Hannah Berner
Appearances
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I had a big parka on and a guy hit me in the car and I'm lying on the ground. And the first thing I thought about was like, tell my coach I'm going to be late because I'm going to be in trouble because like he's going to be like, why is she not here? Like I was so... It's almost cultish. You're just so obsessed with this team and doing your best and winning.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I recovered after a couple months, but I wasn't my sharpest. And I lost... This is very sports talk, but I lost five matches in third set tiebreakers. So it basically means one or two points were the difference in five matches. And if I had won those five matches, I would have won all these awards. I would have probably gone pro.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And for whatever reason, like these are really just these minuscule moments. I didn't win those matches. And I remember being like, I think the universe like a person can only take so much. And I but the thing is, I could have kept playing tennis and I would have been fine. But I knew there was more happiness in life that I just wasn't living anymore.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I wasn't happy and I was burnt and I just felt like a punching bag. And I also was getting really bad performance anxiety. And what's cool about the performance anxiety is that I thought I would have it in comedy too. And I didn't.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Like right before I did my first ever stand-up set, I thought, oh no, I'm going to start getting those feelings I would get before a match of just like dread and shame and like judgment day. Like whatever happens is going to, there's a lot weighing on it. And stand-up, I went on stage and I felt a calmness I hadn't felt before. So I urge people to find their calm.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's kind of like why try to fit into something that isn't right, right? And I do think I was playing for other people besides myself. I wanted my parents to be proud of me. I wanted my peers to think I was cool. And that's all you know when you're younger.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
You almost feel guilty when something comes easy. You're like, that's not how it's supposed to be. The dating stuff is so funny because I have a friend who loves dating drummers who were in jail. That's her thing. And she's gorgeous and such a catch, but she loves these projects to take on.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And she recently met this guy and she was like, I love him, but I feel like he needs a neck tattoo or something. And I was like, let's just take a breather. Keep seeing him. Because, yeah, there was this addiction to tennis that almost wasn't that healthy. Like I was addicted to the drama and the the just like the anxiety it was provoking in the highs.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I was actually still able to find those highs in comedy that was just like less torturous to me.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Yes.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Yes. I mean, I'm kind of obsessed with and by obsessed with, I mean, I heard about it once and I like it. Stoicism. Mm hmm. Because that was not my life. It's like, especially as an athlete, as a tennis player, you're like losing all the time. Or you're like, I'm the greatest that ever did this. Or you're like, I suck. I need to quit.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I think what I realized with tennis, and it was hard to admit, but I actually did not like the competition.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
But I thought that was just a problem that I had to overcome. I was like, you're just not doing it right. But all the girls around me would be like, I actually hate practice, but I love the competition. And the competition is literally what it means to be a professional athlete. When it came to comedy, some people will be like, I hate going on stage. I live for the stage.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Like, I'm more uncomfortable at, like, a group dinner. But if you give... Because I'm like, when do I talk? Do I do less? Do I do more? But when I have a mic on stage...
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I know exactly what to do and it's corny to say but like go towards your purpose and go to and the calmness is where it's like oh this is where you're supposed to be it's almost like with friend groups like you know when you're with people and you just feel like I'm saying everything wrong I'm awkward oh my god I hate myself I'm so embarrassed you could say those same things with the right people and you would feel like comfortable
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
so I feel like that with careers so going back to your question of which one should I do I literally did not like competing but I liked I was so comfortable with the idea of being a tennis player and overcoming this this performance anxiety and getting to the next level and it's like if you're going to do something for a long time and be good at it and want to be successful you have to
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
like it I know that sounds so simple people come to me they're like I want to start a podcast what should I do and I'm like do something that you would do for free and talk about for years yeah you can't just do it because you're like oh I want to see my face on a chart that's not there you won't make it there's no longevity in that they are also my people
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I was going through a hard time with reality TV, actually. And I started doing stand up and I would tell people what I'm going through. And the stand ups were just like making fun of me and seeing it through their lens. I suddenly felt safe. I felt calm. And I started to relate to them. I'm like, wait, I think like these people.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Finding community is a huge part of my happiness where tennis is very lonely. Everyone was my competition. And comedy is lonely too, but I was able to find a community within it. It's interesting. I'm like figuring this out right now as I'm speaking because people will say like, it's not about money. It's not about fame. It's about community.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
But I'm a pretty like, I don't love partying, socializing person. But comedy, I almost accidentally found people who accepted me, which I think has overall helped my day-to-day happiness.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I wasn't happy and I was burnt and I just felt like a punching bag. And I also was getting really bad performance anxiety. Right before I did my first ever stand-up set, I thought, oh no, I'm going to start getting those feelings I would get before a match of just like dread and shame. And stand-up, I went on stage and I felt a calmness I hadn't felt before.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
