Gabby Windey

They hope to become influencers and fabletics of fabletics and move to L.A.

to work in production.

In which they put on their raya.

When in all actuality, they don't have a job.

They don't have a car.

Oh, but they have car insurance.

What?

And they sit on the couch playing Minecraft with 12 year olds all day in the daylight, a.m.

to p.m.

stealing their 75 year old neighbor's bike.

What kind of a man are you?

These are the 30 men we grieve for because they didn't get airtime.

And then they'll post selfies of themselves like they're going to get a brand deal of Brian Johnson's protein powder for $500 before tax.

Enjoy your $250.

And he has to keep those $250, maybe $200 after he spends $50.

I don't know.

On some kind of a bill he hasn't paid, but he has to save those $200 for an IPA addiction.

He has to save those $200 for an IPA addiction that makes him burp out sulfur that should only be used as a defense from a skunk's ass when there's a predator circulating.

So he makes you buy his large caramel latte at breakfast.

Okay, big man, you want my money and diabetes?