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The Jordan Harbinger Show

1331: Your Boyfriend's Wrath Is Blocking Your Path | Feedback Friday

22 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What coping tools can help when dealing with an angry partner?

0.031 - 23.514 Jordan Harbinger

This episode is brought to you by Lufthansa. Lufthansa Allegris is an innovative, elevated travel experience across all classes, focusing on each person with their own individual and situational needs. Look forward to your own feel-good moment above the clouds. Visit Lufthansa.com and search for Allegris to learn more. Lufthansa Allegris. All it takes is a yes. Welcome to Feedback Friday.

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23.754 - 39.952 Jordan Harbinger

I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with Feedback Friday producer, my bro-mad with a notepad, Gabriel Mizrahi. On the Jordan Harbinger Show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you.

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40.012 - 51.064 Jordan Harbinger

And our mission is to help you become a better informed, more critical thinker. During the week, we have long-form conversations with a variety of amazing folks, gold smugglers, Russian spies, astronauts, rocket scientists. This week,

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51.044 - 66.369 Jordan Harbinger

We had Javier Lleva on why we obey, the psychology behind why people fall for, I don't even know if you can call it pranks, they're so harmful, phone calls and scams. We also did a Skeptical Sunday last Sunday on psychic detectives, which is about as real as you might expect.

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66.67 - 76.967 Jordan Harbinger

On Fridays, though, we share stories, take listener letters, offer advice, play obnoxious soundbites, and climb the favela-caliber mountains of your most trying and intimidating life conundrum.

77.133 - 95.361 Jace Sanderson

Hey guys, it's Producer Jace here. If you want to skip Gabe's thoughts on Brazilian street muggins and the story of the weirdest yoga class of his life, you can take a vinyasa and jump straight to 30 minutes and 30 seconds. Namaste. Speaking of which, Gabe, you're still in Rio?

95.408 - 98.811 Gabriel Mizrahi

Yep, still in Rio. I'm heading to Florianopolis tomorrow, though.

98.971 - 101.533 Jordan Harbinger

I've heard good things. It looks really stunning, actually.

102.334 - 113.864 Gabriel Mizrahi

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. I already found a good yoga teacher through a friend of mine, and I got this Airbnb on a country estate of some kind with a cat who lives there. Things are looking up.

Chapter 2: How can religious counseling impact personal crises?

236.469 - 250.049 Gabriel Mizrahi

Hitting that duolingasana. You learn a lot of good words in yoga. You learn, you know, like stretch, turn, lift your leg, right elbow, left knee, twist, stuff like that. But I'm also learning words that I will never use, like butterfly and pretzel.

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250.249 - 253.834 Jordan Harbinger

I mean, I feel like you might use those words. It's not that weird.

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253.814 - 255.036 Gabriel Mizrahi

I'm not really a pretzel guy.

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255.136 - 261.646 Jordan Harbinger

I guess that's why I said that. Gabe, most people like joy. That's really the big difference here. Oh, yes.

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261.967 - 262.728 Gabriel Mizrahi

I have heard about this.

262.748 - 267.756 Jordan Harbinger

Phrases like warm pretzel, pretty butterfly. They come in handy for some people.

267.776 - 280.755 Gabriel Mizrahi

Yeah. And phrases like, can I get a prison cut for one? Do not. I always forget that. Yeah. It's okay. I suppose you'll learn one day. Oh, dude, the weirdest thing happened at Yoruba the other day. I wanted to tell you about this.

280.796 - 283.64 Jordan Harbinger

You forgot to take a shirtless selfie afterwards and post it?

284.262 - 309.131 Gabriel Mizrahi

Much weirder than that. So we were like 10 minutes into this class. It was a heated class, and we were still warming up. It was very chill. Not a hard class, not a crazy class whatsoever. And all of a sudden, I just hear this pop. Oh, in your leg? No, not me across the room. Oh no. Actually pop is not the right word. It was worse than a pop. It was like a snap, like a loud snap. Oh, that's ouch.

Chapter 3: What are the risks associated with biblical counseling?

403.482 - 403.862 Unknown

That's funny.

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403.883 - 411.109 Jordan Harbinger

I'm sure that was actually the last thing on his mind is he's like, hey, am I going to be able to walk again and do this? And it's super embarrassing too.

