Gabriel Mizrahi

He clearly has trauma, compassion, and all of that to a degree, but my god, these rage spirals are happening once or twice a week.

Possibly every two or three days she has to deal with something like this.

This is not normal.

who knows if it's his wiring or there's something going on at home, but I don't know.

So she goes on, we started living together a mere four months into our relationship and became fairly financially interdependent as we both work seasonal and or freelance jobs that come with peak seasons and layoff periods.

And we have no financial support from our families and no real savings or safety net built up.

It's both.

I mean, if you met this guy picking honey crisps in Wisconsin, you would probably laugh at him.

But if you're his girlfriend, this is a Dostoevsky novel.

She goes on, this could lead a person in my situation to feel trapped, but I found some constructive ways to protect and empower myself.

Al-Anon, some counseling, a class on codependency, and nearly two years of regular jiu-jitsu practice where Grandmaster Carlos' mantra to quote, be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind, unquote,

is becoming wired into my muscle memory.

I'm increasingly unperturbed and resilient when my sweetheart has meltdowns.

I see through his predictable way of behaving now, and I've gotten pretty good at setting boundaries and removing myself physically when he's losing his shit, so I'm pretty okay these days.

I've learned to take a very hands-off, let-him-spin-his-own-wheels approach.

My refusal to participate in his worst behaviors has seemed to shorten their duration in the moments they happen.

But I'm also increasingly aware of how persistent his mental health struggles are, of how he self-medicates by sucking on nicotine and THC vapes like baby bottles instead of doing any kind of therapy or truly deep 12-step work, or engaging with nutrition and exercise to mitigate mental health symptoms.

The smell of cotton candy vape fumes is how I will viscerally remember this stage of my life.

that was vivid bro yeah this is very much the madeline soaked in tea of the uh oppositional defiant world i have no idea what that means it's fine i feel like i need to know what a madeline soaked in tea okay no it's fine one of those references that i would be more embarrassed to explain how i know about it than to leave it alone

Yeah, no one knows, Gabe.