Gemma Speck

You literally couldn't if your brain was blocking you from knowing.

An example of this might be with the parent abusing a child, right?

This leaves the child in a terrible situation.

They cannot speak up.

They also cannot pull away because they have to engage in this relationship to have their basic needs met.

And somebody might not listen to them and it will make it worse.

This is why children or people sometimes experience betrayal blindness.

They just don't even recognize that that was betrayal because to do so would mean they would have to leave or no longer have that bond.

It's different to when you're an adult or it's different to when you have a bit more control and you can confront somebody.

You can do something, hopefully, especially in these situations if you're a grown child versus a young child.

You could confront a partner who cheated on you.

You could leave the relationship in some cases.

The problem arises with betrayal blindness when you don't have power, you're dependent on them emotionally, financially, physically.

Our response of withdrawal is

Like is the only one that we have, like the only way that we can get through this is to be like, this is not happening.

This is not occurring because I need my needs to be met and acknowledging betrayal would mean that I would have to, I would have to leave and that would be deeply dangerous for me.

This is going to actually show up at work too.

We might feel really neglected and betrayed by a boss, but because we rely on that job for financial security, we don't want to rock the boat.

Again, betrayal blindness as a means of self-preservation.

Our brains literally may erase the experience entirely.