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411.089 - 422.552 Gabriel Mizrahi

I know, but really, what do you do? Do you keep working out? Do you walk over and check on the person? Do you give them space? Do you just sit there and hold good thoughts for them? I kind of did all those things.

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422.912 - 426.82 Jordan Harbinger

You know what they need? They need those Japanese guys who bring out the barricades at the Olympics.

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427.036 - 429.262 Gabriel Mizrahi

What is this? I'm not familiar with this.

429.282 - 445.617 Jordan Harbinger

Oh, dude, never seen it. Okay, so in Japan, I want to say it was Japan during the Olympics. You watch like powerlifting or something. An athlete gets injured. They go down and they're like, ah, and everyone's like, oh my God. And then normally in every other country, The coaches run over and there's medical personnel and stuff.

445.637 - 464.077 Jordan Harbinger

And the audience is just kind of like, dang, that guy got injured, right? And then you're watching. In Japan, a whole crew of dudes comes out with basically like a folding barricade, kind of like a folding table situation, but long. And they put it around the injured person and all the staff. So nobody else can really see what's going on.

464.657 - 470.003 Gabriel Mizrahi

Oh, like when they're doing construction on the 405? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Interesting. I've never heard of this.

470.033 - 484.627 Jordan Harbinger

Yeah, it's funny because they do this kind of, it's like an awkward shuffle because they're carrying this thing and they also, they don't like sprint in because other people are walking in that are more important, like medical personnel. They set this thing up and it sounded like a South Park-ish kind of looking thing.

Chapter 4: How can boundaries be established in a challenging relationship?

808.408 - 815.737 Jordan Harbinger

Like, it's just, you just change things. It's 2026. It's not the end anymore. Yeah. All right. So all that to say, no pretzels for you, butterfly.

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816.898 - 818.801 Gabriel Mizrahi

Yeah. Percebido, mano.

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818.821 - 822.505 Jordan Harbinger

All right. Let's dive on in. Gabe, what is the first thing out of the mailbag, mano?

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822.772 - 843.404 Gabriel Mizrahi

So, about a month ago on episode 1313, we took a letter from a listener who was asking why we, well, mostly I, I guess, on that one, steered another listener away from religious counseling. The listener he was referring to, just to remind everybody, was this woman. who had terminated a pregnancy unnecessarily because she was very afraid of having a special needs child.

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844.044 - 860.203 Gabriel Mizrahi

She's religious, she's a Christian, she's struggling to talk to other people in her community about this. And so when she wrote in, I said, I would look for a therapist who's outside of your community. And this guy wrote in asking why we would tell a listener to turn away from her faith at precisely the moment she needed it most.

860.538 - 874.332 Gabriel Mizrahi

And I clarified on that recent episode that I was not suggesting she turn away from her faith at all, just that I wasn't sure she was going to receive the true therapy she needed and also hopefully a more objective point of view from a pastor at her church.

874.732 - 886.444 Jordan Harbinger

Right. And that opened up a larger discussion about the risks of religious counseling, how it can often have an agenda or be way less rigorous or not be carried out with the same ethics and standards as, you know, clinical slash licensed psychotherapy.

886.728 - 906.617 Gabriel Mizrahi

Yes. So after we took that letter, I got three fascinating letters from listeners who all had very different experiences with religious counseling. And so I wanted to share them because they're fascinating. And I think they're also going to help round out the picture a little bit more and hopefully balance out some of our own biases or limited experience in this domain.

906.817 - 909.681 Jordan Harbinger

I love it. Three for one deal on religious counseling today.

Chapter 5: What are the signs of emotional instability in a partner?

1458.953 - 1485.342 Unknown

Join the millions who are already banking fee-free today. Head to Chime.com. That's Chime.com. It only takes a few minutes to sign up. By the way, if you haven't signed up yet, check out our newsletter, We Bit Wiser.

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1485.483 - 1497.758 Jordan Harbinger

It's a bite-sized gem from a past episode from us to you, delivered to your inbox on most Wednesdays. If you want to keep up with the wisdom from the show and apply it to your life, I invite you to come check it out. JordanHarbinger.com slash news is where you can find it.

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1499.662 - 1521.359 Gabriel Mizrahi

All right, what's next? Hey, Jordan and Gabe. One of my sisters, Katie, had a terrible postpartum experience when her first child was born two years ago and a friend's church offered biblical counseling, which is different from Christian counseling. In case you don't know, Christian counseling is largely just like secular counseling, but the practitioner happens to be a Christian.

