Ep 276: Fluffy w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand

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We Might Be Drunk 1h 22m 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 6 months ago
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What pet chaos does Fluffy share with the hosts?

Gabriel Iglesias 0:06
How cute. Yeah.
Unknown 0:08
Holy shit.
Gabriel Iglesias 0:09
This is Roka. This right here is Roka. If you're going to just start petting her from the back.
Sam Morril 0:14
I know about the back. You have consent.
Gabriel Iglesias 0:17
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Get up, Lexi.
Sam Morril 0:19
Sniff, sniff. She's scared. Why a chihuahua?
Gabriel Iglesias 0:23
I've always had a chihuahua. So when I was 12 years old, my first dog ever was a chihuahua. And then I got a couple after that. And I've just always, since I was 12 years old, I've always had a chihuahua.
Sam Morril 0:34
And you both love Taco Bell.
Gabriel Iglesias 0:37
Nice.
Sam Morril 0:38
Yeah, that's funny if you're over 40, right? Yeah.

Why does Fluffy prefer chihuahuas as pets?

Sam Morril 0:42
Yo, Kiro. I'm over 40. There you go.
Unknown 0:46
But yeah, she's just like... That's great. That would be great if you actually ate her right now. Nice. Here you go. Just the most violent opening to the episode.
Gabriel Iglesias 0:58
Thank you.
Unknown 0:58
That is a cute dog.
Gabriel Iglesias 1:00
Oh, you think she bites? You ought to see what the white girl does. Oh, shit. That's my girlfriend. I've never been able to publicly put that out there. Any relationship I've never been in, I've never... been public i've never put posted photos of why i was kept it really private because i figured i have to put it out there then they're gonna people can start reaching out i get i told her get ready because uh you know i put it out there so wow this is your first public first public hey first public well white women love the public they go hey you gotta post about me hey you gotta put me out when it's our anniversary and you go you're gonna ruin my feed bitch well the worst one is when
Unknown 1:37
The worst one is when you're in the toxic relationship and they're still mad you're not posting. And you're like, we're going to break up any day. I'm still going to post. And you still post. And then you're fucking, you're miserable. You know who you are. You know those groups, those friends who are like, the bad marriage. They're like, my fucking, my honey bear. And you're like, you cheated on her.
Sam Morril 1:54
The more you post, the worse the relationship is, I've noticed. You know, the guy's like, I love her so much. And a week later, they're done. You know what? Yeah.
Gabriel Iglesias 2:01
Overcompensation. I got some friends that are doing that right now.
Sam Morril 2:04
Yeah?
Gabriel Iglesias 2:05
Oh, I got her roses. Oh, this and that. Oh, mi amor, my love. And I'm just like, oh, God, this is so just gross.
Unknown 2:11
Are you crazy with gifts?
Gabriel Iglesias 2:13
No. I think that's a good sign. That is. I think too many gifts is scary. Yeah. I feel like you're trying to overcompensate for something.
Sam Morril 2:22
Yes, exactly.
Gabriel Iglesias 2:22
My time is the biggest gift.
Sam Morril 2:24
Hear, hear. My time is the biggest gift.
Gabriel Iglesias 2:26
Your presence is the present.

What insights does Fluffy provide about public relationships?

Gabriel Iglesias 2:27
Because I could be doing some other things, but if I'm there, I care.
Sam Morril 2:30
There you go. Make it rhyme. If it rhymes, it's good, right? I don't buy my wife's shit. We're a hit.
Unknown 2:36
There you go. I got an interesting stat here based on people professing their love. Best actress winners... are 63% more likely to have their marriage end within four years. Really? Oh, man. Because you're moving on up. Sacrifice. Drop that dead weight. Well, maybe also you're probably just working a lot, too.
Sam Morril 2:58
Oh, that's true.
Unknown 2:59
Yeah, things are different.
Sam Morril 3:00
But I think they're thinking, hey, I'm hot shit now. But you said best actress, not upgrade. Best actress winners. I believe it. Maybe the dude can't handle it. I think they're always trying to upgrade, right? Always trying to upgrade.
Gabriel Iglesias 3:09
Always trying to upgrade.
Sam Morril 3:10
That's why women get hotter, and then they dump their fat piece of shit, and then they go get some hot hunky guy. All right. Yeah, there we go.
Unknown 3:20
Some of those dudes, like, you ever feel a breakup coming on, you're like, I better hit the gym. Oh, no. You know, I get ready. That dog does. Yeah, right. That dog's like, preach. Preach. No, sometimes you feel it coming on, you're like, I got to get ready to be single again.
Sam Morril 3:34
Right. So I did a gig in, you ever done Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle? Classic. In Royal Oak, Michigan?
Gabriel Iglesias 3:42
No.
Sam Morril 3:42
Oh, it's a great club. But I couldn't sell tickets back then, so it was like they'd give away, like a charity would come in and do it. So you'd have like Thursday would be battered women night or whatever. Yeah, oh my God. Hot crowd. Yeah, they were tough. You guys better laugh. Yeah, right? Give me a taste of the back of my hand.

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