Holly Wainwright

Well, who's got time to be messaging every day?

And you and me had a really good chat about that because the problem with the constant contact stuff is that sometimes you've got lots to talk about with somebody, you know, so you might be in a period of high engagement, but then you might not.

And to me, that doesn't mean that friendship is dying or in danger or anything.

It's just, it's just a life thing.

But the reach out is crucial.

And you made the point in that conversation, which I thought is really true, that how are you is the worst question.

Oh, it's.

And I know I'm guilty of it often, right, because I'll suddenly think, I haven't talked to Betty in months and I've got two minutes while I'm not doing anything.

Yes, so I'll be like, hey, Betty, how are you?

And like what kind of a question is that?

And you guys talked about different openers and I think you're right.

Like my friendships that have a lot of energy, even if we don't see each other very often,

You just can kick off with any message.

But my concern with us putting too many rules around how regular contact has to be and all those things is that we're always on the lookout for a slight.

You know what I mean?

So if somebody reaches out to me and is like, did you see Chalamet's ridiculous moustache at the Oscars?

And if I start off with, well, where have you been?

You're giving someone a gift of making a reply quite easy too, right?

Because it's like, what are you eating right now?

Or like, I don't know, whatever.