Grant Elliott aka The Hairy Jav

Can you imagine a jet ski coming at you just laden with TNT?

So if we ever get invaded, the thousands of jet skis in the North Shore and in Mission Bay will just get jettisoned across the Hauraki Gulf.

Hey fellas.

Fellas.

After we got this new Bulwarks coach Dave Rennie, anyone kind of feel like it's a hand-me-down from Australia?

Like our older brother giving us his old phone?

It doesn't work very well, didn't really want it, but it'll do for now.

Anyways, love yous fuckers.

Tell us how you really feel.

Yeah, I could see how you could come to that conclusion.

I guess he was cast off by Australia, wasn't he?

I think he was cast off early, way too early by Australia.

Yeah, but there's very little expectations on this tour now.

I think if we get beat, though, people won't be that happy about it.

Oh, no, shit no.

We won't be, but it must be it's the most ill-prepared full tour of South Africa of all time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You think about how the Lions prepare for tours of Australia and South Africa and New Zealand.

They're like two years out.

They're doing research on the opposition.