Lesbians are knocking at my door, okay?

So if I really... And I am bisexual, but only when I'm feeling French. So like... If I wanted to, I could be like eating pussy all over this country.

So if I really... And I am bisexual, but only when I'm feeling French. So like... If I wanted to, I could be like eating pussy all over this country.

Box city. Just box them out. I know, but I'm really into boys right now. I don't want to make my lesbians mad, but I'm having a boy moment. I'll be back to you guys later.

Box city. Just box them out. I know, but I'm really into boys right now. I don't want to make my lesbians mad, but I'm having a boy moment. I'll be back to you guys later.

He is so hot. I'm into like a real rugged, toxic masculinity right now.

He is so hot. I'm into like a real rugged, toxic masculinity right now.

Like when... When Beth like killed the guy, I don't want to give anything away, killed the guy and then Rip had to get rid of the body. She was like, you know what to do with that, right? Yeah. That's my dream. That's my dream. Yeah. So I don't often like hook up on tour, but also I'm like kind of boring on tour where I do a show and then I go home. Yeah. Is it exhausting? Yeah.

Like when... When Beth like killed the guy, I don't want to give anything away, killed the guy and then Rip had to get rid of the body. She was like, you know what to do with that, right? Yeah. That's my dream. That's my dream. Yeah. So I don't often like hook up on tour, but also I'm like kind of boring on tour where I do a show and then I go home. Yeah. Is it exhausting? Yeah.

It's nonstop. And then I do the meet and greets afterwards, which is another hour of talking to people, which is awesome. But then I'm, like, talked out.

It's nonstop. And then I do the meet and greets afterwards, which is another hour of talking to people, which is awesome. But then I'm, like, talked out.

No, I have a Kindle. Oh, smart. But I'll read it on an airplane. I was sitting middle seat this past trip, wherever I was coming back from, reading one of the most graphic scenes. I was like... Like trying to block. But I'm in between two older people who are also reading books, but they're reading about like Einstein or some shit. And I'm like, he shoves his cock in my gut.

No, I have a Kindle. Oh, smart. But I'll read it on an airplane. I was sitting middle seat this past trip, wherever I was coming back from, reading one of the most graphic scenes. I was like... Like trying to block. But I'm in between two older people who are also reading books, but they're reading about like Einstein or some shit. And I'm like, he shoves his cock in my gut.

And I was like, I was reading. It was like this close to my face.

And I was like, I was reading. It was like this close to my face.

And then I'm squinting a little bit. I love being in an airport because you feel like a sexy, mysterious stranger. And that's my favorite emotion.

And then I'm squinting a little bit. I love being in an airport because you feel like a sexy, mysterious stranger. And that's my favorite emotion.

Yeah. I'm trying to shift my behavior because usually when I go on a flight, I look the worst I've ever looked at my life.

Yeah. I'm trying to shift my behavior because usually when I go on a flight, I look the worst I've ever looked at my life.

I know. I'm shifting this because now I talk to so many people in the audience and they go, I met my husband in the airport. I met my father on a plane. And now I'm like, oh my God, I need to be wearing a pencil skirt at Delta.

I know. I'm shifting this because now I talk to so many people in the audience and they go, I met my husband in the airport. I met my father on a plane. And now I'm like, oh my God, I need to be wearing a pencil skirt at Delta.

They're having fun.

They're having fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, like, when you go to the bathrooms at the box, and there's, um, candles. You know what I'm talking about? Is this a deep cut?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, like, when you go to the bathrooms at the box, and there's, um, candles. You know what I'm talking about? Is this a deep cut?

Yes. Oh, I see that for you. When I was in college, I dated the lighting designer of the box, so I would just go alone all the time while he was working. And it's very – talk about being alone in an airport. Yeah. Being alone at the box, witnessing what you witness. Oh, my God. Like, sitting – I would just sit in one of the upper booths and watch like this. Yes.

Yes. Oh, I see that for you. When I was in college, I dated the lighting designer of the box, so I would just go alone all the time while he was working. And it's very – talk about being alone in an airport. Yeah. Being alone at the box, witnessing what you witness. Oh, my God. Like, sitting – I would just sit in one of the upper booths and watch like this. Yes.

What's the craziest thing you've done with a guy? I'm actually not crazy, and I hate to, like, pop the... It's so boring. I know. I'm pretty, like, calm in a relationship because I'm so crazy on stage. Yeah. So I really am just like Nara Smith. Yeah. I'm just like a cutie pie.

What's the craziest thing you've done with a guy? I'm actually not crazy, and I hate to, like, pop the... It's so boring. I know. I'm pretty, like, calm in a relationship because I'm so crazy on stage. Yeah. So I really am just like Nara Smith. Yeah. I'm just like a cutie pie.

I was A. I was like a double A. A double A?

I was A. I was like a double A. A double A?

I don't think I have enough trauma with men.

I don't think I have enough trauma with men.

But I date a lot of like really depressed, like sad. Oh, sad boys? You like sad boys? You know, like goth. Did you just want to say Diplo? Diplo. I date a Diplo. Ah!

But I date a lot of like really depressed, like sad. Oh, sad boys? You like sad boys? You know, like goth. Did you just want to say Diplo? Diplo. I date a Diplo. Ah!

Yeah, he did. And the beat dropped. Yeah, I date a lot of like sad boys who are just like addicted to me. Like, you know, they're like giving up heroin and now they're like addicted to me. That's what I like. So they actually stalk me, follow me, you know, stuff like that. Nice. And then I'm like, stop. Stop.

Yeah, he did. And the beat dropped. Yeah, I date a lot of like sad boys who are just like addicted to me. Like, you know, they're like giving up heroin and now they're like addicted to me. That's what I like. So they actually stalk me, follow me, you know, stuff like that. Nice. And then I'm like, stop. Stop.

Stop, don't stop, stop. Stop, stop. You're embarrassing me.

Stop, don't stop, stop. Stop, stop. You're embarrassing me.

Okay. But have you ever cheated? No. But one time I like got really close. Really? Emotionally or physically? Physically. Okay. One time I was like really rubbing up against a guy on a bachelorette party while I was like just about to break up with my boyfriend.

