Gemma Speck

So this is when you really start to feel it.

This is when you really also might start to notice excessive rumination and obsessive thoughts.

Essentially, like...

Now, like the data, now the information of the actors has caught up to you and your brain is going to start really like trying to review and figure out what happened.

Essentially just to restore like the broken narrative of our worldview, to try and find like the explanation, the puzzle piece for like why did somebody do this?

Like you want the world to make sense again.

You want a logical reason as to why somebody acted this way towards you.

This emotional looping of like searching, trying to find an answer, it is a form of coping.

And what's ironic about this is our brain is trying to protect us.

Our brain is trying to conclude the story, find some closure.

But that rumination often makes it worse because it starts encoding that memory even deeper and deeper and deeper.

In short, I think this whole explanation, this neurological, biological explanation shows us that betrayal is a form of trauma.

Betrayal is a profound loss.

And it's not just one loss.

That's the thing.

You are losing so many things.

You experience the loss of trust, firstly, but then you also probably experience the loss of this relationship.

You don't want to be with them anymore or be around them anymore.

You then experience the loss of the future that you imagined with that person or with those people, all your plans, all those opportunities.

You then lose dignity.