Humans, being. with Lael Stone
Gorgi Coghlan, being. with Lael Stone | Speaking Our Needs ♥︎
03 May 2026
Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is the hidden cost of being 'the strong one'?
I don't think we talk enough about the quiet kind of kindness, the kind that happens behind closed doors with no recognition. It's the parent who keeps showing up, the friend who sits with you in the hard moments, or the neighbour who just gets it. That's the kind of kindness that shapes us as humans and it deserves to be seen.
And that's why I've partnered with Humankind for Australia's Kindest Person. I'm lucky enough to be connected to the kindness close to home category, which is really all about the people in your everyday world, the ones who make life feel a little safer, a little softer, a little more connected. And this isn't about big gestures or perfect people.
It's about real humans choosing kindness again and again. So if someone comes to mind right now, that's your person. And I invite you to take a minute and nominate them. There's a $50,000 award split between Australia's kindest person and their favorite charity. But more than that, it's a chance to honor the kind of people who often go unseen.
you can head to Australia's kindest person.com.au to nominate now. And let's join humankind in recognizing and rewarding kindness. Ah, the human experience with our flaws, our passions, our triggers, our inspirations and our imprints. If we could see behind everyone's story, then perhaps what we would have is deep compassion.
In this podcast, I get the chance to explore these stories from some truly fascinating people in some honest and heartwarming conversations. And best of all, I get to share these discussions with you. I'm Lael Stone, and this is Humans Being.
Humans Being
Welcome to Humans Being, I'm Lael Stone, and my humanness for this week is all centered around how nothing is wasted. And what I mean by that is, we go through life and we do these random jobs, or we have these...
uh extraordinary circumstances or events that happen and then as you get older you begin to see just how relevant they have been in the grand landscape of your life and i'm at this point in my life where you know i do a lot of working online with people i um you know i do events i public speak i you know, have written books, all these kinds of things that I've done.
And I'm realizing and reflecting that so much of what I did when I was younger has actually shaped where I am now. And I haven't talked about this a lot. People who maybe have followed me for a while may know this, but the first company I ever created and started was when I was 20 years old and it was called Wishlandia and it was a children's entertainment company.
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Chapter 2: How do internal versus external boundaries impact well-being?
But it meant that he wasn't around a lot, so there was no emotional connection. So I think I just took that little girl And she just drove this, if I work hard and I'm great at everything and I'm almost perfect at everything, he might see me. If I'm completely, which that's the way I operate, completely honest and vulnerable.
And so it's given me so much joy because I don't ever have to question the passion, the ethic, the... There's a classic saying, if I'm going to do something, I do it well. My girlfriends will laugh. You'll do it brilliantly, George, and perfectly. But I completely now am a recovering perfectionist. I'm so much kinder to myself, just acknowledging that little girl.
And I always talk to her and say, it's okay. It doesn't need to be perfect now. You've done so much in your life. And I really have to sit in play. I consciously have to... invite play into my life, find play because, and I was parentified pretty young as well because mum and dad had stuff going on in their marriage and I was really, gosh, see, we go deep straight away.
Because mum, you know, she, just the way it was, like I just was, I ended up being her support network earlier than what I probably should have been. So I do have to fight the hypervigilance sometimes. Yeah. And then as a result of that, I can be hyper independent. Yeah. So I'm constantly sort of just touching her and going, it's okay. Yeah. It's okay. We can play. Yeah. We can have fun.
We don't need to achieve everything in the one hit. Yes. We can take a breath, George. Yes. Yes. So that's where I'm at though in such a beautiful space of doing the work constantly to check in with those little versions of myself to make sure that I'm There's the joy. And then I'm not modeling that to Molly.
Yeah.
Yep. Because even the other day she said something like to me, like, I said something like, what's your goal with soccer? And she just went, oh, just to have fun. And I could feel part of my little inner child going, what else? And I was like, George, stop. That's right. That's the correct answer. I'm so proud of her saying, just have fun. It doesn't need to go anywhere, mum. I'm like, great.
Yes. Yes. Yeah. That was foreign to my inner child.
Yeah. Totally. And you can kind of feel it in your body, can't you? Because there's a part of you being like... Well, hang on, but what about this? And I do that sometimes with my kids if they've like, I've got this business idea. I've like written the business plan for them before they've even finished talking. And then they're like, yeah, nah, it's just an idea.
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Chapter 3: What does reconciling with a parent before it's too late mean?
And it's really interesting, I think, in our society, because what that does sometimes for the child is it makes them grow up. It makes them be quite mature. They know how to take care of things. They all say, you know, I don't need any help. And in our society and culture, we think that's a good thing. Like we often reward that. We reward the independence of
We reward that you're a self-made woman, you can do whatever you need, all that kind of stuff. Yet what it doesn't do is it doesn't allow us to be taken care of sometimes. It doesn't allow the vulnerability. Like they're the things that you then have to work on. Has that been challenging for you to soften into that, to allow yourself to be taken care of, to not have to do it all?