Okay. But have you ever cheated? No. But one time I like got really close. Really? Emotionally or physically? Physically. Okay. One time I was like really rubbing up against a guy on a bachelorette party while I was like just about to break up with my boyfriend.

Yeah. So it was actually kind of cute.

Yeah. So it was actually kind of cute.

And when I see a bicep, because I'm from the Jersey Shore and I really like a meathead, when I see a loose bicep, it's like when a man sees big tits. I'm hypnotized. And I have to grab at them.

And when I see a bicep, because I'm from the Jersey Shore and I really like a meathead, when I see a loose bicep, it's like when a man sees big tits. I'm hypnotized. And I have to grab at them.

I don't understand why double only exists in whatever. A's and D's. So I Ubered to the hospital.

I don't understand why double only exists in whatever. A's and D's. So I Ubered to the hospital.

Yeah, let's undo history by continuing history. Yeah, 100%. I was raised by this crazy hippie mom who wore cowboy boots and never had makeup on and had big tits, and she was just so hot. And when we were growing up, we would pull up next to construction sites, and she would roll down the windows, and we would all catcall the construction workers. Yes.

Yeah, let's undo history by continuing history. Yeah, 100%. I was raised by this crazy hippie mom who wore cowboy boots and never had makeup on and had big tits, and she was just so hot. And when we were growing up, we would pull up next to construction sites, and she would roll down the windows, and we would all catcall the construction workers. Yes.

So that's actually what I thought catcalling was.

So that's actually what I thought catcalling was.

Where I'm like, yeah, I've done it.

Where I'm like, yeah, I've done it.

Take it off. So to me, I am like, I am such a little frat boy.

Take it off. So to me, I am like, I am such a little frat boy.

Yeah, don't we all? Yeah. If you don't have childhood trauma, I mean, move to Indiana. Like, why are you in New York City? Right?

Yeah, don't we all? Yeah. If you don't have childhood trauma, I mean, move to Indiana. Like, why are you in New York City? Right?

That's what I've just realized recently. Where I just like chaos because my childhood was such chaos. It was chaos? Yeah.

That's what I've just realized recently. Where I just like chaos because my childhood was such chaos. It was chaos? Yeah.

I just grew up on tour with my dad and then my mom lived on this farm next to a puppy mill and it was like real white trash. So I grew up really like half white trash and smoking cigarettes inside. No teeth.

I just grew up on tour with my dad and then my mom lived on this farm next to a puppy mill and it was like real white trash. So I grew up really like half white trash and smoking cigarettes inside. No teeth.

Did they smoke cigs in the car? Of course.

Did they smoke cigs in the car? Of course.

course windows up your windows up smoking cigs big dunkin donuts so trash you know what i'm talking about yeah smoking cigs chewing bubble gum at the same time wow that okay so that was like my white trash side and then my dad was like it's like this rock star and we'd go on tour all the time but he was raised by these north jersey jews that were very like traditional yeah

course windows up your windows up smoking cigs big dunkin donuts so trash you know what i'm talking about yeah smoking cigs chewing bubble gum at the same time wow that okay so that was like my white trash side and then my dad was like it's like this rock star and we'd go on tour all the time but he was raised by these north jersey jews that were very like traditional yeah

So it was a combination. It was a real smoothie of different cultures.

So it was a combination. It was a real smoothie of different cultures.

New Jersey, baby.

New Jersey, baby.

That just ended up in chaos. And then that's why I'm like. So fun. Well, your dad was the, I don't know how to say it.

That just ended up in chaos. And then that's why I'm like. So fun. Well, your dad was the, I don't know how to say it.

Okay, yeah, yeah. I literally Ubered to the hospital. I got there and the nurse was like, oh, okay, so come on the back. You paid, right? And I was like, I think so. Are you going to let me in here? I didn't even pay. I would have clarned this if I knew. And then it was so easy. I'm going to get everything done. I'm going to get everything nipped, tucked, tied. I don't care.

Okay, yeah, yeah. I literally Ubered to the hospital. I got there and the nurse was like, oh, okay, so come on the back. You paid, right? And I was like, I think so. Are you going to let me in here? I didn't even pay. I would have clarned this if I knew. And then it was so easy. I'm going to get everything done. I'm going to get everything nipped, tucked, tied. I don't care.

And then they divorced when I was like 11. Okay. Yeah.

And then they divorced when I was like 11. Okay. Yeah.

And you didn't go, you weren't like, take me down to the funeral home.

And you didn't go, you weren't like, take me down to the funeral home.

Best date, fresh on my mind because it was with the lighting designer of the box. So I'm like really obsessed with like, The macabre circuses, you know, carnies like I really like a freak show. Yeah. So he took me to Coney Island for the first time. I had never been. We got like fucked up on like, you know, like blue slushy drinks. And we went to a freak show at that classic Coney Island.

Best date, fresh on my mind because it was with the lighting designer of the box. So I'm like really obsessed with like, The macabre circuses, you know, carnies like I really like a freak show. Yeah. So he took me to Coney Island for the first time. I had never been. We got like fucked up on like, you know, like blue slushy drinks. And we went to a freak show at that classic Coney Island.

Freak show theater.

Freak show theater.

And then we made out on the beach.

And then we made out on the beach.

Best date.

Best date.

Because you know what? It wasn't classic. It wasn't dinner. I don't want to have fucking dinner with you. I don't have the time.

Because you know what? It wasn't classic. It wasn't dinner. I don't want to have fucking dinner with you. I don't have the time.

And I don't want to cut everything into tiny little.

And I don't want to cut everything into tiny little.

And then we could sit there and talk about all the freaks we saw.

And then we could sit there and talk about all the freaks we saw.

I don't want to hear about your childhood in Connecticut. No, no, no. I want to talk about the freak we just saw.

I don't want to hear about your childhood in Connecticut. No, no, no. I want to talk about the freak we just saw.

Did you like The Freak? Who was your favorite freak? Yeah, yeah. Should we take The Freak home? If you were a freak, what would you freak out doing?

Did you like The Freak? Who was your favorite freak? Yeah, yeah. Should we take The Freak home? If you were a freak, what would you freak out doing?

