Gemma Spake

is a chronic state of apathy.

When we experience prolonged exposure to not meeting our expectations, to uncomfortable situations that we feel like we can't avoid, we can't alleviate, we're never going to be what we want to be, we effectively learn to accept the situation we are in as a given.

We become stuck.

We become convinced that because we can't be the most exceptional, we are doomed to mean nothing at all.

It is a very black and white form of thinking.

It can also mean that when we do get opportunities or we are put in luck's path,

all the expectation about what that could mean for us makes us choke.

This is classic performance anxiety that I think is directly derived from the pressure to be extraordinary, whereby pressure gets to a point where it's no longer motivating, it is debilitating.

And it means that even when you have all the opportunities you could ask for, you cannot act on them because you are so nervous about

screwing the moment this has traditionally been observed obviously in athletes who at like the final moment they are doing something that they have done since they were children they choke for example there is evidence of this happening time and time again

Research has shown that in the last 30 seconds of tight basketball games, NBA players are I think 5.8% less likely to score from a free throw line than at any other time.

in the game or during their history.

They're also more likely to perform worse in front of a big home crowd.

We're at risk of doing the same.

Yes, we may not be playing basketball, but in job interviews, exams, during big meetings, for big opportunities, when we start gaining momentum with something we're really passionate about, we get so anxious about not doing it correctly or about the possibility that something's going to go wrong that we do nothing and we feel incapable.

The best way we can actually counteract this is to bring back the fun to it.

Basically, when you say to yourself, this is meant to be fun.

This isn't meant to be that serious.

I'm just here to enjoy myself.

I'm here to learn.