Gemma Spake

The moment that you start to

kind of swing away from that goal or lose touch with that goal, I need you to take a break.

Especially if you're looking for a long-term relationship and you're ending up in all these small relationships, it just shows that you're being overwhelmed such that you are not in touch with your true desire anymore.

Design your interactions with the app to best suit your desired outcome.

If you want a relationship, if you want something casual, if you're not sure, how you approach it is going to determine what you get from this situation.

When we get a bit fed up and fatigued with swiping or liking or getting nowhere, we definitely develop this scarcity mindset that pushes us into making pretty poor decisions.

This has happened to me.

I remember like the dating apps were so exhausting back in the day like that I decided to lower my standards and accept lesser treatment or accept people in that like I had no future with.

And that's not and that wasn't conducive to like the kind of relationship goals that I have.

Dating apps are uniquely brilliant at creating what I'd call emotional loose threads.

This is like half conversations, maybe plans, ghost chats, people who pop back up every three weeks like a freaking haunted Victorian child.

And those loose threads add to a big cognitive load.

Like there is this vague stress following us around everywhere.

Because we've like poured a little bit of energy into all these people and we can't keep track of them.

Where is that energy going?

Like we cannot sustain that forever.

Each one of those almost maybe little things is taxing.

So when you put your rules in place, you protect that energy from, I don't know, from the clutter.

I think we all need better dating app hygiene.

Like do not...