To me, it was like arts and crafts. I was like, we're all just painting. And like, I like your painting, you like mine. And I think some... Some comics get really into the comparison game because it's easy to be like, why did they get picked for that or they get picked for that? And I think I don't have an ego with comedy because I'll be honest, I have an ego with tennis. Tennis was my everything.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
So comedy to me was something no one even anticipated me to be in. So I have a lot of gratitude. Mm-hmm. And it's almost like because of my failure with tennis, I'm able to have such a nice outlook in the comedy space. Every now and then, you know, I do have that like tennis voice that comes in.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I remember before I shot my Netflix special, it started to hit me the result voice that I had with tennis, which was like... Oh, your whole career is riding on this. And comedy, I consider myself in a flow state because I'm not trying to be perfect on stage. It's about my energy. It's vibes. I always say people don't remember the joke you said. They remember how you made them feel. Yes.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
But then for the Netflix special, I felt like, oh, my God, this is like a final like I have to get every word right. And the perfectionist like tennis players started coming back. I called my therapist. I was getting a beta blocker.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I started to get this crazy anxiety, and I feel like it was almost like if you want to get to the next level, you have to face those demons that you thought you could just leave. by going to another career. I'm still the same person who was having trouble with tennis. So I was able to kind of battle some demons. I remember a quote that I loved that was like, what if you let your dreams come true?
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I remember being like, I think you're not the same girl, actually. You've grown, you've matured, you're safer mentally. And right before I went on, I was very nervous. Right before I went on, I was like, you're in control. And your skills are ready for the moment.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I felt the same with Fallon, where I was like, you could go up and fumble all your words and blank out, because that was what I would do on the court. Anything I was scared of, I would do. Like, oh, no, I hope I don't double fault. I double fault. Like, it was so frustrating.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And comedy has been a way for me to like, just like a new avenue for me to express myself in a much more like safer, positive place. But I have the same like drive and work ethic I think I had with tennis.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I also think we're told a lot like, keep chasing your dreams, push through, don't quit. So I'm not telling everyone to quit, but I actually think that you know when you're supposed to get out of something. And I think I knew it with tennis when the wins, I was feeling nothing. It was like a drug where if I lost, I'd feel horrible. And then the wins, I wasn't even getting the highs anymore.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
So in my head, it's like, why am I doing this if I'm not even getting a high anymore? And I think that's when I knew like, we're not even chasing anything anymore. We're just trying to stay afloat. And that's when you know, like, oh, the love is gone. And I also tell people, like, when they're confused about jobs, relationships, I'm like, and if you made the wrong decision, go back.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's kind of like why try to fit into something that isn't right. So I urge people to find their calm.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Then no one's like, there's no police that are policing your decisions of being like, oops, I messed up. And sometimes when you give people the freedom to be like, you can go back, they leave.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I'm a people pleaser. I mean, I think to be a comedian, like you, you want everyone to have like the best time ever. And that brings me joy. I think I have to thank reality TV because my reality TV, my biggest fear was to be perceived not who I was. But when you're 26, you don't know who you are.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I remember I'd go into social situations and I put a lot of pressure on myself to be like, I want everyone to think I'm really funny and I'm really nice and I care about them and I'm smart. And it's like putting so much pressure on myself. Every time I'd interact, I wanted to be in control of everything. I was like a type A student and achiever and reality TV person. You give up control.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
My first two seasons were good. My third season, I experienced what people tell you could happen, which is you lose the narrative and they're not showing your perspective anymore. They're showing it through other lenses. And it was my biggest fear to be misunderstood. There's one thing for tennis or comedy for people to be like, I don't like how she played. I don't like her jokes.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
But to be perceived based on things that didn't actually happen was... very painful for me. And I think I realized I also didn't have the heart for it.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Like I was too sensitive to be in a show that was about kind of like, who's good, who's bad, who we're rooting for, like WWE type stuff where I was like, it really is like sports for women of being like, who we're going to root for this season, who actually sucks that we didn't know. And that energy was, I was not good with it. And I got fired.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And at the time I was like, I got a talk show from it. And I was like, you just f***ed up your chance. And also I was confused because I was like, I was engaging with everything. I was responding to everything. I did everything everyone wanted me to do. So the math wasn't mathing. My like tennis mind of like, I worked hard. I'm doing well. And I got fired.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
If I didn't get fired, I wouldn't have a Netflix special. Mm-hmm. I also would probably not be in a healthy marriage. And I also would probably not feel like myself. So also when I got fired, I laugh. But I got a fire in me. And I think it goes back to that rebirth thing. I realized the one thing I can control that I'm so proud of myself is is that I can handle adversity.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
The stuff I went through with tennis, I went through some bad stuff like yips, like Simone Biles type stuff. Not to that level, obviously, but I will bounce back. And I don't care what people try to do to me or what happens to me. The cream will rise. I'm kind of annoying where I'm all about justice and I want everything to be in the right place and for everyone to be treated right.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
That's not life. But you're not a victim. You have to, again, have the perspective of like, just because I failed, just because I got fired, that doesn't have to define you. So I kind of got this silly idea where I was like, OK, I got fired from reality TV show and didn't feel like I was shown to be who I was authentically. What if I became like the biggest comedian I could be?
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Which, again, not a normal thought someone should have. But that's, I always think big. Like, that's how I've always thought. I really, like, put the head down and was so motivated by the firing. Like, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't fired. And it wasn't like, I'll f*** these people. It was like, I hear you. I see you. Let's find a new outlet.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Thank you.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I think people got everything. I have nothing left to say.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
, , , , , ,, P. P. P. P. P,實, ac , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P la� ac la� ac la� ac la� ac la� ac la� ac la� ac la� ac la, ac la, ac la, ac , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
No, thank you for that.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
. . . . .. the, P. P. P. P. P. P.實, not. , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a Laboratory a
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
,,,,,,, P P P P P P P in實, ac , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P but gener laст generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà generà gà g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. ger h in a in a in a in in a in a in in in a in h in h in h in h in h in in h in in h h in in h h
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
,,,,,,,. P P P P P P P實 ac , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
,,,,,,, in P P P P P P P P P實, ac, ac, ac ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, Kris Z P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
,,,,,,,. P P P P P P G實, ac, ac , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , P P P P P P P P P P No one's going to make you take a break and you actually have to have the self-love. Even if you think you don't need it to be like you do need to have balance. And I'm a workaholic and I love the highs of it. But I've also been working on like also when you're relaxing, like don't be mean to yourself.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Don't spend the whole day relaxing being like you should have gone to Pilates. So it's you creating the right narrative in your head of like that you're in the right space at the right time is kind of what I've been working on.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Oh, my God. I think I always was delusional. Like, I always was, like, bored without having, like, a dream. Like, at, like, seven years old, I wanted to be a professional tennis player. And someone told my parents, like, she's too late to start. My parents told me, like, you can't be a professional tennis player. Someone told us that. And apparently I cried all day.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
You're like, okay.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I mean, honestly, the biggest rumors were like stuff that would happen on reality TV. Because like there would be scenes where the back of my head would say something to someone. And I was like, that was not what the response was. So it was like living with like moments that just didn't happen that you had to kind of just like own. I didn't really own it. I would be like, no, it didn't happen.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I was like, shut up, stupid. But I think my support system has been really great. I only took it for granted or I just, I have very small support system. So I never thought that I was like special in any way. But now I'm realizing like it really is quality over quantity.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Like I always have that one best friend, my mom and my dad, my brother and my husband, maybe a couple other friends depending on the time. And I thought like you're kind of a lonely bitch. But then these people are so special that I can call at any time and they get me so well that I'm, I'm realizing more like, oh, they got me through that. Like I could not have done it alone.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
My poor mom, the calls she has to take.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's very guy of you. Like my brother will call my mom like once a month and I call her, I'm like, I'm eating chicken nuggets. Yeah, exactly.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Yes.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's so funny how heavy a mom's words could be.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Like I remember I was in like tennis craziness and I called my mom and I just was like...
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
just dark and my mom was like you're not being yourself and I was like who what do you even mean and she's like you're a light-hearted funny silly like goofy girl like that's who Hannah is like I don't know who this is right now but I'm just you know trying to figure out who I am it's an 18 year old and looking back I'm like she's so right that I was I was turning into someone I wasn't because I was
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
just forcing things. I also think with friendships and relationships in your 30s, you start being like, I don't have time to force things. And also, why would I force anything? Like, me and you, for example, like, I feel like if I was like, I need Jay to like me and, like, was obsessed with, like, connecting with you, who knows if that would have worked.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
But, like, we naturally hit it off and we have a friendship where, like, I feel like sometimes people will be like, if I ask them to get coffee and I do this, I live my life kind of like, put your energy out there and the right energies will come back. Three authentic relationships are better than thousands of people that you're like, they wouldn't be there for me when I need to bury a body.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Like, what kind of passionate little seven-year-old was like, how dare they tell me I can't do that? And then... I just was like, that's my dream. I just always wanted to, I wanted to be like different and great in some capacity, which could be very ego now that I'm looking back. But like, I just wanted to challenge myself and chase something.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I also find with dating, I used to be like, if I construct the perfect text message, he's going to realize that I'm cool. I was so into... I'd get nervous and be like, if I say this, they're like, I wasn't funny enough. And looking back, you're like, the emoji or not emoji did not change. Like...
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's funny because my husband, he met me when I was in the middle of this like insane reality TV time, which arguably like I was crying more than I've ever cried before. Like that's not what it's like being with me. I have other issues, but crying was not a thing. So it's talk about like someone loving you at your worst.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's almost like he saw me as like an open wound and he loved me through that. So I joke now I'm like first date, get in a fight, like, like start crying, tell him all your trauma. And like, if he can't fuck with it, be on to the next one. Why are we pretending to be perfect for three years and then realizing you hate them? I really thought that if I was perfect, perfect things would happen to me.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And that's just not the game.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's so funny how everything's so similar. I was like tennis where like even when I was like could not hit a serve, I had this confidence that I could still win. And I did win a lot. But like I always I joke like I always think everyone loves me. Like, I'll have friends. I'll walk into a room. Like, I have reverse biodysmorphia. Like, I think everyone's attracted to me.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
But I just had this confidence that no matter what was going on, like, that I'll fall in love and I'll have the most amazing relationship. And everyone's attracted to me and wants to be with me. And that was just what I put into the world. But I also...
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
had an ego with it where like I realized that I would go after emotionally unavailable guys because I wasn't ready I was like no one's rejecting me like no one's rejecting me and I'd go after like really good looking men who I didn't respect emotionally so that if it didn't work out I'd be like he's stupid
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
like obviously I didn't like him or like they wouldn't make me laugh or like I liked having hot men around me and it is kind of I always like male dominated spaces I'm wearing a tie right now but I kind of like I thought it was powerful to be like a girl that like could date a lot of hot guys It's like I didn't want to be fully seen either.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I finally like my husband is a guy who very good looking, but I really respect emotionally. And he sees me and he calls me out on stuff and is OK with all the things that come with me. And it was like scary and vulnerable, but it also felt really safe. Because I think it was with the right person.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I have been in relationships where I felt confident like this guy on paper is like everything someone would want. Like girls probably look and go like, oh, yeah, he's great. But I didn't feel like myself. And I'm proud of myself. I got out of a relationship when I was younger that like other people were like, why would you leave that guy?
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Because when I was alone at night, I didn't feel like I was able to be myself with him. And I realized your partner, if they're not an asset, I don't mean it like we have to make everything great and life happy. No, if they're not enhancing and supporting you and who you are, there's no reason to be in a relationship.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I still haven't played tennis since I know I was like, I was an athletic kid. And I think like I was the Serena generation, like seeing Serena. I was like, why can't that be me? It was always kind of like, yeah, why can't I do that? I don't know if it was intrinsically like my dad definitely instilled a lot of belief in me.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Someone said something kind of powerful that the person you're with directly reflects how much you love yourself. Even though I was like dating and confident, I wasn't like really putting myself out there fully because I didn't know if someone really saw me. They would be scary if they didn't love me. So I was like, well, I don't love them. I don't need them.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
But I honestly think having a bad relationship that hurts your mental health is It's so nice because, bear with me, you start realizing I don't want to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. It's too risky. If someone is bringing me down, I'd really, really rather be single 100% of the time.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
So once I got in that mentality in my late 20s, when the right guy finally came, I knew it because I wasn't just dating to date.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I just always was like, why can't me, especially in like spaces that I felt like I didn't belong, whether it was like male dominated spaces or just like, Like places that I didn't think easily I could get into. My dad has a story that we were ice skating once when I was like six. And all the girls were in the middle doing the jumps.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
My advice, I really do joke about it that like first date, if you go back to his apartment, like hide his remote and see what his true character is. Like, because I really feel, especially in LA, everyone's hot. And I'm like, I could get along with a hot person for months before I, like, realize what's going on. And I think life is so short.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's like, you can convince yourself that so many people are great for you, but, like, stop lying to yourself and...
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
immediately just be like do you feel like yourself with them and is it someone that you want to sit on the couch with for hours let's stop with the instagram bullshit let's stop with how it looks aesthetically and find someone that's good for your soul yeah because your relationship is like a mirror where like it's a voice that you have to listen to for the rest of your life
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Make sure that voice is someone you want to talk to and like they create the vibe of your life.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I love quitting. I love getting out of stuff. If you're not with the right person, like there is a right person there. Get out.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Yes.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I loved having a crush. I would make it up. He would just have to show like a little bit and I was like, I love this. I wanted to wake up with that high of like, is he going to text me? And then you finally like meet him and you're like, oh my God, this is not it. It took me a while. I would really just be like, as long as he's tall, I could figure this out.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And then everyone else is like scared holding the rink on the outside. And I was like, I want to go to the middle. And he was like, you've never ice skated before. And I'm like, put me in the middle, coach. So I just always had that attitude. And it's hard to always be chasing like lofty goals. But I think that's like the high that I like.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And then I remember feeling like I was assigning my soul to the devil. I was like, you deserve better. And I do think like you love yourself. The person you're with is showing how much you love yourself. You deserve the best. Also, as someone who's just got married, like I do have to say when you're growing up, you're like, who's my soulmate? Who's my soulmate? And not to be a Debbie Downer.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I believe there are soulmates. I don't think at all that there's one person. I really think of marriage as like a best friend in that. it's very similar to friendships. You know, when you meet someone, like I'll meet a girl and immediately I'm like, where the fuck has this bitch been all my life? She's amazing. I'm obsessed with her.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And you'll have a couple of those kind of relationships in your life. And that's how I feel with men as well. Romantic relationships. So it's like the person I'm with right now is, He's so right for me. He's amazing. I do think there's other people in the world that potentially I could have married and had that I haven't met.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
So it's like you create your own adventure and you find the person that's right for you in that moment. People will be mad like, why did I marry this guy? And I'm like, maybe he was right for you. in 1997 or whenever it happened, he was perfect for you in that time. So stop putting so much pressure on this like one insane thing. It's like, no, it's vibes and it's like finding your best friend.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And you'll have a lot of beautiful relationships in your life.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I do have to say, my husband has a joke. He's a comedian too. He actually has a really good bit about mindfulness that I feel like you would like.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's just about how mindfulness, he jokes about back then, it was just like watching precipitation go down. He's like, you can't even sit and take a shit without like scrolling. Like mindfulness used to just be existing. I butchered that bit, but it's about that.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
you're now doing his bit I'm doing his bit but he has this joke about marriage how he'll tell people like we don't spend a lot of time together because I'm on the road a lot he's on the road and how people like 35 and under are like oh that must be really hard but that people 35 and over are like you guys are gonna make it yeah
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
So like we never get into that like roommate situation where you start feeling like, oh, this is just a roommate that I have that lives with me. It stays kind of exciting because we don't have that routine. Our careers are very kind of crazy. And we're really good at communicating. I think the funny thing about marriage is that dating is a lot of chasing.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
There's a lot of like, are we going to get engaged? Are we going to get married? What is this going to be? And then you become it. It reminds me of life where like, if you don't love the journey... there's no point to it. And you realize like, oh, this isn't about getting the ring. Like this is just about finding someone I want to be with. With him, it's like, we're married.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
We're not, I'm not playing any more games. The games are over. And I liked kind of being like, what's going to happen? And there's no game playing. That's your person.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I do have to say the peacefulness of marriage has been really nice for me in terms of like dating actually was really time consuming and stressful. So I feel like I'm able to focus more on my career and
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
being myself I used to like not be able to enjoy friends sometimes because I'm sitting there thinking about a guy we're at dinner and I'm just like I don't really care about this because like so and so hasn't texted me back where now I have this like comfort of like I have my person who's my sidekick and there for me and I can actually be myself more like which has been really nice.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
When I was single, I was boy crazy and I was like putting it on a pedestal. So I've done that and been that. And I think once you realize you just, you don't want to force it.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
My ultimate dating tip is that do the things you love and it'll attract people who will love you. Where it's, I tell people like, I know this is corny, but like, if you like volleyball, join a volleyball league. You can't just like sit around hoping like be you and they will come.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's the baseball field, as they say.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
else rather than the exhaustion of thinking that it was cool to date multiple women or have affairs or whatever they thought it was when they were growing up the stress that again they're addicted to exactly but I do have to say to be a little positive my parents have a really beautiful relationship and like they still like they flirt they love each other they make
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
each other laugh and in my relationship like I still my friend makes fun of me but like I still get butterflies with him like I do have it it's not you know we're two years in and it's early but I found someone who keeps me like excited so that's possible it's not like oh you meet someone and then you're just like
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
yay we're bored no like I found someone who he definitely is emotionally like we say like our love language is laughter yeah so we're making fun of each other and it's like we're constantly playing the game of how can we make each other laugh absolutely yeah we banter all day me and my wife it's so important
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
As you get older, you're like, this is an insane hobby to have.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Like there's so many things that can go wrong.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I was going to say, it makes you not take for granted them being there when you wake up.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And we also are very good at communicating. Like, we'll be on the phone, like, all day. Even if it's just, like, a two-minute call to be like, this thing happened to me.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's just natural. And I joke, like, your relationship is a conversation you have for the rest of your life. Like, do you want to have it? I saw like a random, probably a TikTok about how the person you marry is the person that's going to be with you when like your parents pass away. Like who do you want to be with you in those hard times?
