Gabriel Mizrahi

But as you're finding out, not all families can.

And that's where this pain gets recreated.

Yes, but I do want to be clear, and I think this is what her story is really about.

That's also very, very painful.

It's not just a matter of intellectually deciding, okay, I'm not going to need dad to back me up anymore.

I'm not going to get upset when...

Bill won't let me meet the kids.

I'm not going to take it personally when stepmom unleashes at me at Thanksgiving when she doesn't make my favorite dishes for my birthday.

And then, you know, like voila, zero pain.

This is about bringing more awareness to what specifically you might be looking for your family to give you, whether it's realistic, whether it's safe to expect those things from them.

And yeah, experimenting with new ways of relating to them, which might in fact be less intimate, less connected, at least for a period of time.

And then noticing what that does.

Does it help your inner state?

Does it invite something new into the family dynamic?

What does it bring up for you?

So once again, Gabe, we're talking about grief.

The apologizing over and over again, the trying so hard to get in her family's good graces, that has probably helped stave off the grief of having to confront the possibility, increasingly the reality, that she might not have the family she ideally wants.

So to go back to your question earlier, Jordan, what happens

If she stops apologizing, what happens when she stops working so hard?

I think so.