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1522 - 1546.697 Gabriel Mizrahi

It's based on the same worldview, they go to the same schools with the same philosophy, and largely follow the same process, only diverging from standard secular practice where it directly contradicts God's word. Gabe, is that true? I don't know. If she's describing licensed therapists in America anyway who happen to be Christian, then I would be extremely surprised if this were true.

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1546.917 - 1557.411 Gabriel Mizrahi

If they ignored professional duties and best practices when something a patient says or a topic that comes up goes against their faith. I mean, I'm sure it happens, but I'm just shocked to hear this.

1557.762 - 1575.221 Jordan Harbinger

Same here. That surprised me. But if this does happen a lot or a little, that one little difference would change the quote unquote same process dramatically, would it not? I mean, if a patient talks about, I don't know, being gay, at that point, does the therapist go, okay, well, my training taught me to accept people and let the patient drive.

1575.281 - 1580.547 Jordan Harbinger

But now this contradicts God's word, and I have to encourage abstinence and try to convince them that they're straight.

1580.78 - 1599.968 Gabriel Mizrahi

Again, I would be very surprised if most licensed Christian therapists would do that, but I guess it's possible that they might frame things in terms of ethics or maybe they would invite certain concepts into session if the patient hopefully is open to that. I really want to believe that they would still put the patient first and they wouldn't lead with their agenda though, but who knows?

1600.228 - 1600.729 Gabriel Mizrahi

I don't know.

Chapter 6: How does childhood trauma affect adult relationships?

2043.754 - 2058.918 Gabriel Mizrahi

I just, I keep thinking about the opportunity cost of this kind of counseling, the therapeutic experience that could have happened with a different approach, a different kind of training, maybe more time, more space, more openness. It's not the only thing that concerns me, but it's one of the things that concerns me.

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2059.298 - 2067.07 Jordan Harbinger

Is that a kind of harm? Good question. I imagine our friend here would say, of course not. This is the only true healing and it's the only healing I'm interested in.

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2067.387 - 2069.169 Gabriel Mizrahi

But that doesn't mean it doesn't come at a cost.

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2069.429 - 2087.65 Jordan Harbinger

Gabe, you know what this kind of reminds me of? I remember back when I was in college, I was like, oh, I want to find out more about Judaism. And I didn't really know what Hasidic Jews were, which is like these ultra-Orthodox, very specific sect of Judaism. And you see them walking around with the curls and the fur hats that are kind of like this Russian-looking thing and the black clothes.

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2087.79 - 2089.052 Jordan Harbinger

These are the Hasidim, right?

2089.172 - 2090.273 Gabriel Mizrahi

Black Jews, yeah.

2090.253 - 2106.928 Jordan Harbinger

Black hat Jews, yes. And so that's what a lot of people think when they think Jews. They think all Jews are like that. And they're like, you're not Jewish. You don't have a hat or whatever. That's what they were talking about. So I remember this guy, Rabbi Jay, he used to give talks. And look, he was a nice guy. He meant well. But like...

2106.908 - 2129.239 Jordan Harbinger

I remember one person was like, hey, I wanna know why bad things often seem to happen to good people. And he had this story of his sister had gotten murdered by someone and it was this very emotional moment where he was just really vulnerable. And like, there's a lot of crying and we were all like, oh God, I didn't know he was gonna go there. And I don't even think he even meant to go there.

2129.259 - 2149.267 Jordan Harbinger

I think he just asked the question and then the story came out. It was upsetting and emotional. And I'll never forget, this was the last time I did anything at this particular house where we all gathered with the rabbi. He said, the reason bad things happen to good people is they're actually not good people when behind closed doors. So they've actually deserved whatever happened to them.

Chapter 7: What strategies can help manage a volatile partner?

2582.121 - 2599.987 Jordan Harbinger

Limited availability on select routes. More routes coming soon. This episode is sponsored in part by AT&T. You know why I love summer? All those plans we made, they finally make it out of the group chat. Seems like there's more time to fit everybody in. Whatever you've got in store this summer, capturing those memories is a must. That's why I love the iPhone 17 Pro I picked up from AT&T.