Take me to a freak show. Take me to a freak off. Like, let's have fun. That was the best date. And then the worst date... I haven't had a lot of really bad dates other than like just bad conversation where you leave.

Take me to a freak show. Take me to a freak off. Like, let's have fun. That was the best date. And then the worst date... I haven't had a lot of really bad dates other than like just bad conversation where you leave.

But one time I was out with this guy who I actually ended up dating. And I have this thing about me where people tell me secrets.

But one time I was out with this guy who I actually ended up dating. And I have this thing about me where people tell me secrets.

I have a theory. It's because I look like everyone's cousin.

I have a theory. It's because I look like everyone's cousin.

Everyone goes, I feel like I know you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everyone goes, I feel like I know you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just look like everyone's cool cousin home from college. Yeah. So people say, I have to tell you something. Don't tell my mom. Like that's the vibe. Yeah. Yeah. So I was out with this guy. We had, like, a will-they-won't-they for a while. And then we were, like, at a party sitting, you know, outside hanging out really late. And he told me that he once killed a guy. Shut up. Yeah.

I just look like everyone's cool cousin home from college. Yeah. So people say, I have to tell you something. Don't tell my mom. Like that's the vibe. Yeah. Yeah. So I was out with this guy. We had, like, a will-they-won't-they for a while. And then we were, like, at a party sitting, you know, outside hanging out really late. And he told me that he once killed a guy. Shut up. Yeah.

I fully dated him. I thought it was kind of cool.

I fully dated him. I thought it was kind of cool.

Yeah, I really, I don't know what it is. I think I'm just nonjudgmental to the point where you could tell me you killed a guy and I'll still date you. Was he tall? He was so hot. I mean, he was so hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, he was hot. Obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was, like, technically probably the worst date because I'm, like, now, you know, involved in some sort of murder.

Yeah, I really, I don't know what it is. I think I'm just nonjudgmental to the point where you could tell me you killed a guy and I'll still date you. Was he tall? He was so hot. I mean, he was so hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, he was hot. Obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was, like, technically probably the worst date because I'm, like, now, you know, involved in some sort of murder.

I didn't Uber home. Well, I had to stay overnight and they like hired a nurse for me. Oh, fancy. Yeah. Okay. So I just had like a little Irish nurse. I think she was Irish or I was on Vicodin.

I didn't Uber home. Well, I had to stay overnight and they like hired a nurse for me. Oh, fancy. Yeah. Okay. So I just had like a little Irish nurse. I think she was Irish or I was on Vicodin.

Your mind immediately didn't go to 9-11?

Your mind immediately didn't go to 9-11?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're totally on Vicodin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're totally on Vicodin.

Here's the thing that I think about a lot is, like, do you think my U.S. spy is, like, talking to my Chinese spy? Oh, for sure. And what if they fell in love? Yep. And I'm the meet cute.

Here's the thing that I think about a lot is, like, do you think my U.S. spy is, like, talking to my Chinese spy? Oh, for sure. And what if they fell in love? Yep. And I'm the meet cute.

Just because like my TikTok is so girl focused. And then my Instagram is a little more boy focused. And he feels like a, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Patriot. Yeah. And then he falls in love with the little Chinese girl. Yeah. And he's just trying to do his duty. Yeah.

Just because like my TikTok is so girl focused. And then my Instagram is a little more boy focused. And he feels like a, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Patriot. Yeah. And then he falls in love with the little Chinese girl. Yeah. And he's just trying to do his duty. Yeah.

Oh, wait. I just came up with one the other day. Fuck, what was it? My biggest man ick... Well, short is my biggest ick and I've speak to that and men get really upset at me, but it's like, mind your business. Yeah. It's not, you have, um, there is a sea of short girls in this world that you get to choose from. I'm a tall person and I get to discriminate.

Oh, wait. I just came up with one the other day. Fuck, what was it? My biggest man ick... Well, short is my biggest ick and I've speak to that and men get really upset at me, but it's like, mind your business. Yeah. It's not, you have, um, there is a sea of short girls in this world that you get to choose from. I'm a tall person and I get to discriminate.

I went on tour one week later.

I went on tour one week later.

I think it's, like, don't be a bitch. Yay. Like... Like, I've said it a million times because I mean it and I'm manifesting it. Grab me by the back of my neck. Yeah. And throw me in an Uber Black. Yeah. Okay. And take me wherever you want. Yeah. Like, I hate when a guy's like, do you want to get drinks?

I think it's, like, don't be a bitch. Yay. Like... Like, I've said it a million times because I mean it and I'm manifesting it. Grab me by the back of my neck. Yeah. And throw me in an Uber Black. Yeah. Okay. And take me wherever you want. Yeah. Like, I hate when a guy's like, do you want to get drinks?

No, I'm busy. No, say you have to quit your job. I don't think women should work.

No, I'm busy. No, say you have to quit your job. I don't think women should work.

Be like, you're quitting your job. Yeah, yeah, that would be super hot. I don't think I have any other ex. I had a good one, but I'm forgetting what it was. Me too.

Be like, you're quitting your job. Yeah, yeah, that would be super hot. I don't think I have any other ex. I had a good one, but I'm forgetting what it was. Me too.

What happened? And if a woman is carrying a backpack, that's... I mean, it's so much worse.

What happened? And if a woman is carrying a backpack, that's... I mean, it's so much worse.

I just had my little fake coach bag. I had my fake Louis Vuitton. I would take the New Jersey Transit in with $100 cash, and I'd buy a fake Louis Vuitton. What are those things called? Carry-all.

I just had my little fake coach bag. I had my fake Louis Vuitton. I would take the New Jersey Transit in with $100 cash, and I'd buy a fake Louis Vuitton. What are those things called? Carry-all.

And then I put my binders in it like a fucking adult.

And then I put my binders in it like a fucking adult.

Also, of course, and you know he's never washed that.

