Gabriel Iglesias

Mexican side of the band, salud. Salud, caballeros.

Hey, I'm not Muslim. Hell yeah.

Oh, damn. Jesus Christ. But I am Mexican.

A huevo.

All right. No? You look all right, bro. I'd say more, but I'm wearing shorts.

It is incredible.

But he has a keyboard to cover up his bad choice. Yeah. Yeah.

Tim, what made you want to go in that direction out the gate? That's a tough area to go into.

Did I make that? It's a tough topic to go into.

I'm not scared of jokes, but I'm scared of Muslims.

The views of Tim are not those of Gabriel Iglesias. I got you covered. Or Tony. I'll protect everybody. Yeah, dude. Yeah.

Yeah.

You probably went after the heart. I mean, what? Think of another topic that would have been harder for him to go into.

Abortion. Abortion.

I love that he respects guns more than Muslims. Like, dude, man. Tim. Tim, we got to talk after, bro. I'm not much of a... You might need full camo after this show.

Stay away from Muslim topics.

Dude, the visual I got from the power glove in the back of an Escort, I'm like, oh my God. You felt that shit, didn't you? I felt that, dude. The Escort, the one that had the power seatbelts, the automatic ones.

Power glove. He got him in there.

I've actually seen his content online. Really? Yeah, Jason, you're very funny. Thank you so much. Thank you. He does these insane reviews of massage parlors. Is that true? It's part of the culture, brother. Hey, man.

Hey, I'm the one that mentioned it. Why don't you give me fist bump, man? Oh, shit. Give me the Power Glove hand. Give me the Power Glove hand.

No, he actually puts out some really funny content that I've seen online every now and then. That's why as soon as you walk in, I'm like, I recognize you from somewhere. And then I heard your voice. I'm like, that's right. That's right. You can't call your... It's hysterical, man. I enjoy it. I've showed your videos to many people.

Let me tell you something. You're talking right now, but I promise you my feet are softer than most people's touch. Goddamn! That's what the fuck I'm talking about.

Look at that. Now I need help putting on this sock. Ha! Yeah, you know, what's up, dude?

I said they're soft.

Can I ask for the honest review, though? I know the guy passed out, but that's besides the points. 7.5. Thank you.

I get a lot of petties.

I'm diabetic. I got to take care of my feet.

I think the sock in the mouth is like somewhere like 93.

This is too... How did you know the age? Like, were you guys buying the same medication or something at CVS? How did you know the age? What? You said 47.

Thank you.

I'm not going to lie. I thought that was the beginning of my story. And I'm like, no, that's another Mexican. He got... Wow. How? So your review of my feet was real. That's all I want to know. That's all I care about. It's like... 7.5. Thank you, bro. Thank you. Let's just... You got to take your wins when you can get them, people.

Thank you.

What would be a crackhead heaven? Crack it on. Like an unlocked liquor store at night?

That's in the description, by the way.

That's exactly what it says on the guide. Even I knew that.

A coincidence, yeah, right? When you're doing a full... Now, what's the longest amount of time you spent on stage drinking?

15-minute set is the longest set? Okay. When you're doing a full 15-minute set, what is your opening usually like? Like when you're coming out, you know you're going to do a full set. You know, because usually like right now, I feel like you came out and you're only given a minute. So you jump right into it versus giving the people a split second to try to understand where you're coming from.

Jason didn't have to explain himself when he came out.

You knew some shit was going to go down when he came out because everything about him told you that. Yeah. You, on the other hand, look very, very normal. Like you said, you're a bartender. Like, I totally believe it. I see it. But. You only had a minute to perform, so what is your normal opening?

You look like you could get away with something already, so why would you not go with the flow? Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

Was it at a Waffle House? Yeah.

You need to talk more about stuff like this, dude. That's way funnier than whatever you did earlier. That whole, because I look like this, and you should follow it up with, and I didn't vote for Kamala either, because I look like this, because at first glance, bro, I wasn't sure. It's Austin. You could have gone either way without. You're really funny.

You just needed an opportunity to get comfortable in front of the audience. That's what I noticed. Like, okay, something tells me there's more than just that minute. So I'm glad we gave you that chance to do that.

Okay. Where in Fresno did you get to perform? You said you started in Fresno, right?

Okay. 661, whereabouts in Bakersfield?

So grew up in Fresno. First time performing was in Bakersfield. And then you went to Los Angeles.

That's what triggered this whole thing. Yeah.

Oh, God, are we gonna start doing comic puns? She segued her vagina onto his microphone.

She opened... How recent was this? Sorry if we're shitting on you right now. How recently was this?

Were your medical bills ever more than what you got paid?

Anytime you're starting off, you're always like, yeah. Like when he had to get on that box.

I feel bad for some of the jokes. They're going to catch me in the back.

Oh, yeah, baby. That is an amazing intro. I'm so glad you have actual Mexicans playing that.

Did you do the funny bone up there?

It's the thumb joke. I know the owner. He don't like jokes like that. Anyway.

I thought that was funny, man.

Yeah.

You clearly have some stuff you need to get off your chest, brother.

You got to keep them separated.

Why did you look at me when you said that? Motherfucker. Hey, can I order a drink since we're talking about freaking eating pussy here? Another tequila for my dear friend. Yeah, please. Thank you. I feel you've run all these questions. Hey, you asked me to be on the show. Can I get some of that medication, too?

Hell yeah. Can you please tell everybody what you're drinking again? It's a Gay Vegas. It's a sugar-free Red Bull and vodka. I go, hey, what is that? He goes, it's a gay Vegas. I go, what? I like how you described it, though. I might order one. Who knows?

Thank you.

Most of your crazy calls happen after hours because usually that's when plumbers make the most money is because anytime I've had issues, it's always calling after hours. and usually it's for something where you have no control over it, so.

What kind of things have you been called into?

As far as, like, what's... Not the worst situation as far as, like, somebody being an asshole to you, but more so, like, the situation, like, was a shower backed up, toilet backed up, the sinks, the plumbing.

You said 10 years of doing that, right?

Can you still get grossed out?

Because I've talked to some plumbers that are like, I could eat lunch while fixing the freaking pipes.

But now you're doing stand-up, man, which I think is awesome. You have great timing. You came out very confident.

What's the longest you've been on stage?

Oh, actually, he's been the first comic that's had a set longer than 15.

So from California, you just came out here just for Kill Tony?

We already know how you feel about Puerto Ricans.

So mentally this is only like, okay, no crazy girls, but he didn't say no to like, you know, like dwarfs or anything else.

He was trying to offer you work, but, you know, hey.

Yeah, thank you.

It's not racist because we already did this to a white person.

So much for my show at the kids' school. I'm gonna get a call soon.

As long as they don't acknowledge it, I think they can pull off anything.

So then you can always make the case where, well, you know, he's a little.

Yeah.

Maybe to, like, Dallas.

Did you start off doing stand-up in Estonia? Yeah, you went there.

You were there at my show in Estonia? Yeah. Awesome.

You understand I'm going to play this video in someone's review at the end of the year, right? There's somebody going to get called into an office and I'm going to be like, just for hit play. Like, really motherfucker? Estonia?

We'll make you become a comic. Hey, hug me, bro.

Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Dude, I'm not. I bought that, dude. I take Prozac, too, man. But, yeah.

Yeah, you're trying to figure out how they lined him up, huh? Yeah.

I didn't make it happen.

Yeah. Ask him more questions. He was doing, you were doing good, bro.

Yeah. Would we recognize him if we saw him on anything? No.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah.