375. The psychology of friendship trios
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Hi, Kyle. Could you draw up a quick document with the basic business plan? Just one page as a Google doc and send me the link. Thanks. Hey, just finished drawing up that quick one page business plan for you. Here's the link.
But there was no link. There was no business plan. I hadn't programmed Kyle to be able to do that yet. I'm Evan Ratliff here with a story of entrepreneurship in the AI age. Listen as I attempt to build a real startup run by fake people. Check out the second season of my podcast, Shell Game, on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hello, everybody. I'm Gemma Spake, and welcome back to The Psychology of Your 20s, the podcast where we talk through the biggest changes, moments, and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology. hello everybody welcome back to the show welcome back to the podcast it is so great to have you here back for another episode as we of course break down the psychology of our 20s sometimes we have these episodes where i just go i cannot believe we have never spoken about this before We are like 300, maybe even 400 episodes in, and we have never spoken about this topic. Today, we're going to talk about friendship trios. We know from countless studies and even so many episodes that we've done just how important our friends are, not just for our mental health, but for our
physical longevity even but what kind of happens what changes when it's not just you and another best friend and it's not a huge friendship group either it's like this weird middle ground three people the trio. That can get, and I know we've seen examples of this, like really complicated, not just because friendships are in themselves complicated, but because of this unique platonic triangle dynamic. It can be a beautiful one. You know, you get to call two people your best friend. It can also get really, really messy. One person always kind of maybe feels slightly left behind or distant or like despair. There are moments of jealousy and resentment. And I guess it's really easy to see why. It's not just two people navigating and bouncing their emotions between each other.
Suddenly, it's like almost a bit of a project to keep three different bonds going at once, plus the entire friendship of the three of you as a whole. This is a perfect segue into a story that inspired this episode from a listener. who wrote in with an experience exactly like this, looking for some advice. And I asked her, can I share this story for this episode? And she said, yes, please. So this was her message. I need some advice on whether it's time for me to leave my toxic friendship trio. Some context, me and my best friends have known each other since we were eight years old. We're 24 now. We all went to college together and we've obviously had our ups and downs, but always remained thick friends throughout it all.
What are the unique challenges of friendship trios?
We even dated best friends. My friends were bridesmaids at my sister's wedding. It has kind of been a fairy tale friendship situation in many respects until... Last month. Last month, me and one of my friends had a small falling out after she showed up two hours late to my birthday dinner to go on a date with a guy. A second date, might I add. I expressed I was angry, and then she proceeded to not talk to me for three days, but did speak to our other friend. We semi-made up, but she didn't exactly apologize, and then flash forward to last weekend. I call up the girls to see what their Saturday plans are. And the friend who remained neutral tells me that they are on a trip together with two of our other friends in New York City.
And they had simply forgotten to tell me. I was devastated. We do literally everything together. And they know that going to New York was a dream of mine since even before we met. They said they made the plans in the three days me and my other friend were fighting. I hate to admit it, but I lost my cool and we haven't spoken since. I can tell I've been blocked from seeing their Instagram stories and I'm feeling so lost, angry, devastated and hurt.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–3:27
2
What are the unique challenges of friendship trios?
3:27–6:46
3
How do friendship dyads differ from trios?
6:46–11:56
4
What roles do individuals typically play in a friendship trio?
11:56–16:44
5
How can jealousy impact friendship dynamics?
16:44–20:41
6
What signs indicate a friendship trio is becoming unhealthy?
20:41–27:52
7
How can communication improve friendship trio dynamics?
27:52–33:59
8
What strategies can help maintain a healthy friendship trio?
33:59–41:47