Grace Alice O'Shea

I find in most couples, there's usually one person who initiates a bit more.

But what I'm hearing is that person, though, isn't really feeling desired because their partner isn't initiating.

So the first thing I would say is there are other ways for your partner to make you feel desired apart from initiating sex.

We want to feel seen outside of the bedroom as well.

So like, you know, compliments, touch, kissing, flirting, all of that makes you feel seen and desired outside of sex itself.

But when it comes to initiating sex, you just need to talk to your partner and ask, you know, I find that I'm initiating a lot.

Is there a reason you don't?

You know, what's going on for you there?

Again, it sounds like once it gets going, it's great.

Which is a lot of it.

Like that's, again, that's pretty good.

communication yeah if you're not really used to communicating much and you want to communicate more which hopefully everyone does because it's so important absolutely baby steps is the way to start I think first of all thinking about you know how comfortable are you communicating and what fears are coming up there and spending some time on that and

thinking before you go into a conversation, articulating what is it actually you're trying to say here?

Because sometimes then when we get into the conversation and emotions might come up and we can just kind of lose the run of what we were actually trying to say to begin with.

I would say regular check-ins is a good place to start.

Just relationship check-ins.

So even myself, my partner, we'll try and sit down about once a month and we'll be like, what's going on with you?

How was the last month?

Not even just sex, just generally.

How are you feeling?