Helen Lewis

But if you said, do you want a 10 out of 10 incredibly chiseled ab boyfriend?

Or do you want one who will have dinner ready for you when you've had a really long day out?

Almost all of them, I think, would probably pick the small, thoughtful acts of kindness over Stone Cold Hottie.

I just think that's how it works.

And I think that's, again, it's a big part of this political project.

It's very difficult to accomplish if women don't have to put up with it.

But what I find so unsettling about the visions of masculinity in lots of these books is they seem so anxious at the same time as calling women anxious.

They seem so unsettled, so on their edge.

They don't feel happy.

They feel stressful to me.

And that's me reading them as a woman.

I don't know if you had the same experience as a man.

But that's why, as with many eugenicist fans, lots of these people don't have kids themselves.

And also while having lots of, you know, attacks on childless cat ladies, lots of these people also don't have children.

Yeah, I don't want to live in the world that they envision.

And I think it's also a recipe for anxiety.

This idea that you have to have a woman that you control.

And actually, if she does things, if she's disobedient, that's a bad reflection on you and it's humiliating to you.

I think it's a recipe for both violence in relationships, but also deep insecurity and unhappiness.

For me, the vision of equal partnerships is just that it's so much more relaxing.