Gemma Spake

Give yourself some time.

Of course, if after a while it really isn't working,

you can totally make the best decision, but just give yourself time to really commit to this and to this opportunity.

I've learned so much about homesickness from all the times I've moved.

So I want to give you some tips that I'm currently putting into play in my own life.

Things that are like general and also things that are more actionable that you could do like today.

Firstly, and I think I said this in my seven tips for moving to a new city episode, but for the first three months, this is the biggest tip I will give you.

If you can avoid it, do not go home.

Again, keeping on this breakup metaphor, this is coming back many times.

What is one of the best things that you can do after you break up with somebody in the aftermath of a breakup or a separation?

Go no contact.

And you need to go no contact with the place you miss.

As hard as that is, they're not a toxic ex.

You probably will go back eventually, but it's important to do this to interrupt the detachment process.

Otherwise, your brain is never going to fully clock into this idea that you are in a new chapter, you are in a new season.

Every time you go back, there's a reinforcement loop at play.

Seeing your old room, seeing your old friends, having your own routine gives you a dopamine hit and it temporarily soothes a sense of longing, but that relief strengthens the initial craving because your self-control has weakened.

neuroscience research on breaking an attachment shows that reminders of a lost attachment activate the same reward and craving systems involved in addiction the more you go back the harder it is to move forward as terrible as that may sound secondly i will say

Find your old favorites in your new place.

Make a project out of thinking about all the places that you really loved from your old home and finding the next best thing or the better thing where you are now.