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's not who do you want to be in the wedding photo with you.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And she needed him. And I realized I needed my husband during my hard time. And I also think that trauma bonding is real. Obviously, trauma bonding can be bad. But like, I think we are so much powerful of a couple because early on we were dealing with so much adversity that now when something happens, like we're so easily able to handle it.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
So when bad things happen to you when you're in a relationship, it's actually going to show you if you're in the right relationship, which is awesome.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Yeah, it's crazy title.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Two things. One, I do think that women do have like they have the biological clock in their head where they're like, okay, if I switch this and then I have kids at this time and then I'll be behind. They're dealing with like that kind of stuff. I do have to do a shout out to my parents. I think I was raised a very, I don't know if it's unique, but I was raised very like genderless. Yeah.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Like I wore whatever clothes I wanted to wear. My dad really treated me. I wouldn't even say like a boy, just like I was never said I was pretty. It was about like being hardworking. And I think growing up as I got older and people started to be like, you're a girl. You're not allowed to do that. I was like, that's hilarious. And I'm going to show you that. that's not true.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
There's a lot of lives. I'm like a cat.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I think even like wearing the tie, I joked that like, it makes me feel people are like listening to me more. Like I could say things I don't know about. And people are like, she sounds like she knows what she's talking about. And I love playing with the gender roles.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Cause I think they're socially constructed in a way, but I also do realize now that I'm, I'm 33 and some male comics, their careers are popping off like mine and, Where I'm like, if I want to have a kid, I have to do it in the next couple of years. How is that going to affect my trajectory? Where they cannot have, they don't give a fuck about that.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I'm used to being like, there's no difference between me and you. But then I realized like, oh shit, there is differences. But I like to be, in terms of like my feminism, people get confused thinking that feminists are like, men and women are equal. We're not. Right. We're very different in so many beautiful ways.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And like, we want equal opportunities, but we're going to go about it our own way. So it's finding like, what is your superpower as a woman? And I do think with women, this is good. Women love to be over prepared and overqualified for things before we do it. I'm working on this new bit about like, I say a lot of men are pilots because no woman would just wake up and be like, I could fly a plane.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Like she would have to be like so good at flying planes to finally be like, can I fly a plane?
