Grace Beverley

over what other people found embarrassing and I think that's why I think this matters so much because the fear of being cringe is often just the fear of being seen trying and being seen to try is actually a given now like even if you're starting a new job somewhere that you feel like you are not qualified to be in that job or whatever it might be you're going to be seen on LinkedIn trying that job you're going to be seen if it doesn't work out you might as well go for the things that you actually want to do and that you actually think link up to where you want to

get to so I've spent a lot of time trying to think about how you get over that fear of trying and how you get over the fear of cringe without ruining your self-awareness around maybe there are some things that you shouldn't be posting online every day because I do also believe that as well like I don't think that you should mow down all of your boundaries or mow down all of your self-awareness around what to do and what not to do I think that a little bit of embarrassment is healthy you're going to have to have a little bit of embarrassment to get to where you want to get to at the same time you don't need to completely bulldoze

your personal brand but i put these into some steps that i think are what really helped me overall to be able to continue to try publicly when the stakes felt higher and higher actually because yes as much as i was building a track record for building businesses or whatever it might be the stakes felt higher starting each new thing when it felt like there was more of an audience because again that was trying to a bigger audience so step one is to really shrink the audience in your head

i heard jemma spegg say recently on her podcast the psychology of your 20s that you should choose four people whose opinions genuinely matter to you and you should focus solely on those i think that is so powerful like it's such a powerful reframe for avoiding the cringy feeling when you put yourself out there because most of us are subconsciously performing for an imaginary panel of critics that probably includes old classmates

people we barely know, and sometimes even strangers that we've invented in our heads.

Also, I find a lot of the time that my panel is made up of the people who I already know don't like me, or I already know find me the most embarrassing or whatever it might be.

So of course, everything I'm judging myself with is gonna be the harshest critics.

Like that imaginary audience has way too much power.

And importantly, they all represent different expectations in your head.

Like you simply cannot please them all and nor should you be trying to.

So instead, I think what's really useful here is consciously deciding on whose opinion actually counts.

Maybe it's your partner.

Maybe it's your sibling.

Maybe it's a parent.

Maybe it's some close friends.

Maybe it's your future self.

That is it.

Like create the panel and lock in the panel.

If those people would be proud of you for trying this specific thing, then I completely agree that that is enough.

And of course, you're not going to take every one of those people's preferences on that panel every single time.