Gemma Spake

It means that you're not getting enough matches, you're not getting enough attention.

And that means that there is an incentive financially for apps like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble to not give you a good service because otherwise they wouldn't be able to upgrade.

And there are all these financial reports from Match.com who owns a lot of those that actually show that

A lot of their revenue comes from low dollar transactions.

People who are choosing to upgrade for $3, $5 because they think it's worth it.

When you feel like you're getting nowhere, when you're frustrated, you're going to pay to make it easier for yourself.

Again, reverse logic.

If you know you make money when your users are frustrated because they'll need a premium service, why would you not design the app to be frustrating if your objective is money?

And I know that sounds all very like, oh my God, conspiracy theory, but the math, like the data is right there that makes so much money off of this.

Why would they design it to be amazing?

Why would they design it for everybody to meet their soulmate within one swipe?

Their business model would be kaput.

I think, though, when you know this and when you know that the apps are playing a game with our emotions, playing a game with our vulnerable moments, you can play them back.

And that kind of brings me naturally into tip number two.

These apps operate on a sense of lawlessness and just like ambiguity and uncertainty.

That is why you have to have rules, very clear rules for yourself for how to approach them.

These rules that you determine will obviously depend on who you are and they will change from person to person.

But I cannot stress enough, firstly, outlining what it is you actually want from the app before you start swiping.

Are you looking for a relationship?

Are you looking for something casual?