Also, of course, and you know he's never washed that.

like hook up with these dudes and allow them to like we all need to like start a union it's really upsetting i once dated a guy who i did obviously end up dating for a year who had a sleeping bag on his bed and i went no so is that a sleeping bag and he said yep and i went all right just on the bed on the bed wow no fitted sheet and this was like a fashionable man hmm

like hook up with these dudes and allow them to like we all need to like start a union it's really upsetting i once dated a guy who i did obviously end up dating for a year who had a sleeping bag on his bed and i went no so is that a sleeping bag and he said yep and i went all right just on the bed on the bed wow no fitted sheet and this was like a fashionable man hmm

What does that mean? I've acted and I'll act again if anyone's watching, but I act sometimes every now and then. But it's so, I like cringe saying I'm an actress. Yeah.

What does that mean? I've acted and I'll act again if anyone's watching, but I act sometimes every now and then. But it's so, I like cringe saying I'm an actress. Yeah.

Yeah, and I would say a model first and foremost. No, there's something, what happens when you become a comedian is you can't take anything serious ever again. Like, I could never be on, like, a jury, you know? Really? Because I'd be doing bits. Yeah. And I'd be like, murder, murder this pussy. I can't see live music anymore.

Yeah, and I would say a model first and foremost. No, there's something, what happens when you become a comedian is you can't take anything serious ever again. Like, I could never be on, like, a jury, you know? Really? Because I'd be doing bits. Yeah. And I'd be like, murder, murder this pussy. I can't see live music anymore.

Why not? It's because when someone's singing and they close their eyes, it makes me sick. Oh my God. I can't do anything serious anymore. So the idea of calling myself an actress, I have to be like,

Why not? It's because when someone's singing and they close their eyes, it makes me sick. Oh my God. I can't do anything serious anymore. So the idea of calling myself an actress, I have to be like,

I'm such a comedian first and everything else second that it's just really taken, you know, it's taken the chutzpah out of everything. Yeah.

I'm such a comedian first and everything else second that it's just really taken, you know, it's taken the chutzpah out of everything. Yeah.

No, I, I'm going to say something and you're not going to like it. I'm going to love it. If I sat on the side of a stool, I'll come. Oh my God.

No, I, I'm going to say something and you're not going to like it. I'm going to love it. If I sat on the side of a stool, I'll come. Oh my God.

Like, sometimes I'm on the subway, and I'm, like, close. Shut up! Yes. I don't know what it is about my, like, my pussy cartography, but, like, cartography is the art of making a map, by the way.

Like, sometimes I'm on the subway, and I'm, like, close. Shut up! Yes. I don't know what it is about my, like, my pussy cartography, but, like, cartography is the art of making a map, by the way.

Okay. I never said that before, but, wow.

Okay. I never said that before, but, wow.

That's the name of your first book. My pussy cartography. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, yeah, there's something the way things are aligned that it's just easy for me. That being said, I started using a vibrator really late in the game and it has taken, now I understand what women are talking about where like you are like, you know. It takes over your life. Like sanding down your clit. Oh, really?

That's the name of your first book. My pussy cartography. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, yeah, there's something the way things are aligned that it's just easy for me. That being said, I started using a vibrator really late in the game and it has taken, now I understand what women are talking about where like you are like, you know. It takes over your life. Like sanding down your clit. Oh, really?

Yeah. I used to be able to come on the subway, and the more I use my vibrator, the less I can. Really?

Yeah. I used to be able to come on the subway, and the more I use my vibrator, the less I can. Really?

So just something to be aware of.

So just something to be aware of.

No, no.

No, no.

I mean, I would if I had to. Yeah. To be clear.

I mean, I would if I had to. Yeah. To be clear.

I think I don't sleep over in the first place. Smart. So what do you think? I'm going to sleep at your fucking apartment when my la mer is in Brooklyn.

I think I don't sleep over in the first place. Smart. So what do you think? I'm going to sleep at your fucking apartment when my la mer is in Brooklyn.

Yeah, I do not sleep over. That's smart. No, no, ma'am.

Yeah, I do not sleep over. That's smart. No, no, ma'am.

You know when you first get them and they're just, like, up to your chin and you look like a sex dog? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they drop, and now they look, like, beautiful and natural. They look so beautiful and natural.

You know when you first get them and they're just, like, up to your chin and you look like a sex dog? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they drop, and now they look, like, beautiful and natural. They look so beautiful and natural.

I don't like people in my space. Oh, I'd rather them come to mine because then all my stuff is there.

I don't like people in my space. Oh, I'd rather them come to mine because then all my stuff is there.

Yeah, I hate when a man sleeps over because it's like I thought your whole thing is that you don't want to do that.

Yeah, I hate when a man sleeps over because it's like I thought your whole thing is that you don't want to do that.

Now I'm like, no, I need a Rolex.

Now I'm like, no, I need a Rolex.

You have a girlfriend.

You have a girlfriend.

He literally gave you like hospital shoes.

He literally gave you like hospital shoes.

Right now or of all time? Of all time. And right now. I have three of all times. And I have one king, and then I have three. Okay, so there's a whole thing. You know there's knights, princes, and kings. That's a whole other thing. Obviously, we're talking about a kingdom. Yeah. So, like, my childhood one that I would kill for, like, sweat, blood, tears, Joe Jonas. Okay. Yes.

Right now or of all time? Of all time. And right now. I have three of all times. And I have one king, and then I have three. Okay, so there's a whole thing. You know there's knights, princes, and kings. That's a whole other thing. Obviously, we're talking about a kingdom. Yeah. So, like, my childhood one that I would kill for, like, sweat, blood, tears, Joe Jonas. Okay. Yes.

But that's because I was a huge Jonas Brothers fan. Like I've been at parties with him and I can't speak to him. You know, like it's to the point it's like childhood fandom. Like I'm sweating. Like we were at a table once and I was like, I just have to go. Like I could never realistically date him because I like freak out. Yeah.

But that's because I was a huge Jonas Brothers fan. Like I've been at parties with him and I can't speak to him. You know, like it's to the point it's like childhood fandom. Like I'm sweating. Like we were at a table once and I was like, I just have to go. Like I could never realistically date him because I like freak out. Yeah.

Still me and my best friend, Steph Dagg, hilarious comedian, went to a Jonas Brothers concert recently crying.

Still me and my best friend, Steph Dagg, hilarious comedian, went to a Jonas Brothers concert recently crying.