Huge, huge challenge. And I think it's all come to the fore when you turned 50. I turned 50 last year and then mixed in a little bit of perimenopause with that. Fun times. Fun times. And for me... I think it's that combination layer of what you're saying is you're reparenting yourself, you're parenting your child, which you take so seriously.
You're possibly still beginning the process of parenting your own parents. And my father passed away only sort of 18 months ago. And mum's getting, you know, she's 82 now, so she's getting older. And my brother's been unwell with a blood cancer. So you've got that whole, I feel like and I'm happy to be this child leader of the family, but when you've been parentified young, that's all you know.
But the cost of that is... it just becomes too much, the load becomes too much, and when people would always say, I mean, but you're so strong. I mean, you're amazing, because you are so strong. I realized that that was starting to trigger me, and I was getting resentful. And at my 50th birthday, I made sure that I said to my girlfriends, who were just incredible group of friends,
It sort of just poured out of me, I said, thank you so much for your support, and I know that I'm strong, and I know, because they were all like, oh, we just love that you always get us together and do this, and I said, yes, but strong women need help too. And I just probably, coming into my 50th year, I want to recognize and articulate that I do need support, I do need help, I can't do it all.
And then I had this moment late last year, stuff was obviously happening, and I was at the end, you know, my cup was really empty, and And I was just in the shower and I was having this big cry and I was just talking to my little inner child. And I said to her, I just felt so overwhelmed and resentful and done, I suppose. And I said to her, what do you need? What do you need?
And as loud as day, she came back to me and just said, someone to advocate for me. Wow. And I just started crying, going, that's it. I'm advocating for everybody else, but no one's advocating for me.
And that wasn't a victim mentality at all, because I have an extremely divine, loyal, supportive, kind, beautiful husband, incredibly emotionally intelligent daughter, I have incredible family, friends. But I am still the one that picks up all the pieces. And so I came down to Simon and he was like, oh my God, what's wrong? And I just started crying.
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Chapter 4: What is the superpower of highly sensitive people?
Before they kind of got locked in, where was it really tricky for you?
Well, see, mum was always incredibly – mum's amazing. She's always been incredibly independent, fiercely, you know, raised – was really feministic and loved it and – So it's not as if – no, I didn't have any people – I'm not a people pleaser at all.
Like sometimes I wish I had a little bit of people pleasing in me now because I just can be so blunt and so – like my girlfriends laugh and go, oh my God, you're so harsh. I'm like, well – You want the truth. Here it is. Yeah. So I'm the friend that people come to when they want the truth.
Yeah.
No, so I didn't, there's no people pleasing. It's funny, it doesn't come from that. It comes from, I think, seeing the best in people and then being screwed over, which happened in my 20s. Okay. So with a relationship that I just got so hurt and betrayed and so toxic that it was almost like a, it was almost like, imagine just being swiped sideways. A bit like, what the hell just happened then?
And realizing then, when I unpacked it, of like, oh my gosh, like I just totally was taken on a ride there of, you know, so much emotional stuff that manipulation and things like that, that I didn't even sort of process. So that's, that's when I started to do the work. And that's when I started to realize, ah, right, okay, sometimes people aren't what they seem.
So it really came because I've always been feisty and strong-willed and independent. But obviously, everything happens. Nothing's wasted. So I needed to learn to be true to myself. So that's why that relationship came into my life. So it was after that relationship that I really sat down and thought, hang on a minute.
And the science that a part of my brain was like, there has to be a logical way of how this is going to work. So I think then I... Maybe I used boundaries then after being so hurt to feel safe. And then other people kept coming into my life, even when I was in a great relationship, that the universe kept sending me people to test me.
And my greatest teachers are people that don't respect boundaries. So it's hard to articulate it, but I think it's It's just come from a place of conserving my energy, realizing that not everyone gets to receive my cup, and that's okay.
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Chapter 5: How does returning to drama school at 50 influence personal growth?
I said, I believe I could do that and do that well, but I would need X, Y, and Z, because then I feel like I would need that support. And I think that's really powerful as you get older, knowing that
And knowing, yeah, knowing what you, I still have that hunger to, I have such a hunger, and that's why I think you and I are such kindred spirits, you know, a hunger to just keep doing all this fantastic stuff, because why not? We get one crack at life, and the joy I get from doing new things is just, I just adore it. You know, we get one life, and that'll always drive me, that hunger to do that.
Yeah. But they're then balancing that with, yeah, why not? I can do that. Let's jump off this cliff now and do this. But now saying, and I need this. So it's that both and. Yes. I'm really tapping into that both and. Yes. Yeah.
And I think that I can – I relate to what you're saying there. I think the – When I look back in those times where if an opportunity came, I would just say yes, because I was like, oh my god, they're asking me and I'm just going to do it.