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And then I joke, like if women flew planes, we'd literally be lost all the time and like need snacks and stuff like that. But anyway, there's, it's multifaceted. So I think with women, Stop waiting to be like over prepared to do something.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I think so many men will just be like a little bit confident and be like, I'll figure it out where women like even a job interviews. I feel like men will be like, I'll figure it out where girls will be have to be so over prepared to even go into the interview. Like even when I was like a sports reporter for a second.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I had to show that I knew sports so well to even get in the same room where like a dude, they just assume he knows it because it's like sports. So for girls, I'd say do things you're not qualified for. I was not qualified to get a Netflix special, but I did it. If you looked at my resume, you'd say that girl should not have a Netflix special. But I did. And it was top five on Netflix.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
You can say firing. You can say firing. You don't have to sugarcoat it. No, it's funny. I recently was like DMing an astrologer, as you do. And she was like, you're really about like rebirth. And you're all about like things falling apart and then coming up like a phoenix. And I was like, why couldn't I have something easier be my purpose? But I've... Yeah.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
So I think for the girls, don't wait till you're overqualified. Challenge yourself and you gain confidence when you're able to do something you didn't know you could do.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I literally have chills. I have chills because that is so true. And women are so competent, but I guess there's a safety thing with it. I do have to say something about experience. They did a study somewhere.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I swear this wasn't from TikTok, but a study about like doctors and how some new doctors were actually better than doctors who had like 40 years of experience because they were actually like fresher, more open minded, more up to date. And just how like just because someone has more experience with you doesn't necessarily make them better than you at something.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
My advice for like job interviews is I would go in and be like, I don't have the years experience you want, but these are all the ideas I have of what I'm going to do. So don't wait till you're overqualified. Like do things you're underqualified for and see what you're capable of.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
She wouldn't imagine it, but I feel like she'd be like, that's awesome. I do think there was a time when I was like 24 and I was like in sales or something. And one of my cousins said like he was going to move to LA to be an actor. And I remember getting like a guttural reaction.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
jealousy that i was like not expecting and looking back i was like why are you jealous that your cousin's moving la to do acting that's insane you don't even want to be an actress but deep deep down i did and i like didn't admit it to myself because it's like a lot to admit that you want to be a performer or want your dreams it's scary to say what dreams you want
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
for anyone who's feeling like a jealousy towards something, that's the universe telling you, you want to do it. And it's crazy that years later now, like I'm getting into acting and I tried so hard to fight it, but the universe was like, you're not doing that. You're not doing that until I got in this lane.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I like to say, even though I've never surfed, it's like surfing where like when you find the right wave, it's going to feel easier and you're going to love it. It's going to be fun. So like find your wave.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I, um, when I outgrow something or don't feel right, like I, I get out of it and sometimes people get out of it for me when I don't have the balls to be like, this isn't my space anymore. But, um, yeah, I've been, I had to quit. I quit tennis. So I felt like a loser, even though I spent my whole life pursuing it.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I was always obsessed with successful people. Like I'd look at like Rihanna and I'm like, what is different about her than other people? And when you strip it down, it always starts with she tried. Like 80% of it is being like, I want to be this and I'm going to do it. And then I like to literally sit down and like say something crazy. Like, okay, I want to get a Netflix special.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Then I literally go backwards of all the things you have to do to get there. Okay, to get a Netflix special, you'd have to perform in front of someone at Netflix. How do you do that? You'd have to be selling out theaters. How do you do that? You'd have to get JFL. How do you get JFL? You'd have to go in the clubs. How do you get in the clubs? You'd have to start writing. How do you start writing?
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
By doing it tomorrow. So then it's like you literally have the path and it starts so small. And I think so many people don't want to go through the whole path. And then when you think about it, it's like you just have to go do it. It's actually a lot less overwhelming when you think I just have to write tomorrow than be like, I have to get a Netflix special in two years.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
But realistically, I got a Netflix special in like... five years of comedy plus COVID, which is crazy. But it's because that wasn't the plan. It was just, I wanted to be myself and have fun doing comedy.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
when life has like so many moments one of my favorite things to tell people is especially like video creation people will be like what if I told you the 15th video you post is going to go viral how quickly would you post the next video I kind of am obsessed with the gritty work it was this concept I think like with tennis people would say like when are you practicing when people aren't watching are you practicing in the rain like that type of like sports stuff so I feel like