So he's my all time.

So he's my all time.

Yeah, he's literally Christopher Columbus. He's Magellan. He's Trevor. Yeah, yeah, okay. Oh my God, I love Magellan. I love that you just brought up Magellan.

Yeah, he's literally Christopher Columbus. He's Magellan. He's Trevor. Yeah, yeah, okay. Oh my God, I love Magellan. I love that you just brought up Magellan.

I always say dinner party, famous dinner party, one of the people would be Magellan.

I always say dinner party, famous dinner party, one of the people would be Magellan.

He was the original. Yes, he did. He tried to get to India and he accidentally discovered Africa.

He was the original. Yes, he did. He tried to get to India and he accidentally discovered Africa.

That's what he did. Magellan is so hot. Magellan's a hottie. Okay, love that you just said that. Let's add him to the celebrity crushes.

That's what he did. Magellan is so hot. Magellan's a hottie. Okay, love that you just said that. Let's add him to the celebrity crushes.

Adrienne Brody. Ooh.

Adrienne Brody. Ooh.

And then funny sidebar, Eric Andre. Okay. Who I brought up. Yeah. And I really like Barry Keoghan too. Oh. He's cute.

And then funny sidebar, Eric Andre. Okay. Who I brought up. Yeah. And I really like Barry Keoghan too. Oh. He's cute.

Is Joe Jonas not enough?

Is Joe Jonas not enough?

My most embarrassing celebrity crush. Who's like an uggo that I love? Oh, Jonah Hill. Yeah, I have a Jonah Hill kink. Wow.

My most embarrassing celebrity crush. Who's like an uggo that I love? Oh, Jonah Hill. Yeah, I have a Jonah Hill kink. Wow.

There's just something about like a chubby Jew that I love. Yeah, chubby Jews are hot.

There's just something about like a chubby Jew that I love. Yeah, chubby Jews are hot.

Right? Totally.

Right? Totally.

Zeus and Hercules. Oh, you got a little mythology. All right.

Zeus and Hercules. Oh, you got a little mythology. All right.

It's the best Disney series. I don't know. Animated. What's yours? And then maybe you'll inspire me.

It's the best Disney series. I don't know. Animated. What's yours? And then maybe you'll inspire me.

I just wish like I looked insane. My doctor was the same way where I was like, you know, he's an artist and he wanted them to fit my body. That's bullshit. But could you imagine if I just came in here and you were like.

I just wish like I looked insane. My doctor was the same way where I was like, you know, he's an artist and he wanted them to fit my body. That's bullshit. But could you imagine if I just came in here and you were like.

And height. He's obviously super tall. I think, what's the Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob? Oh my God. God. He's rich. He's so rich. You love that? I love that. You love that? And Larry the Lobster, if we're in the tone of Spongebob. Yeah, yeah. Parental crustaceans. Ed, Ed, and Eddie. I don't know who that is. Just three dumb guys on Cartoon Network. Okay. Really dumb. Yeah.

And height. He's obviously super tall. I think, what's the Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob? Oh my God. God. He's rich. He's so rich. You love that? I love that. You love that? And Larry the Lobster, if we're in the tone of Spongebob. Yeah, yeah. Parental crustaceans. Ed, Ed, and Eddie. I don't know who that is. Just three dumb guys on Cartoon Network. Okay. Really dumb. Yeah.

Like, almost medically dumb. Yeah. I'd give SpongeBob a handjob for sure.

Like, almost medically dumb. Yeah. I'd give SpongeBob a handjob for sure.

Patrick is kind of a slay, too. Oh, Patrick is cute.

Patrick is kind of a slay, too. Oh, Patrick is cute.

And his house, when you finally go under the rock, it's big.

And his house, when you finally go under the rock, it's big.

Oh, my God. My ex-boyfriend used to beg me to peg him. Are you serious? Yes. And I never did. And I actually really regret it.

Oh, my God. My ex-boyfriend used to beg me to peg him. Are you serious? Yes. And I never did. And I actually really regret it.

It was towards the end. He was trying to, you know.

It was towards the end. He was trying to, you know.

Okay, single woman wants to peg. Here's the thing. You can't just, like, date one, peg a guy.

Okay, single woman wants to peg. Here's the thing. You can't just, like, date one, peg a guy.

Unless you go find him at the basement in Brooklyn and that's a gay man, you know? So I think you have to, first of all, make sure you have all the materials, you know? He's not going to come in prepared. No. You need the whole strap-on. If you're dating straight guys, it probably has to be small, you know, because they're not. They're supposedly not used to it. Yeah.

Unless you go find him at the basement in Brooklyn and that's a gay man, you know? So I think you have to, first of all, make sure you have all the materials, you know? He's not going to come in prepared. No. You need the whole strap-on. If you're dating straight guys, it probably has to be small, you know, because they're not. They're supposedly not used to it. Yeah.

But I do think you have to sort of like find a really sub guy and you have to prepare him for something like that because you can't just like peg a straight guy.

But I do think you have to sort of like find a really sub guy and you have to prepare him for something like that because you can't just like peg a straight guy.

There's a bridge. It's about like gumption.

There's a bridge. It's about like gumption.

Yeah. Yeah. Listen, abundance mindset. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Listen, abundance mindset. Okay.

That's not your soulmate. Yeah, do you, like, want to date a man that's interested in pegging? Yeah. Like, let's talk about the big picture. Yeah, what's the big, let's macro. I think join one of these kink applications. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that one called? There's a field. Field. Field is great. And say pegging. Yeah.

That's not your soulmate. Yeah, do you, like, want to date a man that's interested in pegging? Yeah. Like, let's talk about the big picture. Yeah, what's the big, let's macro. I think join one of these kink applications. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that one called? There's a field. Field. Field is great. And say pegging. Yeah.

Because also, you don't want to, like, invest in a man, get five dates deep, and then say, I want to peg you, and then he's running for the hills. That's such an utter waste of time. Right, right, right.

Because also, you don't want to, like, invest in a man, get five dates deep, and then say, I want to peg you, and then he's running for the hills. That's such an utter waste of time. Right, right, right.