Even though it maybe didn't serve me in all the ways, there's something that comes with that maturity to be like, yeah, and you know, and this is what else I'm going to need. And it's knowing or owning that value within ourselves, isn't it? To be like...
Yes.
Yeah, I am worth this and this is what it feels like. And, you know, that's what I'm going to need to be able to do that. I love that. It's a good reminder.
I do think as we get older, like there's so many annoying things about perimenopause, but what is beautiful is it feels like a return to home with your body. So amidst the shit show, you do reconnect. And my manager and I always laugh. Like we talk about, she says to me, you know, what is it? Is it a full body? Yes. Like when you get an offer and I say, she goes, it's not a full body. Yes, is it?
And I said, nah. It's not because I can just feel it. And even though it can be the most amazing opportunity and I can attach cognitively to, oh, but that would be good exposure and that would look good. It's probably going to rate well. My body is telling me, uh-uh. So it's always a visceral response for me. And then as soon as...
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Chapter 6: Who advocates for strong women and why is it important?
I was like, he's no different. I'm like, what are you talking about? How could you not see this? And my husband always laughs and says to me, oh, sweetheart, you're just on a different level. Like you just see stuff that other people. And I'm like, can't you see that?
And it's both a blessing and a curse. And it's like when you think about you would have learned that as a kid because you had to of gauging energy where everything is at. Yeah, I was the same too. I was such a shy kid. And so painfully shy that the only way that I felt I could feel safe in the environment is to watch and read other people.
So black became a protective mechanism for myself of just like, oh, that person does that thing. And like, I remember, I have memories of like being four or five sitting under like the dining room table, watching the adults and going, oh, that person just always tries to make people laugh. And that person, they don't look good even though they're smiling.
Like I just remember, I could feel it even as a kid.
making sense and i remember thinking and i didn't realize that not everybody did that read people but i could always and then you'd go into a room and i'd know what i have to do to help the room feel better same you know which was again sometimes that i needed to stay nice and happy and safe in order to feel okay so you know i realized that that's there was really protective parts within that but it was also just part of my nature of being really sensitive as well
to energies, to people, to all those kinds of things, which makes me good working as a therapist with people, right? Because you can read and you feel and you sense.
So there are these beautiful gifts that we have, yet they also can be hard, really hard sometimes because you're feeling all of what's going on and which is why you often need some serious recharge time because- That's why I'm such, like people laugh.
What do you mean you're an introvert and you work in the media? Exactly what you're saying is what my childhood was. And I think I also had to learn to do that because mum and dad had you know, just a marriage that was, we never knew what was going to happen when we came home. So I had to learn to read the weather really quickly. And my brother and I both like that.
And it took me a long time to realize that, oh, so not everyone thinks like that or sees this stuff like that. I don't think I really got that to my late 20s. And it's such a beautiful, I love what it gives me, but I have to,
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Chapter 7: What role do boundaries play in personal and professional relationships?
I know I probably will. And it comes and I observe it and I let it move through me and do it anyway. And it's so funny in those moments when I feel wobbly and I'll go to Mike and I'm like, oh, I don't really think I've got anything good to say. And I do the spiral and he kind of just nods because he knows it. And then he looks at me and he goes, you know, you're going to do it anyway.
And I go, yeah, I am. So he goes, let's just get on with it. And I go, okay, yeah, and then do it.
I say that to Molly all the time. So I'm going to look at her and say, we love you. We just want you to have a good sense of self in life. We don't need you to be happy all the time. But, honey, there is so much to be said for. Just do the work. Yeah, that's it. Just do the work. Powerful.
All right, to finish off, do you have anything you would like people to know about what you've got going on? Is there anything, any shows, anything exciting coming up?
Lots of little things bubbling away, but just keep an eye on songbirds. My girlfriend, Adeline, and I are doing a beautiful show together. And that's just magical. It's play. Play and music, which makes me very, very happy. And yeah, I think hopefully some of your listeners might hear me on ABC radio a little bit this year, which is super fun. I'm just feeling so at home there.
I know. And as soon as I saw that you were doing that, I was like, of course. Like it was like a, oh, absolutely. That's what a beautiful place for you to be in. Thank you. But thank you for having me, beautiful woman. It's my absolute pleasure. There's a spark within you that stands for the goodness.
you know i see that in you and as you keep striving forward and doing all that you're doing like i just i hope it gives others permission to do the same that's that's what i see in you so much coming from you you really help me feel seen so thank you beautiful one thank you thank you so much for coming today Oh, this chat with Georgie could have gone for about four hours.
So we really did have to cut it when we did because there's so much that I really enjoy talking to her about. I'm just, she's just such a formidable woman who I think comes across in that episode of just knowing who she is and standing and claiming her place.
I really was moved by the rawness of when she was talking about just who's going to advocate for her and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, especially when you're a really strong woman who's used to doing things. There's something that can feel so vulnerable and tender in allowing yourself to be held, and I really loved that part of our conversation.
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