Gabriel Mizrahi

Now she's responsible not just for solving this person's problems, but for literally keeping them alive.

Now she's responsible not just for solving this person's problems, but for literally keeping them alive.

The first thing you have to do, I think, is trace this back to its roots. I can almost guarantee that our friend here played a crucial role in her family system in some way. propping up a parent, taking care of a sibling, managing a chaotic home, something like that.

The first thing you have to do, I think, is trace this back to its roots. I can almost guarantee that our friend here played a crucial role in her family system in some way. propping up a parent, taking care of a sibling, managing a chaotic home, something like that.

The first thing you have to do, I think, is trace this back to its roots. I can almost guarantee that our friend here played a crucial role in her family system in some way. propping up a parent, taking care of a sibling, managing a chaotic home, something like that.

We tend to learn these things very early on, and then we carry them forward for so many reasons, because it's familiar, because it's gratifying, because it just is too distressing to think about not playing that role in helping other people. I think we talked about this with Adam, right? Sometimes it can secure love or closeness, or it gives us a sense of being needed, powerful, whatever it is.

We tend to learn these things very early on, and then we carry them forward for so many reasons, because it's familiar, because it's gratifying, because it just is too distressing to think about not playing that role in helping other people. I think we talked about this with Adam, right? Sometimes it can secure love or closeness, or it gives us a sense of being needed, powerful, whatever it is.

We tend to learn these things very early on, and then we carry them forward for so many reasons, because it's familiar, because it's gratifying, because it just is too distressing to think about not playing that role in helping other people. I think we talked about this with Adam, right? Sometimes it can secure love or closeness, or it gives us a sense of being needed, powerful, whatever it is.

I think it's usually a handful of common reasons, but everybody's story is unique. Again, so hard to diagnose on a podcast, even harder to heal. But just seeing the roots of this impulse and where this message came from, that is half the battle. Because once you go, oh, I had to prop up dad my whole childhood. Now I'm locating dad in this person now.

I think it's usually a handful of common reasons, but everybody's story is unique. Again, so hard to diagnose on a podcast, even harder to heal. But just seeing the roots of this impulse and where this message came from, that is half the battle. Because once you go, oh, I had to prop up dad my whole childhood. Now I'm locating dad in this person now.

I think it's usually a handful of common reasons, but everybody's story is unique. Again, so hard to diagnose on a podcast, even harder to heal. But just seeing the roots of this impulse and where this message came from, that is half the battle. Because once you go, oh, I had to prop up dad my whole childhood. Now I'm locating dad in this person now.

I'm over here keeping my buddy Ethan sober and bailing out my friend Jessica for the eighth time and... whatever it is, rewriting my boyfriend's resume for him because he refuses to do it himself. When you see that clearly, it is a lot harder to want to play that role unconsciously. Right. You're at least more aware of it, which makes a big difference. All the difference in the world.

I'm over here keeping my buddy Ethan sober and bailing out my friend Jessica for the eighth time and... whatever it is, rewriting my boyfriend's resume for him because he refuses to do it himself. When you see that clearly, it is a lot harder to want to play that role unconsciously. Right. You're at least more aware of it, which makes a big difference. All the difference in the world.

I'm over here keeping my buddy Ethan sober and bailing out my friend Jessica for the eighth time and... whatever it is, rewriting my boyfriend's resume for him because he refuses to do it himself. When you see that clearly, it is a lot harder to want to play that role unconsciously. Right. You're at least more aware of it, which makes a big difference. All the difference in the world.

And after that, it's about just slowly trying things in a new way and rewriting the rules of those relationships. And that really means bearing the discomfort of not stepping in and saving someone the way you used to. In your case,

And after that, it's about just slowly trying things in a new way and rewriting the rules of those relationships. And that really means bearing the discomfort of not stepping in and saving someone the way you used to. In your case,

And after that, it's about just slowly trying things in a new way and rewriting the rules of those relationships. And that really means bearing the discomfort of not stepping in and saving someone the way you used to. In your case,

That will require you to sit with some feelings, I think probably guilt and probably sadness, that you're not showing up for this person the way that you used to, which is very normal. It might also mean sitting with the feeling that, you know, you might be mean or selfish, which to be clear, you are not.

That will require you to sit with some feelings, I think probably guilt and probably sadness, that you're not showing up for this person the way that you used to, which is very normal. It might also mean sitting with the feeling that, you know, you might be mean or selfish, which to be clear, you are not.

That will require you to sit with some feelings, I think probably guilt and probably sadness, that you're not showing up for this person the way that you used to, which is very normal. It might also mean sitting with the feeling that, you know, you might be mean or selfish, which to be clear, you are not.