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ADHD Chatter

5 Cleaning Rules That DESTROY ADHD Brains (and 10 that actually help you declutter)

13 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the five cleaning rules that don't work for ADHD brains?

0.031 - 21.169 Hester Grainger

If you're ADHD, your executive function level is about a 30% deficit age-wise from a neurotypical brain. A 20-year-old, their executive function skills might be 30% to 40% their age younger. So you're actually dealing with like a kind of 12-year-old, which is why you might have teenagers and you're thinking, why is this not working? You don't grow out of your executive function difficulties.

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21.289 - 23.473 Hester Grainger

I think you just find ways to manage it.

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23.453 - 50.794 Hester Grainger

Hester Granger is the ultimate ADHD coach and viral sensation spreading her ADHD message to millions online as an ADHD advocate and renowned public speaker she is an expert in all things ADHD our ADHD brains don't have enough dopamine cleaning and sorting and life admin is really really boring so we can think of a hundred things as much more fun the idea of little and often or doing a little bit every day is wonderful in principle but I do think that there are better ways

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Chapter 2: How can doing a little every day be ineffective for ADHD?

50.774 - 54.826 Alex Partridge

Can that trigger like a shame response because you've kind of like not fulfilled a promise to yourself?

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55.006 - 59.62 Hester Grainger

I think there's two things there. You've got the shame of not actually doing it, but also the shame of...

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60.089 - 78.827 Alex Partridge

Huge announcement just before we start. Tickets to the ADHD Chatter podcast live theatre show are selling fast. I'll be joined on stage by three leading psychiatrists and we'll be unpacking all things ADHD, how to process a late diagnosis or DHD and of course the dreaded rejection sensitivity dysphoria.

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78.847 - 90.503 Alex Partridge

I really hope you can join me for a night full of validation, laughs and insights and one that will remind you that you're not broken, just different and that you have always been enough. It's on the 19th of May in London.

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Chapter 3: What is body doubling and how does it help with cleaning?

90.664 - 99.275 Alex Partridge

You can find a link to the tickets in the description. I can't wait to meet you in person. Hester, welcome back.

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99.615 - 100.156 Hester Grainger

Thank you.

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Chapter 4: Why is out of sight storage a challenge for ADHD individuals?

100.236 - 101.057 Hester Grainger

Thank you for having me.

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101.118 - 103.101 Alex Partridge

You've been very busy since you were last here.

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103.541 - 117.523 Hester Grainger

Yes, yeah. I think it's been a couple of years now, and I was on tour last year, so I did 27 dates in theatres with a show called ADHD Unmasked, and then I'm going to go on tour later again this year with a show called ADHD Unfiltered. It's been busy, but it's good to be back.

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117.743 - 123.272 Alex Partridge

That's good. How do you manage the complexities, the stress of touring? Was that quite a lot?

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123.252 - 139.672 Hester Grainger

Do you know what? It was a lot. But equally, I've got an amazing husband, Kelly. He was at home sorting the kids out, sorting all the pets out. So actually, I feel slightly spoiled that I was just away. I could just concentrate on the show. Obviously, I went home, etc. But I was kind of away for sort of, you know, 10, 11, 12 days at a time.

139.712 - 150.845 Hester Grainger

And it just meant that actually I could concentrate on what I was doing. So I loved it. I had like the best time. I met so many people. And I got to speak about ADHD every night on stage.

Chapter 5: What are the downsides of deep cleaning marathons for ADHD brains?

150.925 - 152.567 Hester Grainger

So for me, there's nothing better.

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152.547 - 155.033 Alex Partridge

Sounds brilliant. And what was the state of the house like when you got back?

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155.675 - 169.83 Hester Grainger

Actually spotless. Was it? Yeah, completely. He runs a military ship going on at home. And yeah, I would say Kelly is a lot tidier than I am, but I don't like mess, but I kind of can't help it.

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170.08 - 173.164 Alex Partridge

Kelly is your husband and is he neurotypical?

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173.425 - 180.174 Hester Grainger

So he is, Kelly's autistic and ADHD and maybe that's why it's so immaculate because everything's got a place and he knows exactly what's happening.

Chapter 6: How do rigid daily cleaning schedules impact ADHD management?

180.194 - 181.175 Alex Partridge

His own ying to his own yang.

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181.436 - 194.634 Hester Grainger

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, but Kelly was diagnosed in his 40s as autistic ADHD, so he's all ADHD and then I'm ADHD, I was diagnosed in my 40s and then we've got two teenagers who are now 14 and 16.

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Chapter 7: What are some practical tips for decluttering effectively?

194.714 - 199.241 Hester Grainger

So truly neurodivergent house, which obviously can be interesting.

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Chapter 8: What final advice does the guest offer for managing ADHD and cleaning?

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199.747 - 211.593 Alex Partridge

And that's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about five cleaning hacks that don't work for neurodivergent brains, but then also the really helpful part is like, what does work?

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212.014 - 228.682 Hester Grainger

Yeah, because I think there's so much, like I'm an ADHD coach and I just hear this a lot from my clients saying, Like my house is a mess. And then obviously, if you've got a messy house, it's a messy brain, which then impacts work or your family and just kind of feeling that you can't settle when you're at home if your house is a mess.

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229.143 - 247.099 Hester Grainger

So actually, as you said, with the five that don't work and kind of why? Because I think there can be this perception that you might watch some, you know... TikTokers going, oh, this is how you clean your house, clean influencers, which you are amazing. But then you sort of think, well, why is that not working for me? Why can't I do that?

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247.119 - 250.628 Hester Grainger

And if you've got a ADHD brain like me, there are reasons why.

250.895 - 259.006 Alex Partridge

Yeah, I feel like a lot of the neurotypical advice assumes that you have some kind of manager going on in your head and not just five raccoons with a whiteboard.

259.186 - 276.75 Hester Grainger

Yes, this is it. If the raccoons have remembered the pen off the whiteboard because they may not have done or one of the raccoons broke the whiteboard. But yeah, I think this is it. And that's the point I think is really important is for people to not feel bad and wonder, well, why is my house a bit of a mess or why can't I keep on top of things?

276.73 - 295.35 Hester Grainger

And I always say that actually, I think, you know, having ADHD, I find it really hard to be an adult. Like I'm 48 now and I just still find adulting really difficult. I have to do it and my husband has to do it. And, you know, we run our business, Perfectly Autistic, so we're really busy. And then we've got the teenagers as well who want to live in a nice, clean house.

295.951 - 310.973 Hester Grainger

If you go into my daughter's bedroom, it is spotless. She's autistic ADHD as well, and it is spotless. And I think that's quite unusual with teenagers. So I feel quite blessed. But yeah, I think it's just not having that shame that can be involved sometimes with your home.

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