Hester Grainger

I personally think

that actually you don't grow out of your executive function age and your difficulties.

I think you just find ways to manage it.

And I think a lot of ADHDers feel much younger than they are and they feel quite carefree and actually executive function with the working memory, like you said, remembering that you had that deal.

And actually, even if you do remember it, there can be that slight PDA of just going, do you know what?

Actually, no.

And you kind of screw yourself.

You're a bit like, well, no, I'm not.

You're telling me to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

Yeah.

Again, I can think of more exciting things to do.

Yeah, I think there's two things there.

You've got the shame of not actually doing it.

So as in now my house isn't as lovely and nice and tidy or my flat isn't as clean as it was.

But also the shame of, oh, for goodness sake, once again, I haven't done it.

I've not kept my promise to myself.

And I'm sure you've talked about this before, but by the time you're 12, a child with ADHD will have received 20,000 more negative comments than their peers, their siblings, etc.,

whether that's you're lazy must try harder you know stop fidgeting tidy your room it's a mess etc and I always say those people those children with ADHD grow up to be adults and that's why there's a lot of shame a lot of stigma involved so you've almost got the two different sides of it you've got the shame of going do you know what I really can't be bothered actually I really cannot be bothered and then also the I can't believe once again I'm lazy I'm

I hear this so many times from clients.