Grace Kuhlenschmidt

Thanks to that metallic wonder bubble watching over us, I can finally say, hey, Chinese President Xi Jinping, make like your pandas do once a year and get . Boom, roasted!

Sorry, I can't hear you under my no-give-a-fuck umbrella. Hey, Lichtenstein, lick my ass! France, take a shower! Russia, why don't you rush into the shower or something? Got him! Hey, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, do you have to suck moose every night or you just do that for fun? You poutine bitches! Sorry, not sorry!

Sorry, I can't hear you under my no-give-a-fuck umbrella. Hey, Lichtenstein, lick my ass! France, take a shower! Russia, why don't you rush into the shower or something? Got him! Hey, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, do you have to suck moose every night or you just do that for fun? You poutine bitches! Sorry, not sorry!

Like, like tomorrow it'll be ready?

Like, like tomorrow it'll be ready?

Okay.

Okay.

Well, Jordan, now that I'm here on the jet, I can confirm with my reporting that this jet is awesome. This just in, rich people are badass and so cool.

Well, Jordan, now that I'm here on the jet, I can confirm with my reporting that this jet is awesome. This just in, rich people are badass and so cool.

Um, it's called investigationary journalism, Troy. How would I know if they're serving champagne or Prosecco if I don't drink a bottle of each?

Um, it's called investigationary journalism, Troy. How would I know if they're serving champagne or Prosecco if I don't drink a bottle of each?

Oh, I'll tell you what they have access to. Movies that haven't even come out yet. I just saw Shrek 12. I don't know how that Shrek keeps getting away with it.

Oh, I'll tell you what they have access to. Movies that haven't even come out yet. I just saw Shrek 12. I don't know how that Shrek keeps getting away with it.

It's not easy for me either. I took a bubble bath, so I didn't see the first 30 minutes of Shrek 13. I missed Lord Farquaad's coming out story. This just in, Dragon is kind of homophobic.

It's not easy for me either. I took a bubble bath, so I didn't see the first 30 minutes of Shrek 13. I missed Lord Farquaad's coming out story. This just in, Dragon is kind of homophobic.

Don't.

Don't.

When you hear off the grid, you probably think of living in a cute cottage in the woods like Ted Kaczynski. But you don't have to venture way the into the wilderness to live like Ted. Meet Josh Spodek, astrophysicist, NYU professor, and real life Captain Planet.

When you hear off the grid, you probably think of living in a cute cottage in the woods like Ted Kaczynski. But you don't have to venture way the into the wilderness to live like Ted. Meet Josh Spodek, astrophysicist, NYU professor, and real life Captain Planet.

Okay, twin, I also only take out my trash once a year. But recently, Josh went even further, taking his Manhattan apartment off the electrical grid completely. So what is your problem with electricity? Did it kill your family? Or did it because I'm now realizing that's kind of something that could happen?