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Yeah, people will go and do the flashy stuff, but I think I get ahead because I'm doing this boring stuff that people don't want to do. So when you realize like, oh, someone got a Netflix special because they did the little tedious things that are actually anyone could do. It's just people don't want to do it. So it's like, put your head down and like you can accomplish anything.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I played number one for the university of Wisconsin, full scholarship, like externally people were like, she's successful. Where in my head, I'm like, I'm a loser failure because I didn't win Wimbledon. And then I'm like, why did I do all that? And then I eventually got into video production. And I got fired from that job. And then I did reality TV and I got fired from that.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Thank you. Thank you.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And now I have a Netflix special. But it really... Where some people might be like, oh, you're getting fired. I really was like... I was finding myself every time. And the more you are connected to yourself, the more honest you are with yourself and in tune with yourself, the more spaces might not be right for you. I've never been good at just like blindly following. I don't like being fake.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I can't pretend. To be happy, like, my body will reject situations. Same with, like, relationships. Like, I can't... The second I'm like, this is not right for me, I, like, blurt it out. Like, it needs to come out.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And it's funny. At first, I was like, oh, no, do I have bad anxiety? And... I've talked to people and they're like, no, your intuition is actually really good. You just have to listen to it. But when you question it, that's when you, like I've been in places where I'm like, I'm myself sabotaging, but my body's just like, this isn't for you.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Yeah, because I feel like we can lie to ourselves a lot, especially when you're like mentally strong. And in tennis, you have to really suppress your mind. You have to be like, I'm not nervous. I'm not tired. I'm so ready for this match. And you have to like numb your inner thoughts and
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And as I got older, I realized, wait, I have to start listening to my inner thoughts because they're actually right. And with tennis, I realized looking back, all the success I have now is because of the tennis training I had. It really was part of who I am now. Like just because you lost a dream doesn't mean that's not going to make you better at something else.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's not like, oh, that was a waste, which I love to tell people. But also like I love divorce. I love firing. I love leaving places that aren't right for you. And I feel like so many times you think you have to stay. I think the coolest part about life is tomorrow I could wake up and say, I don't want to do this anymore. And there's such a beauty in that.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
It's so funny because everything is perspective. Like, even me joking. Like, I did that. That was a waste. And I didn't win Wimbledon. And you laughed. Like, it's funny. But then it's also like, cut me up. Sorry. But it was like, when I was little, I was like, the fact you didn't win Wimbledon, you're a piece of shit. Because that was 20 years of putting your heart and soul into this dream.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
But when I... When I started doing comedy, my career ascended abnormally fast. And I tell people, it's because I had a career before this to prepare me. And I approach comedy the way I approach tennis, but healthier. Tennis, I was very hard on myself. And I had the work ethic, but I didn't always practice smart. I was very... It's like negative self-talk.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And with comedy, I'm now like re-coaching myself in a new way. So I'm like, when you go on stage, you're going to be positive. You're not a loser when you mess up. And I get to speak to myself the way I wish I was spoken to in my past career. And I see so many people who are like sad because they're ending something. And I'm like, you're going to be so good at the next thing. And also...
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
There's a lot of shame that comes with when you didn't accomplish something you wanted to. But these are all just your own games you're playing in your head of what you should be. Because if I look back, I actually... My first love was acting and being goofy. I loved drama class. I loved painting. I loved creating. But I happened to be super athletic.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And that was where I was kind of pushed towards. And looking back, I'm like, wait... I didn't think you can make money doing what you love. I thought you had to be like a tortured athlete who was just like on the grind. And for anyone who's feeling kind of not having a purpose right now, think back to what you loved when you were a kid.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And I know it sounds crazy, but like you can still be that kid and have that joy before society told you all these things that you should do to be successful. And I kind of realized tennis, there were too many rules and I like don't enjoy playing by the rules.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
like I don't like staying in the box and tennis was all about like hitting in the lines and stand up I think I love cause like I go on stage and no one can tell me what to do and it turns out that's where I can be my most myself
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Oh, I've broken rackets. I've definitely, you know, had like coaches that wanted me to change stuff about my game that I would try, but I didn't really believe it. It was a lot of like, just trust your coach and don't listen to yourself. And it really, it made me who I am. And I actually couldn't watch tennis for years after. I was very like, it was like an ex-boyfriend. Wow.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Because it was the longest relationship I ever had. So, but now I like love tennis. Like I have it on all the time. I played a lot this summer to get fit. And I was like, wait, it's a part of me and it makes me who I am. And me calling myself a loser is just, that's a perspective you can take. Or you can be like, by the way, I actually was really good at tennis back in the day. Isn't that cool?
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Yeah.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
And you can't just know it.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
You have to go through those trials and tribulations. Like I tried entertainment in so many different ways. Like I worked at a company. I did reality TV. Like I did a lot of things that I didn't. And I was like, it doesn't really feel right. But I do like parts of it. So then you grow and you just take what you learn.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
That's why anyone who's having a tough time in their 20s, you're supposed to have a tough time. Like the 20s, everyone's flailing. And you take that time. So by the time you get to 30, you're like, oh, first of all, I'm tired. I'm too tired to be like upset about things. And two, I kind of know what I like and what I don't like.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
I don't like say it that much because I don't want people to think I stopped tennis because I got hit by a car.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
But my last year at University of Wisconsin, I was playing number one for the team. And I kind of had this idea that if I had a great season, I would then go pro. And this season, it was going pretty well. And then right before like the Big Ten tournament... I got hit by a car going to practice and it was like 7 a.m. University of Wisconsin. It was like zero degrees.