Gordon Flett

Seuraavaksi Passion Struckissa.

Do you think you could make a difference where you might be feeling lonely and then kids gravitate towards you? But yes, just seeing the difference. And there's real life examples of this as well that I think can be pointed to, that parents and teachers can point to in terms of somebody who has got on the mattering track and really made a difference in the lives of others.

Koska olit aiemmin tuossa, joka ei ollut niin kauan sitten, paljon on muuttunut matkusten aiheeseen. Mikä on muuttunut sinun ajattelunsi? Minun käsitykseni tähän liittyen, ensinnäkin olen iloinen nähdä kasvua alueella. Tämä tarkoittaa myös muiden ihmisten työtä. Olen keskittynyt enemmän käsityksellä näihin asioihin ja auttamaan ihmisiä.

mattering as the resource that they need to help them in terms of healing and getting over things. So there's that element of it in terms of the application and just continuing to focus on concepts I've studied like antimatter, which I'm sure we'll talk more about. But I just see more and more how this concept resonates with people and the many ways that it can be put into action. I've had people reaching out to me as well in terms of what can be done to

Make it more of a focus. So next month I'll be talking with a local school board who's going to make mattering at the heart of their five-year safety plan. And it just continues to grow. And as a result of this, when people say to me, are you ever going to really retire? Since I retired at the beginning of last year, I say, well, how can you? When there's work to be done here and information to be shared that can help people and

I also look at the state of the world in terms of where we are right now and so many people out there feeling alone and insignificant and knowing that there are people out there who need to get a sense of mattering and a sense of significance through connections with other people and the roles that they might be able to assume.

the double jeopardy of feeling alone and feeling insignificant. It even hit me in terms of famous songs, the Beatles song Eleanor Rigby. Father McKenzie giving a sermon where nobody will hear it. Eleanor Rigby picking up the rice in a church buried along with her name, Nobody Came. It hit me that back in the 60s, the Beatles figured it out that it wasn't just the loneliness of, oh, look at all the lonely people. It was all the lonely people who actually felt insignificant.

unimportant, unnoticed, invisible. So it's been around as a concept and the Beatles were always way ahead of everybody else. But when I look at the numbers and the increasing numbers, I see that it's definitely an issue of not mattering, which I think can also be through comparisons through social media and the like. One study I'd cite here that I did with a French colleague who contacted me

was focused on not mattering in society. And he was showing me that the link between not mattering in society was linked with criminal sentiments and violence, not believing in the justice system. And then I said to him, but can you just tell me how many young people in your sample of around 400 French adolescents felt like they don't matter in society? He got back to me. He said, I can't believe it. It's like two thirds, two out of three say I don't matter in society.

Once you have that sense of disconnect from society where you're feeling alienated, it's all the more important to get the sense of mattering through your family, through your community, through school and whatever. It's another form of double or triple jeopardy. If you don't matter in society where you're from a marginalized group, then you really do need to get that sense of importance and connection and caring from others. The other thing I'll say in terms of the loneliness link is that I did a study with colleagues in China

who now showed through this massive sample that they had with four age groups that the strong link between loneliness and not mattering was there among kids in grades four to six in China. And I was sure if that study was done in North America or in Europe, same sort of findings would be there. So if you have that sense that very early on is established between not mattering and loneliness, that's going to carry forward with some that have chronic loneliness and

My daughter's dissertation research, because she's also in psychology, looked at developing a measure of chronic loneliness and showed that antimattering was especially strongly correlated with the loneliness that lasts, because people see themselves as somebody who's not somebody that other people want to be with, often being incorrect about that, because they just haven't put themselves out there for others to enjoy their company. But when it's associated with chronic loneliness and

There are vital roles that are there for the older people in society. And that focus has made it sort of away from what we call the collectivist orientation to more of an individualistic approach. And the problem is, though, that the pressures that people are under, especially the younger people, the quest for it to happen to be absolutely perfect, is wrapped around this sense of not mattering and always having to strive. But yeah, in general, the focus on older people

I have a paper that I wrote out of sheer frustration with my colleague back in the start of the pandemic just to see the number of times there were accounts of older people who were treated as if they were expendable. There was even one instance where they changed hospitals for the protection of the people and they forgot a guy and left him there all by himself and the entire institution in a Canadian example there.

Kuulin, että jos meidän täytyy tehdä vaihtoehto ekonomiin vastaan vanhempien ihmisten välillä, me valitsemme ekonomin. Se huono tuntee, ettei kukaan tiedä, mikä on sinun elämäsi. Se tuntuu käsittävältä ja ei ole tärkeää. Rosenbergin perussuomalaisen paperin jälkeen,

said that the two groups most susceptible are adolescents and all the identity issues that are going on and physical changes with adolescents and older people. And he specifically talked about people who are retiring. And that, of course, resonated with me as well in terms of that need to still be doing something that's useful and seen as useful where you can make a contribution. And invariably, when we look at the people who are heading towards 100, like my

My wife's uncle, Derek, almost made it to 100. He was 99 and three quarters. If he wasn't stubborn, he would have made it to 100, because he didn't accept help a lot of the time. Very self-reliant. But he became the man of the community, and this included throughout his 90s even, so that he felt so useful, even though he lived by himself in the same house he was born in all of his life. And I once asked him, I said, Derek, have you ever felt lonely? Because you live by yourself.

His brothers had passed and he cut me off. He says, not for a second. He goes, because I know right out that door there's people down the street I can go drop in and they check in on me when they haven't seen me in a while and it makes an incredible difference. And he told me a funny story. He says, you know, he says, my vitality in the 90s, he goes, I'm a volunteer for Meals on Wheels. And he goes, I actually deliver to people who are younger than me because I'm doing better than them. I said, it had to be that sense of

Giving to others as a way of keeping your sense of connection and importance and usefulness that can blunt a lot of the health challenges that come along.

Mitä se tuntuu henkilökohtaisesti? Tarkoittelin tätä kertaa, kun katsoin jotain työtä, jotka osoittavat, että meillä oli liittyvyys antimatteriin ja se, mikä on kutsuttu psykiatrisiksi, tai psykologisella huolta. Tämä on silloin, kun sinulla on syvällisiä, syvällisiä ajatuksia ja todella vaikeaa itseäsi. Ja toisaalta siinä oli todella vahva korrelaatio. Mutta aluksi ajattelin,