Grace O'Connor

He came to my house.

Principals, everyone.

And it's funny because I've met people afterwards that have been widowed and they said they hated people calling.

I'll be very honest, that was the only thing that got me out of bed.

Because I knew, we sat at my kitchen table and we spoke about James.

I know now, to me in my brain at that time, he wasn't dead.

I was getting up.

That day I went shopping with Lily, I brought a Christmas jumper.

And I clearly wasn't thinking I remember after Jamestide, my friend comes in and she goes, your jumper is lovely.

And I looked down and every day after Jamestide I was wearing this pink glittery jumper.

I was just getting up every morning, throwing it on.

But my sister's there, she stays with me for a few days.

James's sisters came to the house and when they came, I remember feeling OK.

They feel what I'm feeling.

You don't have to talk.

Everyone in my life, of course, they love and miss James, but they're feeling bad for me and the kids.

That was their brother.

They were feeling this pain too, this excruciating pain too, you know.

They all had to have that phone call too.

And it's hard to describe.