Gorgi Coghlan

I want you to check in to say...

Are you okay?

What do you need?

I don't want to be always the one that has to tell you what I want.

And that was a really beautiful release for me because that was 50 years or 40 years, you know, if you look at when I was parentified, 40 years of programming that I could sit over here.

So that was beautiful, difficult, but beautiful.

And so now what I'm doing, I'm a big boundary.

I know we'll end up talking about boundaries because I'm a boundary queen.

But I've always focused on external boundaries, boundaries out here, boundaries to keep people and things out of the way.

And I was like, I need to work better on my internal boundaries.

And so the whole concept of internal boundaries of, hey, how are you feeling here?

This is not feeling right.

I'm not going to be exhausted and abandon myself.

So now I'm getting really good, Lael, at checking in internally.

I think I'm abandoning myself there.

No, I'm not going to do that.

But coming to it with gentle compassion and self-compassion and kindness, particularly for that little girl and saying to her, ah, yeah, I can feel you having a little tanty here and I can feel you going, I can't do this and I'm not going to override you.

I'm going to listen to you.

It's vulnerable, which is...

It's hard to pivot sometimes from the boss lady and I've got this and I'm the leader to can you hold me?