Gabriel Mizrahi

After all, if learning to be a great listener helps me get my job done, it should be able to help me at home too, right?

Let me guess.

The problem is that my wife had a troubled past, rife with abuse, trauma, sexual assault, and more.

She shared many stories with me and I was sad to hear them and did my best to help her with her healing process.

But it wasn't good enough.

As I started to gain more self-awareness, I realized that the way she treated me could be condescending, passive-aggressive, and downright toxic.

I started to notice that her stubbornness wasn't just an occasional trait, but a red flag that she is a narcissist.

I learned, slowly, with the help of a therapist, how to identify what she was doing, the trauma and woundedness that it came from, and ways that I could try to increase her self-awareness so that she could see what she was doing and address it.

Alas, it was to no avail.

For the past five years, nothing seems to work.

She still seems to treat me the same way with the same frequency.

The same things still trigger her, such as standing up for myself or disagreeing with her even slightly.

Just differs or asserts himself in a very basic way.

Concerning.

Really tough.

So he goes on, even though I can explain to her that she has an all-or-nothing mindset, is catastrophizing, jumps to conclusions, all cognitive errors for those who don't know, it seems like she never learns or tries to manage her behaviors in the moment.

I can see some progress from when we got married, but she's plateaued for some years now, and there doesn't seem to be any way to move forward.

Interesting.

It's almost understating what she's dealing with.

It sounds like, but exactly.