Let me know if you want to bring yours or I'll bring mine.

Let me know if you want to bring yours or I'll bring mine.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I would say something so different a year ago, but now I'm really into like toxic masculinity as I talked about. And like I want a guy to be like, it's crazy you're not sucking my dick right now.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I would say something so different a year ago, but now I'm really into like toxic masculinity as I talked about. And like I want a guy to be like, it's crazy you're not sucking my dick right now.

I know a way to shut you the fuck up.

I know a way to shut you the fuck up.

Like that. Something like that. Yeah, it depends on the girl. So either you go ends of the spectrum. You just... You do one of these, you know, slam her to the ground. Or you cook her a beautiful candle at dinner. Candles. Candles. Burning. Yeah. Romance.

Like that. Something like that. Yeah, it depends on the girl. So either you go ends of the spectrum. You just... You do one of these, you know, slam her to the ground. Or you cook her a beautiful candle at dinner. Candles. Candles. Burning. Yeah. Romance.

I want it to look like insane. I want people to gasp. So I've decided every few years I'm just going to go up a size until I like die.

I want it to look like insane. I want people to gasp. So I've decided every few years I'm just going to go up a size until I like die.

Okay? Beautiful dish. And you say... I'm having dessert, but you're not. And then make her blow you.

Okay? Beautiful dish. And you say... I'm having dessert, but you're not. And then make her blow you.

Oh, my God. This is actually one of my true passions, is uncircumcised penis. Really? Yeah, because they're so shy. Aw. They're like hiding.

Oh, my God. This is actually one of my true passions, is uncircumcised penis. Really? Yeah, because they're so shy. Aw. They're like hiding.

You're good. You get a little feather on a string. You're like... They're amazing. It's exotic.

You're good. You get a little feather on a string. You're like... They're amazing. It's exotic.

you know it's fun it's like they dressed up for the occasion you know it's like formal wear yeah she must be going to europe because it's very european on circumstances they love scarves yeah they like to keep it warm yeah yeah yeah just think of it like a new um delicacy yeah okay yeah and there's nothing really new to be done like you think you'll have to be like

you know it's fun it's like they dressed up for the occasion you know it's like formal wear yeah she must be going to europe because it's very european on circumstances they love scarves yeah they like to keep it warm yeah yeah yeah just think of it like a new um delicacy yeah okay yeah and there's nothing really new to be done like you think you'll have to be like

Yeah, once it, you know.

Yeah, once it, you know.

Yeah. It's ready. Yeah, it's ready to go. Yeah, you don't have to do anything.

Yeah. It's ready. Yeah, it's ready to go. Yeah, you don't have to do anything.

Oh, there's no time for manners.

Oh, there's no time for manners.

Shave your balls.

Shave your balls.

Shave your balls.

Shave your balls.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I also think like, why do you want a man to shave his balls? I think there's nothing worse than a hairless man.

I also think like, why do you want a man to shave his balls? I think there's nothing worse than a hairless man.

It should be trimmed, obviously. Trimmed. Well, it's groomed. But, like, what do you want? A better view of his balls? Of his balls or his butt? Cover those up. Put a wig on those. I don't want to see that.

It should be trimmed, obviously. Trimmed. Well, it's groomed. But, like, what do you want? A better view of his balls? Of his balls or his butt? Cover those up. Put a wig on those. I don't want to see that.

So they're so fresh. Like can't stress this enough. Two months old. Three months old. You know, first trimester with my new boobs.

So they're so fresh. Like can't stress this enough. Two months old. Three months old. You know, first trimester with my new boobs.

Why do you want a man with hairless balls? No, no, no. That's more my question back to you. Question for a question.

Why do you want a man with hairless balls? No, no, no. That's more my question back to you. Question for a question.

Your husband, too? Yeah.

Your husband, too? Yeah.

Maybe a post-it note on the, like, bathroom mirror.

Maybe a post-it note on the, like, bathroom mirror.

I'm a real go with the flow type sexster. I want them to take control. Also, I'm writing all day long. I don't have the energy to write another storyline for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give mommy a break.

I'm a real go with the flow type sexster. I want them to take control. Also, I'm writing all day long. I don't have the energy to write another storyline for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give mommy a break.

Yeah. So I just let them take it. And then I'm like, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So I just let them take it. And then I'm like, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow. Or I'll just send back nudes. If I don't want to, like, get involved in, you know, story crafting. Yeah. I'll just, like, keep shooting back nudes.

Oh, wow. Or I'll just send back nudes. If I don't want to, like, get involved in, you know, story crafting. Yeah. I'll just, like, keep shooting back nudes.

Oh. Okay, you take sexting. I'll take nudes.

Oh. Okay, you take sexting. I'll take nudes.

I made out with a guy who was a friend because I really was on a tear like they're too small. So it was like I looked at my friend and I'm like, you have to come make out with me. We were already planning on that. But I need you to medically look at my boobs and tell me if they're too small. I feel like every guy's going to want to be your friend.

I made out with a guy who was a friend because I really was on a tear like they're too small. So it was like I looked at my friend and I'm like, you have to come make out with me. We were already planning on that. But I need you to medically look at my boobs and tell me if they're too small. I feel like every guy's going to want to be your friend.

Yeah. Read some smut, and it gives you a good, like, um... You know, good, like, verbal boundaries of, like, what is hot and what is not. Because sometimes you read something and you're like, Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. And then other times you're like, well, that's a good line.

Yeah. Read some smut, and it gives you a good, like, um... You know, good, like, verbal boundaries of, like, what is hot and what is not. Because sometimes you read something and you're like, Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. And then other times you're like, well, that's a good line.

You have to do it quick.

You have to do it quick.

laughing my ass off i'm so happy i'm i get so happy yeah i think um also you could always google synonyms oh yeah yeah so like if you know if he used pump too many times just google synonym for pump yeah like the internet is um or use ai use ai or also just anything to do with cum

laughing my ass off i'm so happy i'm i get so happy yeah i think um also you could always google synonyms oh yeah yeah so like if you know if he used pump too many times just google synonym for pump yeah like the internet is um or use ai use ai or also just anything to do with cum

Also remember like being a kid and you would play that game. I forget what it was called but it was like a house. A location. A action. You know like a Mad Lib. Oh Mad Lib. Madlib.

