Hayley

This would be common, wouldn't it, in a lot of relationships?

Yeah, it can be.

And it can be due to external variables.

It might be a medical situation where there's a thyroid issue or some sort of heart problem or whatever.

Or it might be low testosterone.

All sorts of things could be going on.

But you could also have a stress situation where at work you've got such a huge schedule that sex is really not on your mind.

Kids as well.

So it can involve a lot of different variables.

So what you got to do is you really got to sit down with the person and say, okay, I noticed this is what's happening.

Let's talk about what are the variables that are contributing to this?

Is it about me and, you know, what I'm doing in the relationship or is it things outside of the relationship?

And then once you start talking about that, you can then come to an understanding of how are we going to do this different now?

It might be,

that you schedule in sex, which sounds very unromantic.

Exactly.

So you've got to be able to schedule sex, but you can also have desire-driven sex as well, which may start to come into it once you schedule it in.

And so that's kind of how you're trying to work through this mismatch scenario.

But I would...

What I would do is I'd talk about it gently rather than, hey, you know.