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The Agenda

"Box Chat With Grant Elliott aka The Hairy Jav"

13 Mar 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What are the best horror-themed nicknames for sports players?

0.031 - 9.249 Unknown

Good news today, boys, because tonight on the commentary, no doubt, it will be, once again, the horror text-based theme because it is Friday the 13th today.

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9.289 - 17.905 Grant Elliott aka The Hairy Jav

Oh, two months in a row. James McConey, the last time we did the Friday the 13th, that was the famous offer sung in the Aussie.

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18.172 - 20.175 G Lane

Oh, God. Yes, yes, yes.

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Chapter 2: What updates were shared about the latest Round of Super Rugby?

20.976 - 42.58 G Lane

A name that we haven't actually cleared, a nickname that was never cleared. No, no. I mean, there are many that have been cleared. Yes. Jar Jar Binks with Naito Akoi cleared. Deadlands with Eni Anari cleared. Yes. But, yeah, I just haven't managed to wander up to Ofa, the biggest human in terms of height and width in New Zealand rugby.

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42.6 - 48.897 Grant Elliott aka The Hairy Jav

And just say, hey. Hey. What do you reckon about Ofa, Tanga and Niasi?

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0

49.711 - 51.154 Unknown

I mean, we could post this on the socials.

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52.116 - 53.119 G Lane

Well, no, no, no.

53.139 - 60.755 Grant Elliott aka The Hairy Jav

Take a minute and let's see what he thinks. That's always my way of doing it. It's tagging them on socials. We'll just hide behind the screen. And then just run for the hills.

61.056 - 64.484 G Lane

Oh, by the way, Ben O'Keefe, Ben O'Keefe, happy with O'Keefe.

Chapter 3: How has the Grim Lane curse affected Ryan Fox?

64.504 - 70.722 Grant Elliott aka The Hairy Jav

O'Keefe, yes. We ran O'Keefe past him, I think. It was during the – In the Eden Park Sheds.

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Chapter 4: What are the implications of Finn Allen's big cash deal in the Hundred?

70.802 - 71.003 Grant Elliott aka The Hairy Jav

Yes.

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71.343 - 73.95 G Lane

No, just straight O'Queef. Straight O'Queef.

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Chapter 5: What innovative cricket box design was introduced by Kane Williamson?

74.05 - 74.832 G Lane

Yeah, O'Queef.

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Chapter 6: How does the new cricket box withstand high-speed deliveries?

75.494 - 80.767 G Lane

And so he's okay with it. And, in fact, you know the handsome referees that we were talking about.

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80.888 - 83.494 Grant Elliott aka The Hairy Jav

Who's the blondie? Have you worked out who he is? Warwick LeMert. Warwick LeMert. Yeah.

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83.574 - 104.123 G Lane

Yeah, so he's a former Sevens player, former New Zealand Sevens player. Oh, I see. He's hot, but apparently in the ACC post, and Joe Giroud has seen this, Ben O'Keefe responds and says, this is going to drive you guys crazy. Nick Berry, myself, and Warwick Lemert are all working on the same game this weekend.

0
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104.183 - 112.518 G Lane

And that's why I got the... That's a wet dream. And I'm trying to work out which game it is. I haven't actually... But yeah, we will get there. We will get there. Oh, jeez.

112.658 - 115.884 Grant Elliott aka The Hairy Jav

That is... That's a three-way that you'd pay for.

116.505 - 119.992 Unknown

He's got a bit of a German vibe, doesn't he? Or something like that. Like... Lemur?

Chapter 7: What feedback did listeners provide in the 'Yours Please' segment?

120.072 - 121.835 Unknown

Well, he's the Swedish porn star. Yeah.

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Chapter 8: What are the future prospects for New Zealand cricket players in international leagues?

121.855 - 122.977 Unknown

Is that what you named him?

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122.997 - 123.979 G Lane

Yeah. Well, spot on then.

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124.179 - 125.061 Unknown

Yeah, spot on.

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125.041 - 149.614 Unknown

um anyway friday the 13th no no dramas as of yet no nothing too bad that's happened boys all good no i don't know so far i just wanted to clear that um nothing no kind of bad luck no no oh not yet no my son missed his bus so i had to throw him out of the car while i was moving as i went past the school yeah on you go son mcconnie all good no role yeah what have you been up to this week mcconnie

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149.594 - 166.506 G Lane

I remember my parents – sorry, yes, I'll tell you in a second. My parents used to have a – they didn't really have a flash car. We had an old car. Citroen? No, it was a Wolseley, and then we had a Triumph. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I love the Triumphs. And the Triumphs. With the wings at the back. Yeah, and I was never –

166.486 - 184.68 G Lane

I thought the Triumph was cool and then all the farming kids, their parents were buying Holden Calais and shit like that. Oh, the Calais. Yeah, the Calais. Yeah. But anyway, it was the cool Commodore thing came through and then it was like, and then the other, there was Fords as well, the Falcons and...

184.66 - 196.398 G Lane

And I was a bit embarrassed of my parents' car at that point, so I was quite happy for a drop-off around the corner. Yeah. I can't do the fly-by with all this kind of Calais bullshit going on.

196.418 - 207.432 Grant Elliott aka The Hairy Jav

Yeah, fair enough. Well, I mean, I do embarrass my son. I've got an inherited, actually, a Nissan Juke. Those little humiliators. Got a bit of a jitterbug vibe about it, doesn't it? It's a jitterbuggy. We call it the daisy duke.

208.674 - 216.521 Unknown

It's my favourite thing when I see you pull into our B1 car park. You're ends at me and Joe Jerry and I's desk is right beside the car park entry and we see you there hanging out the side of it.

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