Garry Tan

That's actually one of the defining things I'm struggling with right now.

I have a rage and a fire inside me.

And I see it in my therapy sessions.

Actually, I go visit that room.

Like I can visit my seven-year-old version of myself in that apartment with filled with beer cans and technical books and it's tiny and it's a hoarder space.

And like, I slept on the floor, you know, like we didn't have beds, like we had foam pads on the floor and I can go there anytime.

And I can feel the dread of my alcoholic father is going to come home.

And I don't know who's going to come home.

Is he going to be drunk already?

Is he going to beat me?

Like what's going to happen?

But that's also when people look at me on the internet and they're like, what is wrong with that guy?

It's like, what's going on for that guy?

Or they see me with the very extreme intensity of what I want and what I'm trying to make happen.

It's because I can go into that room and I go to my seven-year-old version of myself and he's in there all the time.

And then I bring in a cup and it's like this radioactive cup and he just pours out like liquid plutonium.

And then I go into my day and I got it.

Yeah.

Would you say you have a relationship with him where he's not running the show all the time?

I mean, if anything, like I'm running the show and I'm using him.