Gabriel Mizrahi

Episode 648, by the way, if you want to check it out.

Yes, I totally agree.

I also think that the awkwardness is probably a symptom of something else and you can work on that deeper thing too.

So when you're on the phone and your mind goes blank or when you feel you have nothing to say, I do wonder, are you maybe fixating on what you need to say next instead of truly listening?

Because that can make it hard to be very present and to listen to somebody in a way that gives you the best response or...

If listening is really hard for you, or you may be feeling anxious, self-conscious, if that's what's going on, dig into that, see what that anxiety is really about.

If you work on the self-consciousness, your ability to just be with another person without having all your resources consumed by thoughts about yourself, that will automatically increase a lot.

But look, I hear that you've gotten some difficult feedback in this area before this whole boring comment.

And I'm sorry that it wasn't delivered to you in a more sensitive way.

I know that can make it very painful to take in.

It can also make it hard to do something useful with that feedback.

You're like, cool, somebody just called me boring.

What am I supposed to do with that?

That sucks.

I find that the notes that hurt the most, unfortunately, they're often the ones that have a kernel of truth or the ones that just expose a tender spot in us.

It's funny, Jordan, a few weeks ago, one of my close friends made an observation about me that kind of stung.

I felt like it was...

I don't know, it was delivered like a little carelessly.

It wasn't the way that I prefer to get feedback, which is very direct, but also very loving and measured and not too coded or subtle because that confuses me.

And I also felt that this thing that he said wasn't entirely true.