Also remember like being a kid and you would play that game. I forget what it was called but it was like a house. A location. A action. You know like a Mad Lib. Oh Mad Lib. Madlib.

Put their day. I want you to come on my chest plate. Yeah, yeah, chest plate. Like in under a tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Put their day. I want you to come on my chest plate. Yeah, yeah, chest plate. Like in under a tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you fucking sick? What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you okay? What man in their right mind says let me be stabbed in the dick? No one wants a chandelier earring in your dick. No woman wants that.

Are you fucking sick? What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you okay? What man in their right mind says let me be stabbed in the dick? No one wants a chandelier earring in your dick. No woman wants that.

Also, no woman is ever, I mean, unless they're like the queen of the macabre. Like, no, I don't want your fucking cubic zirconium dick ring in my vagina.

Also, no woman is ever, I mean, unless they're like the queen of the macabre. Like, no, I don't want your fucking cubic zirconium dick ring in my vagina.

Just be a good friend. I'm actually a really good friend. Just be a good friend. Be a good friend. I need you to juggle my titties tonight. So I literally kept flashing him and being like, okay, this angle, this angle. Too small, too small. Too small, too small. Get it? Gotta go. And he's like, can you do it again? And he's like, I'm loving this.

Just be a good friend. I'm actually a really good friend. Just be a good friend. Be a good friend. I need you to juggle my titties tonight. So I literally kept flashing him and being like, okay, this angle, this angle. Too small, too small. Too small, too small. Get it? Gotta go. And he's like, can you do it again? And he's like, I'm loving this.

My pH is already off.

My pH is already off.

I don't need your mystery metal in my junk. Okay? That's going to be a week of fucking boric acid to fix that.

I don't need your mystery metal in my junk. Okay? That's going to be a week of fucking boric acid to fix that.

Absolutely not. Also, quickly going back to nudes. Yeah. It's all about lighting.

Absolutely not. Also, quickly going back to nudes. Yeah. It's all about lighting.

Also keep all of them. Put them in the hidden folder because you never know when you'll need one.

Also keep all of them. Put them in the hidden folder because you never know when you'll need one.

I can't wait to get to a point where my iCloud is hacked and my nudes are on the internet. I'm waiting. Yeah. Just leak the nudes. Have you taken a lot of new nudes with the fresh ones? I'm machine gunning nudes. Wow. It's so exciting. And I thought my nudes were good before and that with boobs, I'm like, oh my God, I should be president.

I can't wait to get to a point where my iCloud is hacked and my nudes are on the internet. I'm waiting. Yeah. Just leak the nudes. Have you taken a lot of new nudes with the fresh ones? I'm machine gunning nudes. Wow. It's so exciting. And I thought my nudes were good before and that with boobs, I'm like, oh my God, I should be president.

Did you have to expand your iPhone storage because of the amount of nudes that you're taking?

Did you have to expand your iPhone storage because of the amount of nudes that you're taking?

And then I recently had sex for the first time since having it, but I think I'm so... scared that they're going to pop still, that I was like... You got silicone, right? Yeah. Oh, thank God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I recently had sex for the first time since having it, but I think I'm so... scared that they're going to pop still, that I was like... You got silicone, right? Yeah. Oh, thank God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

horrible because you can go on like a roller coaster you just go like this or you say the pledge of allegiance and they pop could you imagine you're just trying to be a patriot i'm just i'm just trying to like give one to my country and then my which is the most unpatriotic thing for a titty to pop that's true i do have jokes about this but i scheduled my boob job um like without thinking and it was on january 20th which was inauguration day oh my gosh augmentation day for me yeah but i like

horrible because you can go on like a roller coaster you just go like this or you say the pledge of allegiance and they pop could you imagine you're just trying to be a patriot i'm just i'm just trying to like give one to my country and then my which is the most unpatriotic thing for a titty to pop that's true i do have jokes about this but i scheduled my boob job um like without thinking and it was on january 20th which was inauguration day oh my gosh augmentation day for me yeah but i like

I think it's just so funny that as a Republican is taking office like I'm getting jugs like it was the most Republican thing.

I think it's just so funny that as a Republican is taking office like I'm getting jugs like it was the most Republican thing.

I deserve it.

I deserve it.

Yeah, and they can.

Yeah, and they can.

Which never happens.

Which never happens.

Yeah, because I'm like, if you—this was thousands of dollars. Yeah. How much was yours? If you ruin my investment, $9,000. It wasn't that bad.

Yeah, because I'm like, if you—this was thousands of dollars. Yeah. How much was yours? If you ruin my investment, $9,000. It wasn't that bad.

Yeah. That's cheap. How much was hers? Oh, my God, $32,000.

Yeah. That's cheap. How much was hers? Oh, my God, $32,000.

32?

32?

we're willing to stay awake if you want I want to see what's going on you pay extra no but they were really really lovely but he Beverly Hills is expensive I think you're paying partly for like the address well of course first of all of course and there's a reason I went to New Jersey because I didn't want to pay Manhattan prices yeah yeah and I also didn't need like a lift in a you know some people get fat sucked out of their ass and they put it in there which I kind of

we're willing to stay awake if you want I want to see what's going on you pay extra no but they were really really lovely but he Beverly Hills is expensive I think you're paying partly for like the address well of course first of all of course and there's a reason I went to New Jersey because I didn't want to pay Manhattan prices yeah yeah and I also didn't need like a lift in a you know some people get fat sucked out of their ass and they put it in there which I kind of

But, yeah, mine was easy. They just went.

But, yeah, mine was easy. They just went.

Also, I kind of like the scar. Yeah. I like the scar too. Battle wounds.

Also, I kind of like the scar. Yeah. I like the scar too. Battle wounds.

Yeah, there's something like sexy, like fourth wing about the scars where I'm like, yeah, I've been through something.

Yeah, there's something like sexy, like fourth wing about the scars where I'm like, yeah, I've been through something.

Yeah, what is fourth wing?

Yeah, what is fourth wing?