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2600.187 - 2615.591 Jordan Harbinger

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2615.932 - 2640.307 Jordan Harbinger

Right now at AT&T, ask how you can get iPhone 17 Pro on them with eligible iPhone trade-in, any condition. Requires trade-in of iPhone 15 Plus or higher, excluding iPhone 16E and 17E. Requires eligible plan. Terms and restrictions apply, subject to change. Visit att.com slash iPhone or visit an AT&T store for details. By the way, you can reach us Friday at jordanharbinger.com.

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2640.367 - 2645.074 Jordan Harbinger

Keep your emails concise. Try to use descriptive subject lines. That makes our job a whole lot easier.

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2645.375 - 2662.041 Jordan Harbinger

If you're the victim of a predator who's following you across state lines, you're trying to figure out what hiring managers really think of you after a string of interview disappointments, or you're wondering if you should break up with your amazing younger boyfriend to spare him the burden of your complicated past, whatever's got you staying up at night lately, hit us up Friday at jordanharbinger.com.

2662.322 - 2675.852 Jordan Harbinger

We're here to help, and we keep every email anonymous. All right, now for letter number three in this extended series I think I'm going to call Religious Counseling, Kingdom of Heaven or Bottomless Pit. Jury's still out, I suppose. Take it away, Gabe.

2676.613 - 2694.094 Gabriel Mizrahi

Hi, Gabe and Jordan. Great episode today. The letter about whether you should have recommended a Christian counselor brought up so many thoughts, and I wanted to offer a few comments regarding the woman struggling after an abortion from the perspective of a Christian pastor. Bottom line, you guys were spot on.

2694.595 - 2696.457 Jordan Harbinger

I gotta say, not the take I saw coming.

2696.707 - 2718.192 Gabriel Mizrahi

I would have recommended the same thing. Great. Abortion is a very sensitive issue, and it's difficult because we don't know the woman's exact denomination. But I understand why she may be hesitant to speak with people in her church. Getting an outside voice and a professional counselor is exactly the right thing to do. As pastors, we are not trained therapists.

Chapter 8: When is it time to reconsider a relationship with a troubled partner?

3121.988 - 3128.277 Gabriel Mizrahi

So we'll hit the rec of the week, and then we'll read this last letter, which I found remarkable. Sounds good.

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3128.677 - 3130.6 Jordan Harbinger

Now for the recommendation of the week.

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3130.698 - 3132.864 Jace Sanderson

I am addicted to lip filler.

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3133.426 - 3155.774 Jordan Harbinger

So my recommendation of the week is super simple. It's called hydrocolloid roll. And it's this very basic thing on Amazon that's like two bucks, three bucks. And it's basically a roll of... tape that is almost like skin inconsistency and sticky on one side and soft on the other. And my kids, they always get little cuts or they always want band-aids.

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3156.415 - 3175.983 Jordan Harbinger

This stuff is so cheap, but it also sticks better. It can be washed. It's reasonably waterproof. I put this on all my little cuticle cuts or paper cuts. Like, oh, I was working on an RC car and I poked myself or I got a little whatever dry skin spot. I put this on there. It's amazing. It'll stay on for days if you want it to. It peels off. It doesn't hurt.

3176.023 - 3194.252 Jordan Harbinger

You don't get the ripping of hair off like you would with a Band-Aid. And you cut it to size. So I keep this. I have it in the bathroom. I have it in my office. I have it in my night kit. I have it in the kitchen for the kids. And again, each roll is like $2.50 for like 10 feet of this stuff. And it's just better than Band-Aids in pretty much every conceivable way. Band-Aids, blisters...

3194.232 - 3208.874 Jordan Harbinger

anything, any kind of scrape. So we'll link to it in the show notes. Again, it's called hydrocolloid roll. I don't understand why they don't make band-aids out of this instead. In fact, I found band-aids that were similar and they were like two bucks each. And this is an entire roll of the stuff for $2.50.

3209.815 - 3224.495 Jordan Harbinger

All right, y'all, you might cut your finger, but you know what won't cut a hole in your pocket? The amazing deals and discounts on the fine products and services that support this show. We'll be right back. Thank you so much for listening to and supporting the podcast.

3224.676 - 3239.325 Jordan Harbinger

All of the deals, discounts, and ways to support the show are searchable and clickable on the website at jordanharbinger.com slash deals. Please consider supporting those who support the show. And now for the rest of Feedback Friday. All right, what's next?

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