Gemma Spake

leave your matches unattended or unanswered like dirty dishes or leftover food if you're not going to touch it in the next 12 to 24 hours you're not going to want it in two days or two months unmatch give them their time back give yourself your time back like clean up after yourself these are the specific rules i know i've kind of talked about this very abstractly the specific rules that i think you should instigate take it or leave it rule number one

When you match with somebody, either of you have 24 hours to message, otherwise you unmatch.

Simple.

This shows, like, if somebody's interested, if you're interested enough, you will reach out.

You will make contact.

If not, no hard feelings.

Like, this is the... You know that scene in, like, The Blind Side where it's like, if you don't like it in the store, you're not going to like it at home?

Same with the dating apps.

If you don't like them...

at the first impression you're not going to change your mind in two days and if you do change your mind it's going to be because you're bored and that's not fair for anybody 24 hours unmatch another rule similar to that one if they have stopped replying literally hit them up with like a hey where did you go kind of message in like a kind funny way if they don't respond to that message unmatch 12 hours 24 hours especially if you've been messaging pretty consistently up until that point

Again, we are at stage one of the dating process.

There is no room for potential.

There is only room for facts.

If they can't come through right now, no, no, no.

A similar version of this, one of my friends actually has this rule where if they haven't met up within a week, I think it is, a week and a half, or there isn't a concrete plan made to meet within that next week, then she unmatches.

It turns out that a lot of the research into successful use of dating apps backs this method up.

Studies suggest that modality switching, basically moving from online to offline interactions, is really beneficial.

And it actually means that people are going to have more fun or enjoy their dating experience more.

Whereas online chatting for extended periods of time actually increases a sense of idealization.

It inflates expectations and it also increases the risk of disappointment because you've built up a whole fantasy without proof.