Smut. I'm into fantasy smut books. Fantasy smut. But actually I've sort of dropped the fantasy now. I'm into all smut books. So what are smut books? Is that like Fifty Shades of Grey? Yes, which I've never actually read. I sort of like, one day my friend handed me this book and said, you're going to love this. And it was like a Yellowstone style smut series.

Smut. I'm into fantasy smut books. Fantasy smut. But actually I've sort of dropped the fantasy now. I'm into all smut books. So what are smut books? Is that like Fifty Shades of Grey? Yes, which I've never actually read. I sort of like, one day my friend handed me this book and said, you're going to love this. And it was like a Yellowstone style smut series.

Like cowboy bull rider smut. Okay. And then I sort of took that on as my whole personality.

Like cowboy bull rider smut. Okay. And then I sort of took that on as my whole personality.

Like I'm doing like a southern thing right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like going to PBR rodeo. Oh my God. And just like trying to find myself like just a deeply violent cowboy. Okay, Bella. Yeah. That's what I'm looking for right now. And I had never read really a smut book before. And then I realized, oh, we're missing out.

Like I'm doing like a southern thing right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like going to PBR rodeo. Oh my God. And just like trying to find myself like just a deeply violent cowboy. Okay, Bella. Yeah. That's what I'm looking for right now. And I had never read really a smut book before. And then I realized, oh, we're missing out.

I mean, there's like full sex scenes where you're blushing, reading alone blushing.

I mean, there's like full sex scenes where you're blushing, reading alone blushing.

Graphic novel feels boy, smut feels girl. Really? But they might be the same thing.

Graphic novel feels boy, smut feels girl. Really? But they might be the same thing.

It's graphic.

It's graphic.

It's, like, he put his cock in my fucking eye.

It's, like, he put his cock in my fucking eye.

So there's that. So I started off with that like cowboy series, which is apt. It's called Chestnut Springs. It's absolutely like vile. OK, nice. And it's awesome.

So there's that. So I started off with that like cowboy series, which is apt. It's called Chestnut Springs. It's absolutely like vile. OK, nice. And it's awesome.

And then I got into these like fantasy smut books that all the girlies love called Fourth Wing. And then there's another one called A Court of Thorns and Roses. And this is like I've heard of that one.

And then I got into these like fantasy smut books that all the girlies love called Fourth Wing. And then there's another one called A Court of Thorns and Roses. And this is like I've heard of that one.

That's very it's it's sloppy.

That's very it's it's sloppy.

It's Game of Thrones, but they're giving blowjobs in war tents.

It's Game of Thrones, but they're giving blowjobs in war tents.

Can you believe I wore a blazer to cover them up? I can't believe you're covering them up. Sometimes I'm so not used to having boobs or I'm walking around and I feel like a sloppy whore. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can you believe I wore a blazer to cover them up? I can't believe you're covering them up. Sometimes I'm so not used to having boobs or I'm walking around and I feel like a sloppy whore. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, this girl, this fucking girl is like in battle all day and they're losing the battle. She's, you know, she's fighting, sword, weapon, weapon. And then she gives a blowjob at night. I couldn't imagine. I need 10 hours of that.

I mean, this girl, this fucking girl is like in battle all day and they're losing the battle. She's, you know, she's fighting, sword, weapon, weapon. And then she gives a blowjob at night. I couldn't imagine. I need 10 hours of that.

sleep yeah that's a lot of work wait is it like a future fake war is it like World War two so it's like completely fantasy we're in a different it's like yeah it's Game of Thrones it's okay nice it's Lord of the Rings but I'm like a real I'm a nerd like I loved Twilight and vampire books and all of that so this I know I'm really cute um and this is just like feeding into that yeah like Twilight girl all grown up yeah where you're like yeah I'll let up six foot four fairy with bat wings fuck

sleep yeah that's a lot of work wait is it like a future fake war is it like World War two so it's like completely fantasy we're in a different it's like yeah it's Game of Thrones it's okay nice it's Lord of the Rings but I'm like a real I'm a nerd like I loved Twilight and vampire books and all of that so this I know I'm really cute um and this is just like feeding into that yeah like Twilight girl all grown up yeah where you're like yeah I'll let up six foot four fairy with bat wings fuck

me. You can't get pregnant. You can't get pregnant reading. And Lord knows I've tried. And also, I'm so sick of the men in New York City where I'm like, give me an Illyrian warrior because I'm done. I just dated a Wall Street trader and I'm going to be more fucking bored.

me. You can't get pregnant. You can't get pregnant reading. And Lord knows I've tried. And also, I'm so sick of the men in New York City where I'm like, give me an Illyrian warrior because I'm done. I just dated a Wall Street trader and I'm going to be more fucking bored.

It's getting scary. But also I feel like I'm ruining it now by reading Smut because now my standards are so high where I'm like, you have to be like the king of like a fairy country.

It's getting scary. But also I feel like I'm ruining it now by reading Smut because now my standards are so high where I'm like, you have to be like the king of like a fairy country.

You have to be like a skilled warrior to even like ask me out on a date. And now I meet like a little twink in Union Square and he's like, do you want to go get a cocktail? I'm like, no. Why don't you punch me in the face, grab me by the back of the neck, my neck, and chain me up in your basement and then I'll go out with you. Like, where's the violence?

You have to be like a skilled warrior to even like ask me out on a date. And now I meet like a little twink in Union Square and he's like, do you want to go get a cocktail? I'm like, no. Why don't you punch me in the face, grab me by the back of the neck, my neck, and chain me up in your basement and then I'll go out with you. Like, where's the violence?

I am single, but I'm a comedian, as you know. And I'm also on tour like crazy. So I'm not really here that much. And then when I'm back, I sort of forget that I'm a human girl. And then I go back into shows. So I actually have completely forgotten to date in a while. And now I'm coming back on the scene like, girl, we have fresh boobs. New titties.

I am single, but I'm a comedian, as you know. And I'm also on tour like crazy. So I'm not really here that much. And then when I'm back, I sort of forget that I'm a human girl. And then I go back into shows. So I actually have completely forgotten to date in a while. And now I'm coming back on the scene like, girl, we have fresh boobs. New titties.